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I've been in a relationship with my fiance for almost three years, I love her more than anything and I think she's gorgeous, even though she's a big girl. I'm a healthy, thin, and attractive man. I could easily get someone better looking. Not that I want to at all though. I started dating her when she was overweight, about 220lbs, it didn't bother me. Now she's at 260, she has never tried to lose the weight and I'm really getting tired of it, and having to tip toe around her sensitivity to her weight is wearing on me. As her future husband I feel like I have the right to talk to her about her weight and ask her to try to lose it. Shouldn't she want to loose weight to look her best for me? I know if I were in her situation and very overweight and a gorgeous attractive woman fell in love with me I would be inspired to loose weight and get in shape.
Is this a reasonable request? and if so, how can I talk to her about it without her getting upset?
I certainly hope she hasn't read this thread and all the nasty, cruel remarks and comments.
The highlighted sentences speak volumes about how you view her weight issue and how she doesn't reflect the type of woman you feel you deserve to have.
Overweight people generally know they are overweight. Do you think she doesn't worry about someone hotter coming along?
I have no advice for you. I feel very sorry for your girlfriend, you come across as a man who doesn't really care about anyone except yourself and your image.
Shouldn't she want to loose weight to look her best for me? I know if I were in her situation and very overweight and a gorgeous attractive woman fell in love with me I would be inspired to loose weight and get in shape.
The more I think about it, yes I think she should want to do her best to lose weight for you. If it was only a few pounds it may not be a big deal, but at her proportions it's a major issue. Fat like that is just not attractive to most people and she finally crossed a threshold that it became an issue for the OP as well. In that regard if she wants to keep him she needs to be made aware that it's affecting her physical attractiveness. If you are going to be with someone shouldn't you be in love with their Mind, Body, and Soul?
A wife who lets herself go is demonstrating by her actions that she doesn’t care about her husband’s desires. He will soon look elsewhere for pleasure and love. Similarly, and apropos the above study, a husband who stops taking his wife on interesting adventures demonstrates he doesn’t care about her desires.
I've been in a relationship with my fiance for almost three years, I love her more than anything and I think she's gorgeous, even though she's a big girl. I'm a healthy, thin, and attractive man. I could easily get someone better looking. Not that I want to at all though. I started dating her when she was overweight, about 220lbs, it didn't bother me. Now she's at 260, she has never tried to lose the weight and I'm really getting tired of it, and having to tip toe around her sensitivity to her weight is wearing on me. As her future husband I feel like I have the right to talk to her about her weight and ask her to try to lose it. Shouldn't she want to loose weight to look her best for me? I know if I were in her situation and very overweight and a gorgeous attractive woman fell in love with me I would be inspired to loose weight and get in shape.
Is this a reasonable request? and if so, how can I talk to her about it without her getting upset?
Losing weight is a wiser decision when made by the person with the weight to improve their health and appearance if they are dissatisfied.
Doing it for someone else may not be the best way to maintain progress.
I would suggest you tell her that you are worried about her health and even though you find her attractive it would add to her appeal if she lost weight.
no brainer, change girl friends. she will lose weight. as long as you stick with her why should she change? do not do not get married. she will put on 50 lbs.
Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Maybe she is happy with herself, he is the one who isn't happy with her.
Happy with herself? I am sorry but there is no effin way someone who's obese can be happy with themselves. It's called being a hypocrite. I was obese and I know the whole "I am happy with myself" bull**** line all too well.
Nope she is not happy with herself and if he says she is, she is lying.
Is this a reasonable request? and if so, how can I talk to her about it without her getting upset?
Many women have weight issues, even skinny ones, and it usually boils down to how they see themselves. Being happily married results in two people bringing out the best in each other. Be supportive, but don't pressure her. As you said, she is already a beautiful person. With your constant devotion and love, she will begin to see what you do...the positives as well as the imperfections. When the time is right, she will be ready to devote more attention to her physical well-being and then you will see the power of love.
ok,
I gotta add my 2 cents here. I'm wondering, does she have an under active thyroid? I do, I know what it does to a person. I know first hand how hard, if not impossible, it is to take off the weight and how incredibly easy it is to put it on, even if you eat right and exercise.
I'm not the over weight girl-friend, but I could be. My husband is over 100lbs less than me, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves me (married 28 years this year). I know he's concerned for me, we've talked about it. I know the post isn't about me... but, I'm in her shoes. Maybe she desires to lose the weight, but sense's her bf feels she's too fat. Maybe, just maybe she can tell what he truly thinks of her.
Perhaps she may even have a problem with depression. If she didn't before this post, she will have afterward. I don't know a single fat person who isn't aware of the health issues to being obese. I can't talk for anyone else, but I get down right sick of hearing about it on the news and reading about it in the papers.
Yes, America has a problem with obesity. Yes, I'm one of them. Yes, I know I need to lose weight. Get off my back, get off her back. You don't like how we look then look the other way or find a cure for hypothyroidism and depression that doesn't help pack on the pounds. Try having some compassion, you're not perfect by any means.
Ok, I've vented... sorry, but no one has stood up for her. She can do better than some guy who thinks he's God's gift to women and can get a better looking one with no problem. She shouldn't have to settle for him and I would tell her she can do better.
I've been in a relationship with my fiance for almost three years, I love her more than anything and I think she's gorgeous, even though she's a big girl. I'm a healthy, thin, and attractive man. I could easily get someone better looking. Not that I want to at all though. I started dating her when she was overweight, about 220lbs, it didn't bother me. Now she's at 260, she has never tried to lose the weight and I'm really getting tired of it, and having to tip toe around her sensitivity to her weight is wearing on me. As her future husband I feel like I have the right to talk to her about her weight and ask her to try to lose it. Shouldn't she want to loose weight to look her best for me? I know if I were in her situation and very overweight and a gorgeous attractive woman fell in love with me I would be inspired to loose weight and get in shape.
Is this a reasonable request? and if so, how can I talk to her about it without her getting upset?
my boyfriend is on the chunky side and I love him no matter what. But on the other hand I know being overweight isnt healthy so Im trying to help him to lose weight. I told him he needs to loose weight because I care about his well being. He can lose 10 or 20 lbs on his stomache thats it. Since he's been working out more he feels better about himself and has more energy.
So no asking her to lose weight isnt wrong, its only showing her you care for her health.
Try and do things with her, like go on long walks. Eat healthy, anything to be active.
Good luck
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life style change
