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The Traveler is pretty much correct. Who cares if people don't engage you? Just be happy with yourself and keep putting yourself in social situations where you are comfortable and the situation doesn't feel forced. If you are enjoying yourself and are happy in the situation, others will be as well.
Every time I'm with a group of people at parties, luncheons, dinners, banquets and other group settings, I try to be social with people and join a conversation, but more often than not, I always end up the quiet one.
I go up to one person or a group of people and we have a conversation, only for it to end so quickly. It's like people reject me after such a very short time. This has happened to me many times.
When I'm in a group of people and we're having a conversation, I try to join in, but sometimes when I say something, no one listens or others ignore me. Sometimes when I join in, they'll listen and maybe respond. I listen to the conversation and try to come up with what to say, but most people seem to keep me shut out.
This also happens with family gatherings.
I've joined Meetup groups, and nothing has helped. Also, being a soon-to-be college graduate, I've been involved in on-campus clubs and organizations.
I've tried hard, but I also keep encouraging myself not to give up. I'm tired of always being the quiet one.
I'm never the quit one. I am always at the front of the huddle and in the conversation. People depend on your knowledge to either help them with answering questions or actually fixing their busted s***!LMAO...........
I constantly find myself being the silent one, specifically in large conversations. And I'm not trying to make excuses for it, but after years with dealing with a social environment where people are very cliquey and judgmental, critical and fearful of anyone not exactly like them, weary of those who try to initiate conversations in social settings, and other factors that I won't get into, I'm finding myself fighting to not socially withdraw from the world. I really want to get better, and I don't want to have to wait until I move to a more socially laid-back place in order to open up again. But when I consistently see the self-absored attitudes and "back off" looks that permeate, a huge part of me says "what's the use," making me socially withdraw and become rather indifferent about going out to social events especially by myself, considering how this city is notoriously known for "who you know."
And after dealing with cliquish and unapproachable people, when I come across a person who's more friendly and laid back, I'm so disallusioned by it (in a good way) that I don't believe some people are still openly social and hence don't really take the steps to finalize a connection (getting a phone number, etc).
Apologize about the digression, but I just find my constant experiences as a reason I'm more quiet in conversations and hence get overlooked.
Every time I'm with a group of people at parties, luncheons, dinners, banquets and other group settings, I try to be social with people and join a conversation, but more often than not, I always end up the quiet one.
I go up to one person or a group of people and we have a conversation, only for it to end so quickly. It's like people reject me after such a very short time. This has happened to me many times.
When I'm in a group of people and we're having a conversation, I try to join in, but sometimes when I say something, no one listens or others ignore me. Sometimes when I join in, they'll listen and maybe respond. I listen to the conversation and try to come up with what to say, but most people seem to keep me shut out.
This also happens with family gatherings.
I've joined Meetup groups, and nothing has helped. Also, being a soon-to-be college graduate, I've been involved in on-campus clubs and organizations.
I've tried hard, but I also keep encouraging myself not to give up. I'm tired of always being the quiet one.
You may be TRYING too hard. Let it happen naturally. Just don't try and just be the person you are when you are alone... Maybe even mix it up a bit and use the George Costanza approach and do the opposite of every inclination you might naturally have. See what happens. The old way of doing things hasnt worked up to now, right.?
You may be TRYING too hard. Let it happen naturally. Just don't try and just be the person you are when you are alone... Maybe even mix it up a bit and use the George Costanza approach and do the opposite of every inclination you might naturally have. See what happens. The old way of doing things hasnt worked up to now, right.?
This would be my advice, too. Try a different approach and I bet you'll see a different type of response
Every time I'm with a group of people at parties, luncheons, dinners, banquets and other group settings, I try to be social with people and join a conversation, but more often than not, I always end up the quiet one.
I go up to one person or a group of people and we have a conversation, only for it to end so quickly. It's like people reject me after such a very short time. This has happened to me many times.
When I'm in a group of people and we're having a conversation, I try to join in, but sometimes when I say something, no one listens or others ignore me. Sometimes when I join in, they'll listen and maybe respond. I listen to the conversation and try to come up with what to say, but most people seem to keep me shut out.
This also happens with family gatherings.
I've joined Meetup groups, and nothing has helped. Also, being a soon-to-be college graduate, I've been involved in on-campus clubs and organizations.
I've tried hard, but I also keep encouraging myself not to give up. I'm tired of always being the quiet one.
You need to read a book called: How to Negotiate Anything with Anyone Anywhere Around the World by Frank L. Acuff.
Anyhow, when you are dealing with Americans, and you are dealing with Americans in a social setting, in order to be heard, you need to speak up loud, be aggressive and assertive, and look people square in the eyes. Basically you need to dominate people in order to be taken seriously and have your request heard by Americans.
You need to read a book called: How to Negotiate Anything with Anyone Anywhere Around the World by Frank L. Acuff.
Anyhow, when you are dealing with Americans, and you are dealing with Americans in a social setting, in order to be heard, you need to be speak up loud, be aggressive and assertive, and look people square in the eyes.
Basically you need to dominate people in order to be taken seriously and have your request heard.
Nah, I disagree with the part I bolded A certain (small) level of aggressiveness can be helpful, but trying to purposely dominate a conversation will make you look like an idiot. Not only will people not include you in future convos, they'll go running the other way when they see you coming
Now looking people square in the eyes...which shows confidence...that's something I'll agree with ya on, Morph
I find Pro football to be EXTREMELY boring (college football I enjoy sometimes). I can't stand any aspect of the game. Despite this, back in high school, I would try perfusly(sp?) to engage my other male peers in conversation about football, because that is what they liked to talk about. I would make up stories, or pretend like a watched last weeks game just so that I could be a part of what they are talking about. WRONG MOVE! They always catch on to that type of behavior, and it just hurts your chances of being talked to more.
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Ha ha, yea I know about that... To be honest though, when guys come up to me and be like; "did you see the game!" I'm like, "F%%%K football, them dudes don't pay my bills!"....
Seriously, I think it's border line psychotic that guys spend so much time idolizing other guys who don't do $$$$T for them and would proly bang their girls/wives given the slightest chance.
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