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I know several couples of mixed religious (or non-religious) backgrounds. All of these couples are very happy:
- One of my closest friends is a devout Lutheran and is married to a Humanist.
- My brother is Presbyterian and married to a Catholic. Each is active in his/her own church but also attends worship at the other's church sometimes. They raised their two sons in both churches. One son is now a member of the Episcopal church and the other is noncommital to any particular denomination.
- A good friend from my own church (Presbyterian) has been married to an agnostic for nearly 30 years. My friend is very active in our church as a deacon and committee member, and her husband does not give her a hard time about the time she spends on church-related activities. Her husband respects her devotion. Hubby attends fellowship events at the church with her, but has never attended worship. They make it work.
- Another of my friends was raised by a Catholic mother and a Jewish father. My friend is now a Presbyterian minister! She brings wonderful insight and traditions into the worship experience and is a fount of knowlege and understanding. She is married to a Catholic.
There are more, but I suspect you get the picture. If there is mutual respect, a couple in love, though of different or no faith backgrounds, can have a successful relationship/marriage. That respect, however, necessarily includes NOT inflicting one's beliefs on the other if it is not welcomed.
As for me, I am very active in my church and have a deep faith and close relationship with God. However, if I cared for a man who had different beliefs from mine, or no belief at all, that would not, in and of itself, be a deal breaker for me. I do not feel threatened by people who believe differently than I.
Would you marry someone who didn't share your same Religion or Spiritual beliefs?
Any stories/experiences of couples who have made it work?
When I was younger, I told myself I could overlook religious differences. These days, I know that faith and spirituality are too big a part of who a person is. Part of making a relationship last is feeling like you understand the other person, even if you don't agree with them. That's why I'd never marry someone who wasn't on the same page as me. I'd feel like I don't really understand them and they wouldn't understand me.
It really depends on how important your religion (or lack thereof) is to you. For me, as a Christian, my faith is VERY important to me -- the most important thing about me in fact. I can't have a life partner who disagrees with / doesn't care about the most important thing in my life. I actually had a serious relationship with an agnostic before and our different world views was always an issue for us and the reason we ultimately broke up. Now I am married to a wonderful Christian man who doesn't merely tolerate my beliefs but shares them, which has been such a blessing to me.
My first thought when considering this was that I, being an a theist, could easily get along with someone who believes in a god but isn't overly zealous about it. But even though I don't believe, I enjoy discussing religious and philosophical topics, and someone who was unenthusiastic about their religion may not care to have discussions like that. There's a good chance they'd never given the subject much thought one way or the other. Which is fine, but doesn't lend well to conversations about that topic. It's a minor issue overall, but an issue nonetheless. On the other hand, I'm quite confident I couldn't marry a zealous fundamentalist Christian or Muslim, or perhaps a zealot of any configuration. It's usually difficult to have a meaningful, mature discussion with people like that when the two of you hold opposing views.
So I think the two best options for me would be:
1. An atheist/agnostic who enjoys discussing the topic. Preferably one who doesn't agree with me on every detail.
2. Someone who believes in a god and has given it some serious though, but doesn't find organized religion appealing.
I think one of those two options would be my best bet, although I'd be open to others I haven't thought of. After all, people vary drastically.
It really depends on the person. I can tolerate some religious people as long as they keep it to themselves and not try to push it on me. However, when it comes to marriage and having kids, there would have to be some serious discussion beforehand on how to handle it. I feel that it is very important for parents to be on the same page with major issues that come up in parenting. A lot of times it's not the spouse that's problematic, but the in-laws can be a real pain to deal with.
Since kids are not in the cards for me, no need to worry how they wil be raised.
I could go either way - religious or not. I have atheist friends and religious friends alike and neither give me cause to think poorly of their choices.
I'm somewhere in the middle, a believer, but not a practicer. I don't talk much about religion, don't care to share my views, and I don't really want to hear anyone else's.
I think the only thing that would give me pause is a lifestyle, as opposed to belief. Certain religions are very restrictive which can lead to a certain way of life that I would not appreciate. If that were the case, then, yeah, that would not happen.
Would you marry someone who didn't share your same Religion or Spiritual beliefs?
Any stories/experiences of couples who have made it work?
Yes, I would not even be engaged to somebody who has a problem with my core beliefs. It's too much of a strain on the relationship. Life is too short. I'd just keep it friendly.
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