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Good post. I'll ALWAYS have a thing for black women. One thing I like is I never have to wonder what they're thinking.
I keep trying with them, even though a lot of them think the wrong things when I try. They have a defense against a white/Italian man. I feel they think I'm experimenting or something. The ones that know OF me, know I'm not into white women and DO take me seriously. It's that defense that is often the barrier for us other race guys.
Also, black women get a LOT of heat from the brothers for dating a white guy. If a black guy dates a white girl he's the man amongst his buddies. If a black woman dates a white guy, she's labeled a sell out among many in the black community. There's a lot of jealousy there that is often not talked about. Many black women just forgo even dealing with it.
This is a lot of nonsense. Let me tell you something, BW LOVE men of other races just as much as BM love women of other races. Usually BW are ultra defensive about it because they feel that non-BM are very judgemental about how they look, talk etc. They will have their guard up if they think you are negatively going to make obscure comments about their hair, physique, skin color and features. But trust me, the Jon B's of the world who have acculturated themselves to appear as if they were BM themselves and give off the non-verbal innuendos that they are attracted to BW, have NO problem whatsoever. If they have that "swag" they will get them in droves. As a matter of fact, they have it easier than the average BM.
And this idea that BW get a lot of "heat" is simply false. In black popular culture; dating, marrying and preferring WW is nearly a sin. If you're a black guy who was ever an athlete, a working professional or a half way decent guy, then you know what I am talking about. If you're with a WW, a lot of people will see you as a typical BM with a sex toy,and arm trophy and not much else. In many people's minds it insinuates that you hate BW, hate your mothers, sisters, Oprah, Whoopi, Sojouner Truth and that you've been brainwashed by eurocentric beauty standards and want to fit in with white people to get away from black people. None of this comes to mind when BW date interracially, none of it. When it comes to BW dating IR, it's usually contingent on the idea that something is legitamitely wrong with BM and therefore dating IR is a practical, viable, and sensical option. No one really looks down on it.
This is a lot of nonsense. Let me tell you something, BW LOVE men of other races just as much as BM love women of other races. Usually BW are ultra defensive about it because they feel that non-BM are very judgemental about how they look, talk etc. They will have their guard up if they think you are negatively going to make obscure comments about their hair, physique, skin color and features. But trust me, the Jon B's of the world who have acculturated themselves to appear as if they were BM themselves and give off the non-verbal innuendos that they are attracted to BW, have NO problem whatsoever. If they have that "swag" they will get them in droves. As a matter of fact, they have it easier than the average BM.
And this idea that BW get a lot of "heat" is simply false. In black popular culture; dating, marrying and preferring WW is nearly a sin. If you're a black guy who was ever an athlete, a working professional or a half way decent guy, then you know what I am talking about. If you're with a WW, a lot of people will see you as a typical BM with a sex toy,and arm trophy and not much else. In many people's minds it insinuates that you hate BW, hate your mothers, sisters, Oprah, Whoopi, Sojouner Truth and that you've been brainwashed by eurocentric beauty standards and want to fit in with white people to get away from black people. None of this comes to mind when BW date interracially, none of it. When it comes to BW dating IR, it's usually contingent on the idea that something is legitamitely wrong with BM and therefore dating IR is a practical, viable, and sensical option. No one really looks down on it.
I think we need to move past these negative stereotypes. Yes, they do exist, but we give power to them, when we let them control our lives. Date whomever you wish. If you like/love that person, that's what matters; not the random stares and/or whispers from strangers.
On another note, I think it's great that more and more black women (especially teens/20 somethings) are now starting to date men of every color/hue/racial background.
In 2000, the census data showed that 10% of all married black men are with non black women, while only 3% of married black women were with non black men. In 2010, I'm certain the numbers will double for black women.
