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Old 04-23-2010, 04:30 PM
 
Location: NYC area
3,486 posts, read 5,401,252 times
Reputation: 3865

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3DogNight View Post
Yes he does. He also has a healthy interest in his wife!! He does do things with them, I know he does from what she tells me. It's just that he has outside interests, which I respect. She had them too. She has made the choice to not just focus but fixate on their kids. He does not share the fixation.

I think she needs to cultivate more fun, *private* adult time, not more shared parenting time. That will never be equal, seeing as he works and she does not.
Okay, that's reasonable -- but she still won't be able to provide as much fun and adult time as a woman without children.
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Old 04-23-2010, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Amarillo, Tx
622 posts, read 1,217,369 times
Reputation: 694
3Dog I totally get it and agree with you 100%.... I see this all the time too. Just makes bratty kids.
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Old 04-23-2010, 07:04 PM
 
Location: New York
3,570 posts, read 3,417,332 times
Reputation: 1326
It's a very simple answer.

If you are over 35, most desirable partners have already been married, and many of them have kids.

If you want to have someone in your life, you better accept that kids may come with the package.
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Old 04-23-2010, 10:26 PM
 
4 posts, read 15,071 times
Reputation: 58
Default The Original OP

After reading the posts, I stand steadfast that single parents should stick with single parents. Being a childless single, be it 35, 45 or 55, nobody wants to deal with the crap. Who wants to ruin the "ideal" family for your nightmare.

Despite whatever stellar person you might be, the baggage is to great for anyone with a pot to **** in. You are ALWAYS the second choice. Knowing this might help you realize that YOU need to step up and tend to your SO, or just take the refuse of society. Make no mistake...you will never get the BEST being a single parent.
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Old 04-23-2010, 11:47 PM
 
Location: 20 years from now
6,385 posts, read 6,524,016 times
Reputation: 4485
THis has been discussed to death but as insensitive as it may sound...

dating a woman with kids requires more work and compromise with less rewards and incentives than dating someone who doesn't have kids.

It is what it is...

And that's bascially it in a nutshell.
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Old 04-24-2010, 12:57 AM
 
Location: NC
5,135 posts, read 2,315,919 times
Reputation: 2395
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0 View Post
I remember when I once was online dating, and a guy said this to me:

"My 3 year old daughter is the number ONE woman in my life. So, where would you like to meet?"

There was no way I could ever compete with her, so I declined. To be a stepparent is a thankless task. It is not for everyone!
This is exactly the type of thing that would turn me off to a single mother. Even though she'd be #1 to me, her kid(s) would be #1 to her.

Some people can handle the unevenness, some can not. Its better to be true to yourself (and her/him) than lie....
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Old 04-24-2010, 05:43 AM
 
34,072 posts, read 40,078,280 times
Reputation: 48868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
Also, about the relationship coming first. That's true of a marital relationship. It shouldn't be true of dating. A boyfriend you just started seeing two months ago should NEVER come before children, and for people to argue otherwise is just insane. This may be one of the disadvantages of dating a single parent, but the fact remains that parenting is more important than dating.
You better believe it. Why anyone would expect differently, is beyond me. Good post.
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Old 04-24-2010, 05:49 AM
 
34,072 posts, read 40,078,280 times
Reputation: 48868
Quote:
Originally Posted by revelated View Post
Men need to know and feel that yes, you know how to shop for a computer, but you'd rather have him do it for you because he knows better. Men need to know that when you are ready to go on vacation that you're going to let him make the arrangements because it's "his role".
Oh what strange examples you chose! I'm the one that always is asked for advice on new computers - never the other way around. And a man making arrangements for a joint vacation? That would be lovely, but in my experience, that has ALWAYS been something the men never wanted to do.
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:43 AM
 
Location: New York
3,570 posts, read 3,417,332 times
Reputation: 1326
Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
THis has been discussed to death but as insensitive as it may sound...

dating a woman with kids requires more work and compromise with less rewards and incentives than dating someone who doesn't have kids.

It is what it is...

And that's bascially it in a nutshell.

As if children in ones life do not provide a richer experience. I guess it really depends on one's point of view. Some people embrace it, and other people, are complete narcissist.
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:53 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,520 posts, read 15,209,199 times
Reputation: 8079
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
What's this "we" thing? You got a mouse in your pocket?

LOL...........good one.

I'll have to use that one.
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