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So what's the time limit on dating?? It seems to me that insecure women are in a rush to lock a man down cause they feel that as time passes their chance may pass. I am not ready to walk down the aisle. If it aint broke don't fix it. He is here because he wants to be, not because a piece of paper makes it more convenient for him to be. As far as the money goes, we agreed that we wouldn't take vows until each of us has paid down our school debt, so...... I am not worried about marriage, a piece a paper can't keep a man. I am concerned with the marriage state of mind, you don't need a wedding for that. But thanks though....
If that makes you feel better, so be it.
Studies have been done that show there is a switch that flips when a man gets married - one that is not turned on (or perhaps not as strong) when he's just dating or cohabitating.
There are a lot of unmarried baby mommas who have been in your position.
What does anyone else have to do with my relationship with my man??? Side from the fact that I am asking for advice from everyone else??? I don't care about the way other people treat me, the question was about my relationship with my man!!! I care about how he treats me. Can you read?? Its ok, my friends' 8 month old can't read either.
You asked about a BLACK relationship as though it's different than any other relationship so I'm pointing out to you that being BLACK has nothing to do with whether or not your relationship succeeds or fails. If you don't want people to comment on a BLACK relationship you shouldn't ask about how to sustain healthy BLACK relationship, you should ask how to sustain a healthy relationship, period and THAT'S the answer you will get.
Quite frankly, if you haven't figured out how to have a HEALTHY relationship in SEVEN years, no one here can help you.
I am 29 and I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. We have a pretty good relationship, I am just interested in how to keep it healthy and happy. I am particularly interested in what other black men have to say but appreciate all input. What are some complaints that black men have with black women?? What are some warning signs to look for if things start to go awry??
We are planning to get married when we can afford it, needless to say its not at the top of our list.
Thanks.
I read the OP and absolutely NOTHING else in this post.
I am a white male, age 42, middle-middle class, military and lower-income farming background.
Just letting you know this is NOT a black man's opinion since you stated that's what you're really interested in.
You make black people a mystery to me. I go through life knowing there are some cultural differences here and there but thinking surely to God that has more to do with where one grows up than with anything to do with RACE.
So whether a black man is from the inner city (which would lend a certain flavor to his personality, just as it would with a white person, as opposed to other black or white people)...
...or from the rural South (again, black or white, there will be certain subtleties or nuances which will vary according to how they grow up)...
...or from the industrial North...
...or the wilds of the Canadian bush...
...or from the Golden West...
...I strongly suspect that black men want from a black woman what MEN want from WOMEN, which is a cooperative partner who enjoys us and allows us to enjoy them.
That's as basic as it gets and everything else (I do mean EVERYTHING) varies according to the person.
I base this on my experience with black people, which I find correlates amazingly to my experience with people of any colour, which is to say:
SOME of you are absolutely AMAZING and some of you are just unbelievable arse-holes.
I suggest you worry less about what "black men" want out of you and spend more time figuring out what YOU want out of a partner. It will help you narrow down your search quite a lot.
I read the OP and absolutely NOTHING else in this post.
I am a white male, age 42, middle-middle class, military and lower-income farming background.
Just letting you know this is NOT a black man's opinion since you stated that's what you're really interested in.
You make black people a mystery to me. I go through life knowing there are some cultural differences here and there but thinking surely to God that has more to do with where one grows up than with anything to do with RACE.
So whether a black man is from the inner city (which would lend a certain flavor to his personality, just as it would with a white person, as opposed to other black or white people)...
...or from the rural South (again, black or white, there will be certain subtleties or nuances which will vary according to how they grow up)...
...or from the industrial North...
...or the wilds of the Canadian bush...
...or from the Golden West...
...I strongly suspect that black men want from a black woman what MEN want from WOMEN, which is a cooperative partner who enjoys us and allows us to enjoy them.
That's as basic as it gets and everything else (I do mean EVERYTHING) varies according to the person.
I base this on my experience with black people, which I find correlates amazingly to my experience with people of any colour, which is to say:
SOME of you are absolutely AMAZING and some of you are just unbelievable arse-holes.
I suggest you worry less about what "black men" want out of you and spend more time figuring out what YOU want out of a partner. It will help you narrow down your search quite a lot.
I read the first sentence and absolutely nothing else in this post.
You asked about a BLACK relationship as though it's different than any other relationship so I'm pointing out to you that being BLACK has nothing to do with whether or not your relationship succeeds or fails. If you don't want people to comment on a BLACK relationship you shouldn't ask about how to sustain healthy BLACK relationship, you should ask how to sustain a healthy relationship, period and THAT'S the answer you will get.
Quite frankly, if you haven't figured out how to have a HEALTHY relationship in SEVEN years, no one here can help you.
What are you talking about?? Do you even know?? SMDH...
Studies have been done that show there is a switch that flips when a man gets married - one that is not turned on (or perhaps not as strong) when he's just dating or cohabitating.
There are a lot of unmarried baby mommas who have been in your position.
I am sorry that you are a baby momma, I'm sure that's why you are so sure of yourself. I appreciate your advice.
Location: Partisanship Is An Intellectual/Emotional Handicap
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hippy4m3
I am 29 and I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. We have a pretty good relationship, I am just interested in how to keep it healthy and happy. I am particularly interested in what other black men have to say but appreciate all input. What are some complaints that black men have with black women?? What are some warning signs to look for if things start to go awry??
We are planning to get married when we can afford it, needless to say its not at the top of our list.
Thanks.
May I ask why there needs to be a specific 'Black" designation, to this question?
I mean.....men....women.......women....men.........i sn't that what it's all about?
How is a "Black" relationship any different than a White, Hispanic or whatever race relationship?
Is there a special 'Black" Relationship nuance I'm not aware of? Is there a Handbook for it? You know, like ........" Black Relationships For Dummies ..." or something?
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