This is a lot of nonsense. Let me tell you something, BW LOVE men of other races just as much as BM love women of other races. Usually BW are ultra defensive about it because they feel that non-BM are very judgemental about how they look, talk etc. They will have their guard up if they think you are negatively going to make obscure comments about their hair, physique, skin color and features. But trust me, the Jon B's of the world who have acculturated themselves to appear as if they were BM themselves and give off the non-verbal innuendos that they are attracted to BW, have NO problem whatsoever. If they have that "swag" they will get them in droves. As a matter of fact, they have it easier than the average BM.
And this idea that BW get a lot of "heat" is simply false. In black popular culture; dating, marrying and preferring WW is nearly a sin. If you're a black guy who was ever an athlete, a working professional or a half way decent guy, then you know what I am talking about. If you're with a WW, a lot of people will see you as a typical BM with a sex toy,and arm trophy and not much else. In many people's minds it insinuates that you hate BW, hate your mothers, sisters, Oprah, Whoopi, Sojouner Truth and that you've been brainwashed by eurocentric beauty standards and want to fit in with white people to get away from black people. None of this comes to mind when BW date interracially, none of it. When it comes to BW dating IR, it's usually contingent on the idea that something is legitamitely wrong with BM and therefore dating IR is a practical, viable, and sensical option. No one really looks down on it.
Lol.
Happened to me recently.
To make a long story short some of the sisters i work with saw me out with
another coworker(who works at the office the next city over) who happens to be white.
Ever since then they have called me 'oreo' and 'Clarence Thomas' on a regular basis.
I could care less so I laughed it off. A couple made the comment that in almost 9 years i worked there I never tried to hit on anyone.
And that the person I ended up with had to be a 'insert derogatory racist name here.' And how she needs to be with her own kind.
The messed up thing is that she still talks to some of them and they act like nothing is amiss.
I think we need to move past these negative stereotypes. Yes, they do exist, but we give power to them, when we let them control our lives. Date whomever you wish. If you like/love that person, that's what matters; not the random stares and/or whispers from strangers.
On another note, I think it's great that more and more black women (especially teens/20 somethings) are now starting to date men of every color/hue/racial background.
In 2000, the census data showed that 10% of all married black men are with non black women, while only 3% of married black women were with non black men. In 2010, I'm certain the numbers will double for black women.
Some TV character said that everyone needs to intermarry so that there will be only one race and we will all be beige.
I am paraphrasing but I found it to be a funny and interesting comment.
Some TV character said that everyone needs to intermarry so that there will be only one race and we will all be beige.
I am paraphrasing but I found it to be a funny and interesting comment.
I tend to like the color contrast between myself (I'm brown) and a light skin black, Hispanic or white guy.
First I want to say thanks for posting the video so we at least could see the women in question. Physically there didn't look like there was anything wrong with them. They were attractive, so we can eliminate lack of looks from the equation.
Well one girl was talking about her standards used to include dating guys that were 6'5" and above! Okay she was probably exagerrating but she probably had plenty of 5'10" guys talking to her but she was too good for them.
The high school counselor was a joke. I mean its an okay job but I wouldn't be strutting around talking about how I can't find a man that was up to my standards if that's what I did. In my field salaries dwarf those of high school counselers so it would be a big turn off if we were at dinner and she started acting like God's gift to man. As I've said in previous posts, women habitually overestimate their worth.
Another good thing about them showing these women was that we could see they were all attratice... the overwhelming majority of African American women are overweight or obese. Where as African American men are one of the groups in society with the lowest incidence of being overweight or obese. That little statistic wasn't rattled off when they were telling us how many black men drop out of high school or are incarcerated. They cherry picked some of the most attractive educated black women they could find and held them up as an example of the average black woman. These women are better than the average woman of ANY race. And of course the only thing they had to say about black men is they are high school drop outs and in prison.
When they were showing the idiotic grown woman prancing around in her cheerleader outfit why didn't they open up the wide angle lens and show the millionaire African American men behind her? How come they haven't done a story about the plight of millionaire African American football players who can't find equals and must settle for African American woman who don't have millions?
