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I contributed to your thread asking if you should reveal to the BF your parents were feigning there approval of him bc of papers to get back in the US.
Seems to be some sort of crusade your on, come to terms with meeting all kinds of ppl, whose thinking and integrity might be questionable. I can relate to the disdain, why would you fixate and give this much energy for nothing? You need to find a balance and discern whats important and when to let go, this is abnormal. Why let these ppl change who you are?
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Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol
I used to be like that before. I realized there's this change in me and it's negative.
It seems many people like to take advantage of you when they see you all forgiving and sweet-nature. That's the case most of the times. Sometimes the more soft you become the worst.
Part of me wants to revert back to the way I was (was more innocent then) and if I keep up with this mindset, I fear I might end up hurting even a loved one. I hurt my boyfriend in the ''getting back'' process but seems like there's no way on how to stop this from spreading.
Agreed with everyone posted above. Someone said it already, but the "best revenge is living well." This does not mean you should shove personal success in another person's face, but rather that you live your life while not under your ex's physical or emotional control. You cannot move on if you are obsessing about revenge. You have to channel that energy into living your own life, great things can happen for you.
I think it's completely natural to experience anger after a bad relationship.....even thinking bad thoughts during the anger phase is normal....but you have to progress beyond that, and most certainly should never act on them! Acknowledge the feelings, and figure out why you feel them....to what extent are you angry at him, and to what extent are you angry at yourself? Therapy can help greatly in this department. Trust me when I say that it's freeing when you move beyond anger....he no longer has any power over you once you do so. If karma later bites him in the butt, it's fine to smile at that, but not relish in his suffering, if that makes any sense.
I contributed to your thread asking if you should reveal to the BF your parents were feigning there approval of him bc of papers to get back in the US.
Seems to be some sort of crusade your on, come to terms with meeting all kinds of ppl, whose thinking and integrity might be questionable. I can relate to the disdain, why would you fixate and give this much energy for nothing? You need to find a balance and discern whats important and when to let go, this is abnormal. Why let these ppl change who you are?
I can't reveal that to my b/f because it'll ruin everything... even our relationship. We both did stupid things (never cheated, however but other things can hurt you too) and wouldn't want to bring it back to ground zero again.
Now when I was referring to my boyfriend as an example (going a bit off topic), it was my way of showing how far I went with the ''I got back at you, I won and you lost'' revenge. However, I did regretted doing that to him but it's my anger that got on the way (it's like an impulse you sometimes can't control). I don't want to hurt him again so I'm now controlling myself if I get angry at him.
Now as far as the online dude and charges being filed... seriously how often do you hear about a man pressing charges due to stalking/harassment or defamation against us?
I did got over it. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend again... like that. That's why I'm controlling myself with him if I get angry over something. I realized I can't be hurting someone I love.
However, it's different with a total stranger, casual friend, co-worker, etc.
Sunflower, if you give in to this unhealthy desire for revenge, it could come back to slap you in the face. Even if you are "successful" in executing some kind of payback, the fact that you are asking advice here says that you are conflicted about actually giving in to your rage. Just know that if you do something to him, sooner or later you will regret it. Let it go and get on with life.
Seriously? Do really want this to consume you? Hell of a way to spend your time.
I think she either publicly or secretly thinks it's fun.
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get over it.
