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Old 04-24-2010, 08:24 AM
 
Location: 20 years from now
6,385 posts, read 6,524,856 times
Reputation: 4485

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Quote:
Originally Posted by roseba View Post
As if children in ones life do not provide a richer experience. I guess it really depends on one's point of view. Some people embrace it, and other people, are complete narcissist.
Yes your own children will provide a richer experience, not someone elses lol. Hell, do you babysit for free because the "experience" is richer or do you expect payment for your labor? lol

I can just imagine being in one of those awkward moments when someone walks up to your family and says "gee golly....she looks just like you" and you respond"" ahem..*clears throat*...well...she's not really mines" lol.
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Old 04-24-2010, 08:44 AM
 
34,092 posts, read 40,089,488 times
Reputation: 48913
Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
I can just imagine being in one of those awkward moments when someone walks up to your family and says "gee golly....she looks just like you" and you respond"" ahem..*clears throat*...well...she's not really mines" lol.
Why would that be awkward? It's easy to tell that you are young yet, and have no children.
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Old 04-24-2010, 08:49 AM
 
Location: 20 years from now
6,385 posts, read 6,524,856 times
Reputation: 4485
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Why would that be awkward? It's easy to tell that you are young yet, and have no children.
Easy to see that you are someones mother and possibly single lol...nothing personal. But most men would probably see that an awkward situation as they explain away that the kid isn't there's and from the woman's previous relationship.
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Old 04-24-2010, 09:32 AM
 
34,092 posts, read 40,089,488 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
Easy to see that you are someones mother and possibly single lol...nothing personal. But most men would probably see that an awkward situation as they explain away that the kid isn't there's and from the woman's previous relationship.
I am definitely a mom. And yes, single (divorced). I've been dating since my son was 12 and honestly, have never felt that having child had any negative impact on my prospects. Perhaps I find your question a bit perplexing simply because of my perspective. I purposely waited until my son turned 12 to start dating - and that was a several-year wait. Once I did start dating however, I was, and am, very cautious about the men that I allowed to meet my son. Frankly, unless I have a very good feeling that the person is going to be in my life for some time to come, there would be no situations where the date would ever meet my son.

Given that I am very conservative and cautious in this area, (and yes I think that is the right path, but others will disagree), such a situation as what you posted, would rarely occur. But even if it did, the guy would be comfortable enough to laugh it off. I know that I would, if the situation were reversed. I simply don't see it as being awkward, not at all.
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Old 04-24-2010, 09:42 AM
 
Location: 20 years from now
6,385 posts, read 6,524,856 times
Reputation: 4485
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I am definitely a mom. And yes, single (divorced). I've been dating since my son was 12 and honestly, have never felt that having child had any negative impact on my prospects. Perhaps I find your question a bit perplexing simply because of my perspective. I purposely waited until my son turned 12 to start dating - and that was a several-year wait. Once I did start dating however, I was, and am, very cautious about the men that I allowed to meet my son. Frankly, unless I have a very good feeling that the person is going to be in my life for some time to come, there would be no situations where the date would ever meet my son.

Given that I am very conservative and cautious in this area, (and yes I think that is the right path, but others will disagree), such a situation as what you posted, would rarely occur. But even if it did, the guy would be comfortable enough to laugh it off. I know that I would, if the situation were reversed. I simply don't see it as being awkward, not at all.
Quick question Chessie, what was the age of your kid when you divorced? Was it a full 12 years before you began dating again? If so wow

I personally think that for men of a certain age, it is certainly manageable and even expected in many cases. Men who are considerably younger, (perhaps 35 and under) would probably find the situation a bit more awkward considering the idea that their are more women in their age ranges without children. Especially when the children are born by women are still in those early developmental stages. I know it sounds weird, but yes I think it's a bit different to explain how a woman with a 12 year old child isn't yours then it is to explain your relationship with a younger woman who has a baby by someone else that you may be caring for.
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Old 04-24-2010, 09:50 AM
 
34,092 posts, read 40,089,488 times
Reputation: 48913
Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
Quick question Chessie, what was the age of your kid when you divorced? Was it a full 12 years before you began dating again? If so wow

I personally think that for men of a certain age, it is certainly manageable and even expected in many cases. Men who are considerably younger, (perhaps 35 and under) would probably find the situation a bit more awkward considering the idea that their are more women in their age ranges without children. Especially when the children are born by women are still in those early developmental stages. I know it sounds weird, but yes I think it's a bit different to explain how a woman with a 12 year old child isn't yours then it is to explain your relationship with a younger woman who has a baby by someone else that you may be caring for.
My ex and I split up when my son was five, so yes, it was a good while. I could not imagine dating with a young child and had no desire to do so (I've stated my thoughts on this previously so I'll just leave it at that).

My current BF has no children at all, and we do just fine.
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Old 04-24-2010, 10:04 AM
 
530 posts, read 740,393 times
Reputation: 432
Something I have heard from those that choose to date or consider dating single parents is the fear of attachment to the child, if the relationship ends the parent is under no obligation to allow the ex to see the children. Just something I have heard from friends and such. Personally I am married but when single would not date a single parent simply b/c I am not into children.
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Old 04-24-2010, 03:14 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 40,033,442 times
Reputation: 42668
Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
Yes your own children will provide a richer experience, not someone elses lol. Hell, do you babysit for free because the "experience" is richer or do you expect payment for your labor? lol

I can just imagine being in one of those awkward moments when someone walks up to your family and says "gee golly....she looks just like you" and you respond"" ahem..*clears throat*...well...she's not really mines" lol.
No more awkward than when I have some extra kids in tow (my kids' friends or cousins) and am asked if they are all mine. A response to, "Aw, she looks just like you" is "It's funny how that worked out--she has a different dad" or "Thanks, but she's actually from Carrie's first marriage." If the person is just a stranger, who really cares anyway? You'd just say thanks or laugh (acknowledgment but not confirmation).

Being a stepparent is not shocking or awkward or bizarre. Believe it or not, most people are aware that they exist.
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Old 04-25-2010, 11:12 AM
 
930 posts, read 2,303,464 times
Reputation: 1000
Every one of you needs to spend a little time in Scottsdale. Home of the very hot single mom.

They have so many guys with no kids chasing after them it isn't even funny. Are the hot single mom's stupid enough to date them? Yes. Do they get hurt after getting banged a few times and then he moves on cuz he doesn't want to help raise Johnny? Yes.

Do they learn anything? No.
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Old 04-25-2010, 11:15 AM
 
Location: southern california
61,294 posts, read 82,141,479 times
Reputation: 55458
married or single kids are a liability.
same with a person with a house full of pit bulls.
please review EEOC rules, this is not discrimination this is free choice.
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