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It's bewildering how some people think they will reinvent the social wheel, act in the complete opposite of established manners, and then bleat about how other people are bent out of shape.
Sure, go ahead and tell someone, "Your party sounds boring, and I don't really like you anyway. And I'm NOT sorry I can go. You should know that because I am honest." If your nose itches, be sure to really be yourself and pick it while you talk. Everyone will admire your forthright attitude and integrity.
It's bewildering how some people think they will reinvent the social wheel, act in the complete opposite of established manners, and then bleat about how other people are bent out of shape.
Sure, go ahead and tell someone, "Your party sounds boring, and I don't really like you anyway. And I'm NOT sorry I can go. You should know that because I am honest." If your nose itches, be sure to really be yourself and pick it while you talk. Everyone will admire your forthright attitude and integrity.
You betcha. Yet, when you read subsequent posts by the people in question, they will talk about their loneliness. As if one has nothing to do with the other. As if the world just can't handle their brave, unflinching individuality. I've got news for them. It's quite possible to be an individual without having the manners of a rhesus monkey.
Hey, if you want to be the social equivalent of a Thalidomide child, knock yourself out. But don't come back here mewling about how you can't find a lasting relationship in your life. Because, once again, it's your own damned fault.
You betcha. Yet, when you read subsequent posts by the people in question, they will talk about their loneliness. As if one has nothing to do with the other. As if the world just can't handle their brave, unflinching individuality. I've got news for them. It's quite possible to be an individual without having the manners of a rhesus monkey.
Hey, if you want to be the social equivalent of a Thalidomide child, knock yourself out. But don't come back here mewling about how you can't find a lasting relationship in your life. Because, once again, it's your own damned fault.
Moderator cut: snip I don't think you should be upset about being rejected. I don't think anybody on here has rejected you personally and furthermore, you don't really know anyone. Your reaction reminds me of some of those roid raging, short tempered alcoholics. "What? You don't like booze, pretentiousness, getting stupid drunk, and talking out of your a-ss? How dare you? Shock! Awe."
Surprise, surprise, there are DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS! If you don't like those kinds of people, then, don't invite them to your gatherings. As you have read, it's not loss on their part.
Last edited by wigirl920; 05-08-2010 at 12:58 PM..
I don't think you should be upset about being rejected. I don't think anybody on here has rejected you personally and furthermore, you don't really know anyone. Your reaction reminds me of some of those roid raging, short tempered alcoholics. "What? You don't like booze, pretentiousness, getting stupid drunk, and talking out of your a-ss? How dare you? Shock! Awe."
Surprise, surprise, there are DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS! If you don't like those kinds of people, then, don't invite them to your gatherings. As you have read, it's not loss on their part.
Man. The reading comprehension needs work on your part. As I said in a earlier post in this thread, a simple "I'm sorry. I am unable to attend" is an acceptable excuse. It covers all contingencies from "I have a pressing business commitment in Chicago that night" to "You know, I'd rather be mauled by wolverines than hang out with your booze-soaked nitwit friends."
At the same time, if you turn somebody down, is it really necessary to go into scads of detail as to the reasons why? Do you really want to tell somebody that, in the great scheme of things, their birthday party is less important than the Phillies game? Or that the host's friends are just a bunch of crushing bores?
I guess you can, but what you've just done is take a simple Yes/No answer regarding your ability to attend and turn it into a major social blunder, all because of this weird need to provide a full explanation.
And then there are the people who say, "I'm not interested." Boy, isn't that the nice way to respond to somebody who was kind enough to think of you?
Saying "you are not able to attend" is another lie in most cases. You can attend but chose not to. How about saying, "I do not want to attend, but thankyou for thinking about me"
Last edited by Tough Questions; 05-07-2010 at 06:38 AM..
You can say whatever you want, be as blunt and painfully honest as you wish. Just don't wonder why you are no longer invited to anything or why you have no friends.
Man. The reading comprehension needs work on your part. As I said in a earlier post in this thread, a simple "I'm sorry. I am unable to attend" is an acceptable excuse. It covers all contingencies from "I have a pressing business commitment in Chicago that night" to "You know, I'd rather be mauled by wolverines than hang out with your booze-soaked nitwit friends."
At the same time, if you turn somebody down, is it really necessary to go into scads of detail as to the reasons why? Do you really want to tell somebody that, in the great scheme of things, their birthday party is less important than the Phillies game? Or that the host's friends are just a bunch of crushing bores?
I guess you can, but what you've just done is take a simple Yes/No answer regarding your ability to attend and turn it into a major social blunder, all because of this weird need to provide a full explanation.
And then there are the people who say, "I'm not interested." Boy, isn't that the nice way to respond to somebody who was kind enough to think of you?
Moderator cut: snip
Now, you're changing your tune. That is good. Skillful communication and honesty are good things. I think the way things are worded, make a difference.
I make no apologies for the way I operate.
Last edited by wigirl920; 05-08-2010 at 12:59 PM..
Now, you're changing your tune. That is good. Skillful communication and honesty are good things. I think the way things are worded, make a difference.
I make no apologies for the way I operate.
Given my active social life, I think it's funny how you leap to conclusions. That must explain your strange conclusion earlier that an invitation to an event automatically means that hooch is being served, whether it is a church social to an eight-year-old's birthday party.
Since you're apparently having a hard time grasping this concept, "I am unable to attend" lets both the inviter and invitee off the hook. Saying, "I don't want to come" is nothing short of an insult. If that's how you speak to people, little wonder you don't have friends.
Last edited by wigirl920; 05-08-2010 at 01:01 PM..
Given my active social life, I think it's funny how you leap to conclusions. That must explain your strange conclusion earlier that an invitation to an event automatically means that hooch is being served, whether it is a church social to an eight-year-old's birthday party.
Since you're apparently having a hard time grasping this concept, "I am unable to attend" lets both the inviter and invitee off the hook. Saying, "I don't want to come" is nothing short of an insult. If that's how you speak to people, little wonder you don't have friends.
Look, I don't care about your "social life" or whether booze is served. Have a ball everyday of the week! ANYBODY can throw parties or socialize. I'm not the least bit impressed. I don't know if your issue is with the way I handle invitations that I have turned down or that you simply cannot handle rejection? To paint people that are doing the rejection, however, as socially inept monkeys, just shows your flaws. Moderator cut: snip
FYI: People that don't have friends, do not TURN DOWN invitations.
Last edited by wigirl920; 05-08-2010 at 01:01 PM..
Saying "you are not able to attend" is another lie in most cases. You can attend but chose not to. How about saying, "I do not want to attend, but thankyou for thinking about me"
Well, yeah...you can always *choose* to go to a party instead of to work or to your kids' games or to sleep because you've been up all week...but you don't have to phrase it that way. I mean, I think I'd be offended if someone answered like that. I'd much rather they say they can't and leave it at that. After three "I can'ts," I stop inviting them.
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ANYBODY can throw parties or socialize. I'm not the least bit impressed. I don't know if your issue is with the way I handle invitations that I have turned down or that you simply cannot handle rejection? To paint people that are doing the rejection, however, as socially inept monkeys, just shows your flaws. Moderator cut: snip 
