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I have a couple of Happy Hour glasses of wine at a restaurant near my job a couple times a week. There's a guy there who has been flirting with me quite a bit lately who asked me to go to watch a comedy show a couple days ago. I did, had fun. Last night I found out he is a single father to FOUR teenaged girls. Two are from a previous marriage, live with their mother though he sees them several times a week. The other two are step-daughters, he remarried, and the new wife died shortly thereafter. So they live with him and he is now their one and only parent. He goes to happy hour at that restaurant because he meets them after their gymnastics lessons which happen around the corner.
This is a lot of baggage... but I can't help but that only a "good" guy would step up to this responsibility, and therefore he deserves a chance. (Plus I have enjoyed what little interaction we have had.) I'm not worried... but maybe I should steer clear of threads like this which only seem to discuss negatives!
Sorry never even got around to one of the more bizarre statements. I find the ridiculous litmus tests for men to be very insulting. You can't honestly be serious that you have to find a guy raising and paying for two children in addition to his own before you feel comfortable that you've found a "good guy." Really. Are the pickings that slim? This is the Oprafication of America. All men are evil. They have to be raising an orphanage of kids on their own before they get a break.
Its interesting that you only quoted one line out of an entire post. You avoided the line where I say there are exceptions to this statistic. What you have illustrated is a perfect example of a classic Straw Man argument.
There are 300 million Americans. If 1% of them are single adults with no children dating single parents that's literally millions of single childless people dating single parents. But I would hardly say that means the majority of single people are really interested in dating a single parent... if given a choice.
And on your other argument... You're saying that once you take out the teenage mothers and the divorcees that the poverty statistics improve dramatically? Where is this data? Please post your numbers as I have. So if I just make sure I hook up with a single mom who has never been married and is not a teenager her income level will be comparable to that of the broader society? Interesting. Again please post your figures as I have.
I only quoted one line because I was addressing that fact that no one doubts that quoted statistic. Do you deny that there are teen moms and divorcees that increase the poverty statistics. Im am actually agreeing that there are more single mothers in poverty. Duh. My arguement is that does not equate to every single mother is uneducated and unemployed. And I never stated that most singles were interested in dating single parents, but that it does happen often.
Dont need numbers and statistics and I realize there are exceptions.
But yes, I would guess that the stats would improve because its obvious single teen mothers have not had the opportunity and ability to be big earners and divorced mothers are now living on little over half the income they had previously but with the same expenses and dependants.
You can't honestly be serious that you have to find a guy raising and paying for two children in addition to his own before you feel comfortable that you've found a "good guy." Really. Are the pickings that slim?
Yes the pickings really are that slim. And yes by your late 30's and 40's the vast majority of men capable of committment are at the very least committed to their children.
I've "dated" a few single mothers. Never more than 2 dates though.
Two of my best buddies married single mothers and both of them are now getting divorced. One of them had a second kid so he is much more invested. Both women pretty much ended the relationship. The one with 2 kids wanted to be able to do what she wants to do when she wants to do it a.k.a. be a ***** w/o any attachments including her kids. The other one started to get violent with him when they fought so he left her. Just found out today she started sleeping with his best friend of 20 years (only 25 years old) 2 weeks ago. They started their divorce papers 2 months ago.
In both cases, these chicks have baggage in many different aspects. Both of them were lucky to find a man who helped them out greatly only to screw them over once they accepted her child. I feel bad for the kids and for my buddies but not the women.
Myself, I could NEVER ever seriously consider a single mother. I want to start my own family not take over someone elses and merge it with the one I start. I just don't have it in me to take care of someone elses baby that isn't truly mine. I know my buddy with the 2 kids loves both of them but he says things with double meanings enough times where you know he feels differently about his own son.
So yea, both of these chicks are now single and extremely ready to mingle. One has been married twice with 1 kid and the other married once with 2 kids. Both under 23...awesome!?
Sorry never even got around to one of the more bizarre statements. I find the ridiculous litmus tests for men to be very insulting. You can't honestly be serious that you have to find a guy raising and paying for two children in addition to his own before you feel comfortable that you've found a "good guy." Really. Are the pickings that slim? This is the Oprafication of America. All men are evil. They have to be raising an orphanage of kids on their own before they get a break.
You saw you were wrong with your previous posts, and instead of saying "oops" you are changing things to a litmus test that doesn't exist... Like I or any sane woman would have a "must be financially supporting four teens" litmus test.
Sorry never even got around to one of the more bizarre statements. I find the ridiculous litmus tests for men to be very insulting. You can't honestly be serious that you have to find a guy raising and paying for two children in addition to his own before you feel comfortable that you've found a "good guy." Really. Are the pickings that slim? This is the Oprafication of America. All men are evil. They have to be raising an orphanage of kids on their own before they get a break.
That isn't even what she said.
She met a man who is raising four daughters and believes that indicates he is a good man. You are inferring the opposite, that a man not raising four daughters is not a good man. That's fallacious.
I have been asking that question for years. The lack of a happy medium keeps me single and unwilling to date. I wouldn't mind a casual relationship but it comes with lack of respect.
I have dated girls of multiple ethnicities from Eastern and Western countries. I've lived a substantial portion of my life overseas. I have yet to find a single human culture where these "casual" relationships are widespread and generally accepted... except Hollywood movies.
They just don't seem to have long term viability. Eventually feelings get in the way and one of the parties feels disrespected.
If any of you ladies wish to give it a try I'm up for it. PM me picture and a little blurb about yourself and I'll do the same and see where it goes. I'm a private person though so no posting stories about our relationship on the internet please.
PS My in person persona is far more subdued than my internet persona. I do have manners.
You saw you were wrong with your previous posts, and instead of saying "oops" you are changing things to a litmus test that doesn't exist... Like I or any sane woman would have a "must be financially supporting four teens" litmus test.
You are insane and are only looking for a fight.
I pass.
Actually no. I highlighted the phrase in my original post but didn't get around to addressing it.
Also there has been a bit of hyperbole in some of my post for effect. I don't literally think that girls have a must be supporting 4 kids litmus test. If you read that and took that literally then I think that reflects more on your sanity than my own.
Its just a guy would never say that to one of his buddies about a girl he just met. I meet a girl and I give her the benefit of the doubt and take it from there.
I can't tell you how many times I've been at a dinner which I paid for and things are going well and my date asks me if I've ever cheated on a girlfriend, etc. Its astonishing. Nowhere else in my life do I have to be interrogated in this manner just to buy someone a meal.
Well it just wouldn't be a day, without bashing Single moms. =(
Actually the last several posts were about a single dad and no one is bashing. Its called a robust honest conversation.
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We can give it a try
I wouldn't mind a casual relationship but it comes with lack of respect.