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Old 05-01-2010, 11:37 AM
 
2 posts, read 4,115 times
Reputation: 13

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First of all, i'm new so hi!

But here's the story. Im a college girl thats about 20 years of age. I went through a rough 2 year relationship a while ago and have been single since. (Btw this was my first bf.). It was hard to move on but i did it even though it was rough. I'm usually a very independent women, I rely on only myself a lot. I know a fair amount of men ask me out, but i'm usually never interested in it. Until i met "D" (i'll use his initial) I was dating one guy and D was just a friend of his. But when D walked through the door, i didn't even have to look into his eyes yet. I felt a odd connection. (Seriously weirded me out.) And when we did meet eyes it was stronger. (weirded both of us out more) Sadly i never saw him again since i stopped dating his friend. 8 or 9 months go by and we see eachother again. Same thing, when we met eyes we just stopped in our tracks. Eventually we began to date and he gave everything he had, i never let myself show too much like for a boy. Hard to get?- anyway, he talked about soul mates and was interested in my life. When i went through a rough time with family i'd sleep in my car and he'd come out to protect me.

But right now, its going all wrong. Because of the ex- his ex in fact. they have been off and on for 5 years. very unhealthy relationship. But because they are first love, its really rough for him to understand that its just become an attachment he should remove himself from. She's cheated. Shes psychopathic. Shes suicidal. Shes very sensitive like that and nuts! His ex- "P" was dating some boy i knew in high school before i started dating D. But one day P saw us in his car and she went CRAZY! she kicked the boy she was dating out of her car. She went to the liquor store and bought a case of mikes hard lemonade, drank ALL of it and 3 bottles of cough syrup, then she wandered around his house til he came home to beg for him back. buy this time me and D were official, and everything was going great. But this wasnt the only thing she's done. She calls D's mom all the time to check up on him, all of D's friends tell me that she's threatened all of his friends before.

Because of her crazyness- me and D decided to put us on hold til he gets her away. But can i trust that? I did trust him about other times she's come, but fellow workers told me that hes been a committed guy to me, when P comes around his work he tries to avoid her kisses and constant begging. I am entirely upset about this as you can see. I want to be his new beginning and show him how a real relationship should be.

So oddly suddenly he turns off his phone, and "J" the guy P was dating and used started to text me to stay away and that D and P have been sleeping together and stuff. I didnt believe for a while. But since i was scared i would go to all of D's friends to find support, and they did. But they also told me to go find him. So i did. they were gonna try to work things out he told me. But i asked for a moment to talk with him alone, and even though P didnt want to, both ma and D made her leave. We drove off and he apologized for not calling me. Not having any contact at all actually, but it was finals anyway at school. But he told me not to take what he said seriously. He told me that she would be moving after finals and he knew long distance never works with them. He just needed me to bare with him til she left after finals. He apologized that things should have been done along time ago, but because shes so sensitive and not normal, this would be the only way for her to leave. and for us to be happy.

It's bee a few weeks and she hasnt left due to grants she needs to sign. I havent contacted him in those few weeks. Because i needed my space as well. Recently i dropped by his work and he was so joyed to see me. He says she wont get away and he has to smoke spice in order for him to have it tolerable. He held me, kissed me, said everything i wanted to hear. But i never kissed back, held back, and what he said would go in one ear and out the other. I did miss him, but i didnt want him to know. I have to stay cold until she leaves so i can express myself to him. I dont know if im being played, or if she is. I know i should probably leave him if things dont change. which is why i kept my distance so that i can have it easier for me to move on if i have to. I dont know~ Help...

He's trying SO hard to have me understand that he's been a good boy, and that he misses me and cant wait til things go back to normal. He beg's me not to go, that he's dated so many girls and usually he leaves them for P when she comes back. But he dosent want that with me. He's doing all this for us and if i go, it was a total waste cause he couldnt get the one he wanted.

This whole situation is hard and heavy on my heart. I cry about it sometimes, because she has him now. Whether he or i like it or not. So who is being played here? Thats what i Dont know.
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Old 05-01-2010, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,004 posts, read 20,194,284 times
Reputation: 5492
Quote:
Originally Posted by peace987 View Post
First of all, i'm new so hi!


Hi!
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Old 05-01-2010, 11:50 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,776 posts, read 12,819,935 times
Reputation: 6561
Who's getting played? You.
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Old 05-01-2010, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 24,416,768 times
Reputation: 24070
Wow! This sounds like alot of drama, and a big headache.
If he didn`t want to be with her by now, he would be gone..not making lame excuses as to why they are still together.
You need to move on. Tell him to give you a call when he gets his life together, if and when that may be.
Yes, I see that you are being played here...sorry!

Welcome to CD!!
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Old 05-01-2010, 12:22 PM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,381 posts, read 4,385,800 times
Reputation: 1615
First of all, welcome to City-Data

I'm going to have to agree with the ladies above - it sounds like you're the one being played, unfortunately. As Yankee said, if he truly wanted to be away from her, he would be. You need to move on.

It will be hard but trust those of us who have been there before .... you will be much better off in the end. Perhaps one day things will work out between the two of you but you deserve better. Much better!

Good luck
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Old 05-01-2010, 11:36 PM
 
731 posts, read 1,510,322 times
Reputation: 689
He wants two girls, and that is not fair to you. Just let him go and don't call him or tell him anything. Someday you will laugh at yourself that you even liked him and that is the best gig on him.
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Old 05-02-2010, 12:11 AM
 
Location: Ft Lauderdale, FL
259 posts, read 793,906 times
Reputation: 235
If you have to ask "who's being played?", it's usually you.
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Old 05-02-2010, 01:48 AM
 
3,770 posts, read 6,278,892 times
Reputation: 3012
Yeah, you are being played. He went back with his ex and you are his back up.
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Old 05-02-2010, 12:16 PM
 
2 posts, read 4,115 times
Reputation: 13
Well, i guess you guys are right. I havent contacted him in a while anyway, and i recently got a full time job to get my mind off things. But its hard to shake, he says he just needs time to get rid of her since shes so psychotic. And his friends tell me to stick by cause they know he will leave her the minute she leaves. But i guess it doesnt matter now.. thanks for your help guys!
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Old 05-02-2010, 12:23 PM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,381 posts, read 4,385,800 times
Reputation: 1615
Quote:
Originally Posted by peace987 View Post
Well, i guess you guys are right. I havent contacted him in a while anyway, and i recently got a full time job to get my mind off things. But its hard to shake, he says he just needs time to get rid of her since shes so psychotic. And his friends tell me to stick by cause they know he will leave her the minute she leaves. But i guess it doesnt matter now.. thanks for your help guys!
Sounds like you're on the right track - good luck! Stop back and see us if you need any reassurance
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