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I surprisingly LOVE being single. After spending all of my 20's and half of my 30's in some sort of relationship, i never gave myself a chance at being by myself. After close to 5yrs being single, i realize that i have never been better to myself, and more focused on my goals. I have clarity and I work everyday towards making myself happy. It's probably b/c i chose the wrong men who i allowed to stunt my growth and cloud my judgment.
Maybe now that i see that i've made bad choices, i won't make the same mistakes when i decide that i don't want to be single anymore.
I am 30 and I have no idea what I want out of life because I have always based my life's decisions on the presence of someone else. I have sacrified a lot for others. I feel constantly confused.
On the other hand due to my dependant nature I am one of those people who can't go too long without being in a relationship which makes it very hard. I need to feel loved and friends just don't cut it for me in that regard. I get into a relationship then wish a few years down the track that I had just stayed single.
I enjoy my own company, so being single is ok. When I can't live without someone, or just yearn for their company each and everyday, then I will be in a relationship again. I don't want to be in one, where I am not considered an equal partner. My last BF was older and thought he should be the one in charge. I don't need another daddy. He was only two years older, but he just thought he knew more than me. Now, I am going to make sure my next relationship is with a guy who wants me to be my own person not just an extension of him or eye candy.
I'm single and have been enjoying it, to my surprise.
What about you? It has its ups and downs. Some days I enjoy the single life and others I don't. If I see a couple arguing, I think to myself, why would anyone be in a relationship if it is arguing most of the time. Then again, not all couples are like that.
Then again, I see some really lovely couples with such awesome chemistry and it makes me say "I want what they have". I want to have someone to share my life with.
Do you feel like an oddball in this culture that celebrates Valentine's Day and gives tax breaks to couples? I mainly feel like an oddball in suburban Kansas because a lot of the people my age (young-mid 20s) are already in a serious relationship or have that certain someone.
As for V-Day, I hate it. I think it's overrated but I wouldn't mind having a decent date when I'm not single on the day.
Do you feel lonely and long for companionship? Sometimes but not always. I usually try to find something to distract me if I get lonely. I am a hopeless romantic and do wish I had that certain someone in my life from time to time.
What is the likelihood you'll be in a relationship or be married? I think in a couple of years I'll be settled down with a nice lady and possibly marrying soon after. Just depends on what happens in the next few months.
Are you the envy of your married friends? None of my friends are married. Some of them are in a relationship. Does it bother me? Not so much. I just hate it when a close friend of mine goes after the same girl
What do you hate about being single? Not being able to share my life with someone and not having any romantic relations with any females.
What do you love about it? Don't have to worry about a gal calling me and asking me where I am at 3am in the morning.
All in all, I think I'd rather be in a relationship. I know at 21 you're supposed to enjoy life and do what you enjoy.
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,031 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by NativeNYCer
I surprisingly LOVE being single. After spending all of my 20's and half of my 30's in some sort of relationship, i never gave myself a chance at being by myself. After close to 5yrs being single, i realize that i have never been better to myself, and more focused on my goals. I have clarity and I work everyday towards making myself happy. It's probably b/c i chose the wrong men who i allowed to stunt my growth and cloud my judgment.
Maybe now that i see that i've made bad choices, i won't make the same mistakes when i decide that i don't want to be single anymore.
I agree. Also, don't blame yourself so much for bad judgment, since NYC is very difficult place for women to be dating.
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,031 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0
I'm single and have been enjoying it, to my surprise.
What about you?
I am perpetually single. I have some problems that make it hard to date (especially in the environment I live in), but I hate it.
Do you feel like an oddball in this culture that celebrates Valentine's Day and gives tax breaks to couples? Not odd since there are so many other singles, but it's depressing.
Are you putting up with being single until you're in a relationship? at least once I would like to experiencehappiness with someone else- well for more than, one night.
Do you feel lonely and long for companionship? yes
What is the likelihood you'll be in a relationship or be married? my chances increase as I get farther from NYC, butI'll still probably be single unless I find a very rare man.
Are you the envy of your married friends? Don't have any married friends, I meet very few marrieds in NY; the ones I do meet don't act like they are married.
What do you hate about being single? no attention, romance, or sex
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,031 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Bananas
Then again, I see some really lovely couples with such awesome chemistry and it makes me say "I want what they have". I want to have someone to share my life with.
Do you feel like an oddball in this culture that celebrates Valentine's Day and gives tax breaks to couples? I mainly feel like an oddball in suburban Kansas because a lot of the people my age (young-mid 20s) are already in a serious relationship or have that certain someone.
This gave me an idea- another reason why as to why it's so impossible in NYC. Men feel *social pressure* to be in a relationship when they see happy couples around them. When you have such a singles culture and the value is placed on 'playing the field' (a euphemism for selfish behavior) over 'coupling up', they have less desire to do so....hmmm interesting
I have mixed feelings about my life as a single. I feel bad about being different from the majority of people my age who have been involved. But I do not want to be bossed around, controlled, cheated on, or be hurt in some other way. I know that I am not a good communicator, I hate being teased, too sensitive to criticism, intolerant of body piercings and tattoos. Narrows the field, doesn't it. I'm much more content as a single. See, with porn, you don't have to worry about all that nonsense. You pick what you like and enjoy it. Fear of intimacy, pregnancy, disease - no problem.
I'm single and have been enjoying it, to my surprise.
What about you?
More or less. At times I'd like someone to be with, but in general I figure I might as well take the hand I'm given and make the best of it
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0
Do you feel like an oddball in this culture that celebrates Valentine's Day and gives tax breaks to couples?
Not really. My girlfriends (who are all married or in long-term relationships) decided to make V-Day a perpetual "girls night". Their boys just have to get their celebrating out a different day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0
Do you feel lonely and long for companionship?
Sure, I love my life and would love to have someone to share it with at times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0
What is the likelihood you'll be in a relationship or be married?
I'm feeling a little pessimistic about that right now, so I don't think I'll answer...
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0
Are you the envy of your married friends?
For their husbands' sake, I hope not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0
What do you hate about being single?
I do get lonely from time-to-time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0
What do you love about it?
Can do what I want when I want, have the opportunity to be completely selfish and focus on my own interests and issues, not have to worry about how my decisions (for instance, moving) would affect someone else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225
I'd rather be single, than be in a relationship I'm not enthralled with. Does that answer the question?
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,031 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenneth70
See, with porn, you don't have to worry about all that nonsense. You pick what you like and enjoy it. Fear of intimacy, pregnancy, disease - no problem.
jeesus that's sad. Not only is it never real or satisfying, you'll never know what it is to be really *liked* To me, even if it sucks, whatever is real is better. Are you going to take the red pill or the blue pill, Neo?
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(a euphemism for selfish behavior) over 'coupling up', they have less desire to do so....hmmm
To me, even if it sucks, whatever is real is better. Are you going to take the red pill or the blue pill, Neo? 
