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Has this ever happened to you before with other women? Did you rub one off shortly before being with her?
Could be her lack of foreplay and reciprocation just wasn't enough to get you fired up on all jets. That and your nervousness (what were you nervous about...not being good enough, big enough, lasting long enough???) could have caused your situation to go limp. Is it the condom thing that's throwing you off?
Well, the title pretty much gives this one away. I've been dating a certain lady for the past couple months, during which time I could see things building up to eventual sex. Well, the other night, she invites me over very late. I wasn't really thinking anything of it because of the circumstances that preceded it. Soon as I got there, she comes out from behind the door to reveal herself completely naked. We start making out vigorously, she leads me to the bed, I'm quite nervous at this point, and BOOM nothing. He wasn't moving. OK, we got over that one.
Fast forward a couple days. I figured hey, she had a rough week, why not get her some massage oil and massage her legs (she's a runner). Well, I figured it would lead to something, which is what I thought I wanted. It lead to something, and all cylinders were firing up until the point where she asked me to go get my condom, at which point I completely lost it. And it wasn't coming back. Disappointed and frustrated, she turned a bit indifferent and just detached herself. Threw her clothes back on and got ready to sleep. I never felt so embarrassed, never wanted so badly to just crawl into a hole. I couldn't leave since the arrangement had already been made for me to sleep there. So I lay there restless while she went to sleep. That was the most uncomfortable thing ever. She did give it one more try later in the night but Johnson was not moving. The next morning she felt distant. I know what the morning after a night of good sex is like; this was like the complete opposite.
About me, I'm 27, and I consider myself to be healthy. I'm not on medication, I wasn't under the influence of alcohol. I'm attracted to her and I do want her, there's just no way to prove it. I understand that these things happen, my fear is that she will lose her desire for me if she believes that each time she puts herself out there physically, I wont be able to measure up. Has this ever happened to any of you? How did you move on from it? Females, how do you respond when something like this happens?
Well, professor, I imagine it was either nerves or you just aren't ready to take it to the next level (or even want to). Do you really like her? It sounds like you have no problem getting started but when it comes down to the "moment" you can't stay at attention.
Speaking as a woman, I can understand her frustration. A woman wants to feel desired by a man and nothing brings that point home more than sex. So by you not performing says you don't want her or aren't turned on by her. You could have salvaged the situation and insisted on pleasuring her in other ways. Only you can answer why you didn't act upon it.
If you really want to have sex with her then quit overthinking it. Even if you have to close your eyes and just rely on the sensations of touch. Clear your mind and let things happen. Good luck...
This has happened to 99% of men and those who say it hasn't are either inexperienced or lying. From your post it sounds like it was anxiety causing it.
Hmm...I wonder if it has something to do with your physical health. If not, then I have couple of thoughts:
You are just not as hot for her as you would like to think. Although I'm not in your head or in your heart, but it's hard for me to believe that you really want her. I don't need to tell you, when a man really wants a woman, just the sight of her, just her smell, her touch can make him go up like a rocket. He doesn't even need to make out with her for him to have an erection.
Another thing that is slightly confusing is why did you let her just fall asleep? You should have continued trying, saying things like..."no, no, no, I really want you, come on, let's continue"...You should have gone down on her and have her go down on you. She probably needs direction still.
I had never found myself in her situation, but I could imagine how embarrassed I would have felt if I was her. To make matters worse, from your post, it doesn't look like you did anything to improve the situation.
But hey, you live you learn.
While what you're saying is plausible (about me not wanting her), its not the case. I do really want her, but when nerves get in the way, how else could I prove it beyond just saying it? She has aroused me several times before and wasn't even aware. When she put her clothes back on, you have to understand how that made me feel. I understand her frustration, but I am a guy, and my ego is fragile. I felt embarrassed. And she throws her clothes on almost like a barrier, a sign to just leave her alone. I'm not going to try to force her to take her clothes back off.
Also, I'd like to add that she's 31. And also, I know its not a health issue. It's just psychological. I may have been putting too much on this and, yes, overthinking it.
Hopefully there will be a next time. I can't see her opening herself to potential frustration too many times longer.
While what you're saying is plausible (about me not wanting her), its not the case. I do really want her, but when nerves get in the way, how else could I prove it beyond just saying it? She has aroused me several times before and wasn't even aware. When she put her clothes back on, you have to understand how that made me feel. I understand her frustration, but I am a guy, and my ego is fragile. I felt embarrassed. And she throws her clothes on almost like a barrier, a sign to just leave her alone. I'm not going to try to force her to take her clothes back off.
Imagine how she felt. Just look at the hundreds of posts on this forum where men talk about women's bodies and how much they love sex and on and on and on. Then to have a man not even get/stay excited by you....talk about fragile ego. Women are put to a much higher standard of body image, sexuality, etc. and when we you don't respond it hurts our feelings.....much more than yours.
I hope you get the opportunity to get together again. Please try to relax, not overthink, don't even think about all of the things you have said here. Just go with the flow, feelings, touches, kisses.......
Also, I'd like to add that she's 31. And also, I know its not a health issue. It's just psychological. I may have been putting too much on this and, yes, overthinking it.
Hopefully there will be a next time. I can't see her opening herself to potential frustration too many times longer.
Hmmm.....I think you are going about sex wrong. You need to get hot and heavy, heavy petting please each other, and when you feel "it pop up" but the darn thing on...and tell her now...and be a man and go to it!
And not to sound awful ,but maybe you need a few drinks to ease your anxiety.
if a dood is having trouble getting it up he doesnt want to drink
silly female
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. Has this ever happened to any of you? How did you move on from it? Females, how do you respond when something like this happens?
Women are put to a much higher standard of body image, sexuality, etc. and when we you don't respond it hurts our feelings.....much more than yours.
