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.........So why would he say things to me like future talk? Was he that intent on getting some from me.......needless to say I am not that experienced so maybe it was a disappointment to him.
Any thoughts.......I really could use advise before I end up making the same mistake twice......Also he is the only guy I have gone out with since I left my husband 15 months ago.
When you said he used things like "future talk", a lot of guys try to use those key words as if it's the key to getting into your bed & getting some from you.
He may not have seemed to be a player to you but those key words he used seem to be famous among the players.
Your own anger put you there. I would hope any therapist worth a grain of salt would tell you to start taking accountability for your actions.
Funny thing, I'm not an angry person, and my therapist never even talked about anger as it never came up. I asked him what he thought, he said I was just frustrated.
Not sure what accountability for what actions you are talking about. I haven't done anything that warrants me taking action toward more accountability.
Your own anger put you there. I would hope any therapist worth a grain of salt would tell you to start taking accountability for your actions.
WOW...........I need to clarify everything............
I met a guy..........I like him...........both of us out of LTR's mine marriage his engaged but living together for 5 years.
I haven't dated in 17 YEARS.........I'm afraid of getting hurt, so I do have a wall up and hoped we could have a casual relationship where neither of us got hurt, take our time and see where it goes. WE both said that to some degree.
I have a friend that happens to be involved with his friend. SHE keeps saying things like, OH don't get involved with him, hes too good looking, can get any woman he wants, etc. She said he was some what of a player in his 20's therefore since he is single again he will go back to his ways. I realized that I was listening to her and not myself and I assumed he backed off because he was a PLAYER.......well I was wrong.
He is afraid of getting hurt, he is not over his ex and he is NOT dating or sleeping with anyone other than our 1 time together(I know about the not dating because of my friend and he told me.)
As for my kids, other than work I eat and breath for my kids. My ex took them from me, he was NEVER around until I filled for divorce now he's fighting for full custody. We alternate weekends and on my off weekends I take care of my ailing mother, go out with friends and yes dated my friend. During my OFF weekends I usually also go watch baseball, soccer, lacrosse or my daughters dance competitions during the day as well so I try to see them everyday. My kids come before my needs always have always will.
I let my fear of getting in a relationship with the wrong guy and listening to what others say get in my head too much. That is why I came hear just to see what others thought.
Everyday is a learning experience in this crazy wonderful life of mine, since I left my narcissistic husband.
WOW...........I need to clarify everything............
I met a guy..........I like him...........both of us out of LTR's mine marriage his engaged but living together for 5 years.
I haven't dated in 17 YEARS.........I'm afraid of getting hurt, so I do have a wall up and hoped we could have a casual relationship where neither of us got hurt, take our time and see where it goes. WE both said that to some degree.
I have a friend that happens to be involved with his friend. SHE keeps saying things like, OH don't get involved with him, hes too good looking, can get any woman he wants, etc. She said he was some what of a player in his 20's therefore since he is single again he will go back to his ways. I realized that I was listening to her and not myself and I assumed he backed off because he was a PLAYER.......well I was wrong.
He is afraid of getting hurt, he is not over his ex and he is NOT dating or sleeping with anyone other than our 1 time together(I know about the not dating because of my friend and he told me.)
As for my kids, other than work I eat and breath for my kids. My ex took them from me, he was NEVER around until I filled for divorce now he's fighting for full custody. We alternate weekends and on my off weekends I take care of my ailing mother, go out with friends and yes dated my friend. During my OFF weekends I usually also go watch baseball, soccer, lacrosse or my daughters dance competitions during the day as well so I try to see them everyday. My kids come before my needs always have always will.
I let my fear of getting in a relationship with the wrong guy and listening to what others say get in my head too much. That is why I came hear just to see what others thought.
Everyday is a learning experience in this crazy wonderful life of mine, since I left my narcissistic husband.
WOW...........I need to clarify everything............
I met a guy..........I like him...........both of us out of LTR's mine marriage his engaged but living together for 5 years.
I haven't dated in 17 YEARS.........I'm afraid of getting hurt, so I do have a wall up and hoped we could have a casual relationship where neither of us got hurt, take our time and see where it goes. WE both said that to some degree.
I have a friend that happens to be involved with his friend. SHE keeps saying things like, OH don't get involved with him, hes too good looking, can get any woman he wants, etc. She said he was some what of a player in his 20's therefore since he is single again he will go back to his ways. I realized that I was listening to her and not myself and I assumed he backed off because he was a PLAYER.......well I was wrong.
He is afraid of getting hurt, he is not over his ex and he is NOT dating or sleeping with anyone other than our 1 time together(I know about the not dating because of my friend and he told me.)
As for my kids, other than work I eat and breath for my kids. My ex took them from me, he was NEVER around until I filled for divorce now he's fighting for full custody. We alternate weekends and on my off weekends I take care of my ailing mother, go out with friends and yes dated my friend. During my OFF weekends I usually also go watch baseball, soccer, lacrosse or my daughters dance competitions during the day as well so I try to see them everyday. My kids come before my needs always have always will.
I let my fear of getting in a relationship with the wrong guy and listening to what others say get in my head too much. That is why I came hear just to see what others thought.
Everyday is a learning experience in this crazy wonderful life of mine, since I left my narcissistic husband.
Thanks for all the advise
Your first bolded statements are fuzzy and not accurate. He's not taking it slow. He's spending time hooking up sexually when he randomly sees you. You haven't seen or heard from him in months. That's not taking it slow. That's just 'when I see you, I get some'. Pleeeease read carefully what we are telling you and stop pretending this is the two of you "taking your time and seeing where it goes". He hasn't called in months and you wouldn't have seen him had it not been for dumb luck. So there is no "we" and no shared agenda here. Find a guy who actually wants to maintain contact and "see how it goes".
BTW, unless your friend is stuck to his left hip at all times she has no idea who he has booty called or hooked up with. Not everybody discusses that. I rarely discuss that with friends because it's just between me and my bedbuddy.
Your first bolded statements are fuzzy and not accurate. He's not taking it slow. He's spending time hooking up sexually when he randomly sees you. You haven't seen or heard from him in months. That's not taking it slow. That's just 'when I see you, I get some'. Pleeeease read carefully what we are telling you and stop pretending this is the two of you "taking your time and seeing where it goes". He hasn't called in months and you wouldn't have seen him had it not been for dumb luck. So there is no "we" and no shared agenda here. Find a guy who actually wants to maintain contact and "see how it goes".
BTW, unless your friend is stuck to his left hip at all times she has no idea who he has booty called or hooked up with. Not everybody discusses that. I rarely discuss that with friends because it's just between me and my bedbuddy.
Thanks for the advise, we have gone out a few times but only hooked up, booty call whatever it is called, once and that was in April but in any event your probably right......
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