I tend to like the color contrast between myself (I'm brown) and a light skin black, Hispanic or white guy.
That is an interesting situation.
i have been there myself with women of other nationalities.
Its funny.
My cousin looks like a dark skinned Choctaw, and she prefers Hispanic and Asian men.
The Asian might be my fault because I trained her to fight ever since she was little.
Taking her to seminars with me and all that.
Wanted her to be able to defend against us bad bad men.
Another good thing about them showing these women was that we could see they were all attratice... the overwhelming majority of African American women are overweight or obese. Where as African American men are one of the groups in society with the lowest incidence of being overweight or obese. That little statistic wasn't rattled off when they were telling us how many black men drop out of high school or are incarcerated. They cherry picked some of the most attractive educated black women they could find and held them up as an example of the average black woman. These women are better than the average woman of ANY race. And of course the only thing they had to say about black men is they are high school drop outs and in prison.
When they were showing the idiotic grown woman prancing around in her cheerleader outfit why didn't they open up the wide angle lens and show the millionaire African American men behind her? How come they haven't done a story about the plight of millionaire African American football players who can't find equals and must settle for African American woman who don't have millions?
A man is judged differently by societal standards. Established men do not care about the income of the woman that he's dating, because he already has his own, and the ability to provide for her as well, so how much she makes is totally irrelevant. Usually, what he will care about is how she looks.
The video was about "educated/professional single black women," meaning they are specifically looking at this segment of the population, not all black women. The majority of educated/professional black women tend to be physically fit and into maintaining a healthy weight. Sure you will find some obese educated black women, but it's not the norm. Generally speaking, the mannerisms and lifestyle of educated/professional people of all races tend to be very similar.
That is an interesting situation.
i have been there myself with women of other nationalities.
Its funny.
My cousin looks like a dark skinned Choctaw, and she prefers Hispanic and Asian men.
The Asian might be my fault because I trained her to fight ever since she was little.
Taking her to seminars with me and all that.
Wanted her to be able to defend against us bad bad men.
A number of dark/brown black guys prefer women that are lighter. I'm sure this doesn't mean that they wouldn't date a dark woman, it just means that their preference is for lighter complexions. It's funny but every guy that I have ever dated would be classified as fair in complexion.
Here is a video of Harold Ford Jr. (just to give you an idea of what I like).
A man is judged differently by societal standards. Established men do not care about the income of the woman that he's dating, because he already has his own, and the ability to provide for her as well, so how much she makes is totally irrelevant. Usually, what he will care about is how she looks.
The video was about "educated/professional single black women," meaning they are specifically looking at this segment of the population, not all black women. The majority of educated/professional black women tend to be physically fit and into maintaining a healthy weight. Sure you will find some obese educated black women, but it's not the norm. Generally speaking, the mannerisms and lifestyle of educated/professional people of all races tend to be very similar.
Wow... wow. I'm blown away. Are you seriously in the process of finding a mate for marriage with this idea in your head? Let me give you a bit of information. Moderator cut: snip And you know what? There is no way I would ever marry them. Looks matter... boy do they matter, but if you think looks eclipse everything else you are going to be in for a rough go of it.
Honey if we "established men" don't care about a woman's income... why do I remeber my friends prenup fight with his wife like it was yesterday? Trust me we care. Problem is there aren't enough of you making serious bank. So we take what we can get.
Anyway I don't know how much modelling you do in New York, but a very well educated model, exgirlfriend of mine would speak of all the "established men" that surrounded the runway. She would never go out with them because they wanted exactly what you are selling. She wanted a man that would like her looks but respect her for her mind. By the way she has a better education than all the girls in that clip combined. She's older than a chunk of them. She is blond... and she is single. Curiosly she does not blame black men for her relationship status.
Last edited by wigirl920; 05-08-2010 at 02:27 PM..
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What a hatchet job
