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You have every right to be concerned. She has put on an additional 40 pounds, which is quite a lot of weight. Just because she was already overweight when you met doesn't mean that you have to be ok with her putting on more weight!
Saying something probably won't work, but give it a try. Hopefully, she'll be responsive.
If not, you have the right not to move forward with the relationship. Hope it all works out for you both!
I've been in a relationship with my fiance for almost three years, I love her more than anything and I think she's gorgeous, even though she's a big girl. I'm a healthy, thin, and attractive man. I could easily get someone better looking. Not that I want to at all though. I started dating her when she was overweight, about 220lbs, it didn't bother me. Now she's at 260, she has never tried to lose the weight and I'm really getting tired of it, and having to tip toe around her sensitivity to her weight is wearing on me. As her future husband I feel like I have the right to talk to her about her weight and ask her to try to lose it. Shouldn't she want to loose weight to look her best for me? I know if I were in her situation and very overweight and a gorgeous attractive woman fell in love with me I would be inspired to loose weight and get in shape.
Is this a reasonable request? and if so, how can I talk to her about it without her getting upset?
How about this. My friend weighs the same...I think. And, her husband is thin like you. She told him -- I want to lose weight. I'ma go on a diet. Her husband said, you gonna get divorced too. I love you this way. He said, he love big girls. His xwife was bigger.
She probably thought you were a chubby chaser seeing as 220 is already really big, probably didn't think you'd mind 40 more? Idk really, maybe you should say something?
You do come off as a conceited jerk in your OP too saying how you could do better and how gorgeous you are. Just sayin'.
Haven't seen too many hotties w/ morbidly obese women either so perhaps you're over evaluating yourself.
I foresee the OP's gf hearing "I love you, but I'm just not "in love" with you". Not his fault she ate away any attractive qualities she may have displayed, so don't fault him for wanting to articulate this to her. If she lost the weight they wouldn't have a problem, and him being with her at 220 is already asking a lot for most men to forgo being critical of or finding attractive.
I've been in a relationship with my fiance for almost three years, I love her more than anything and I think she's gorgeous, even though she's a big girl. I'm a healthy, thin, and attractive man. I could easily get someone better looking. Not that I want to at all though. I started dating her when she was overweight, about 220lbs, it didn't bother me. Now she's at 260, she has never tried to lose the weight and I'm really getting tired of it, and having to tip toe around her sensitivity to her weight is wearing on me. As her future husband I feel like I have the right to talk to her about her weight and ask her to try to lose it. Shouldn't she want to loose weight to look her best for me? I know if I were in her situation and very overweight and a gorgeous attractive woman fell in love with me I would be inspired to loose weight and get in shape.
Is this a reasonable request? and if so, how can I talk to her about it without her getting upset?
You think she's big now? She's only going to get...B I G G E R.... 220 was probably her dating weight. I don't think you can make somebody lose weight and keep it off. If you're that unhappy, you should find somebody else to date.
If you care you, would say something. At this point its a serious health issue and not vanity pounds. She won't change until she finds a way that is comfortable for her. You should google: spark people diet. They have a live healthy option and a lose weight option. You guys can get healthy together. The site is free and has support message boards, recipes, exercises etc. It could be something fun you can do together. I had to get on my own here about it. He slacks off every once in awhile and I remind him to buckle down. That is what a relationship is...pieces of each other making up for the others weakness at the time. A true team. And sometimes I do want to kick his head off for not sticking to it. LOL But I make different dinner suggestions instead.
And if she does not want to work out she does not have to. It is a myth that you have to workout to lose weight. You just have to eat less than you burn existing. I think the exercise need turns off a lot of heavy people from even starting to try to lose.
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