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Gee, it is interesting to see we all have a story. I had a girlfriend when I was in the eight grade, we were together until the middle of our junior year in highschool when her mother broke us up, we were allowed to go to our junior-senior prom together, however. Her mother brok us up because i wouldn't go to church with them, they belonged to a church that is thought of as a cult. Six months after we broke up, a male from her church group returned home from the military and started dating her and they were married before a year was up. Of course, I was heartbroken, especially to know she had gotten married. I started dating other gals and after the end of my senior year I started dating one of my former girlfriends friends. Several months after graduation I went into the Air Force and eventually sent a photo in my uniform to my new girlfriend. A couple years later I ended up marrying the new girlfriend while I was home on leave, just before going overseas to an assignment in Japan. Shortly after getting married, my old girlfriend came to visit my wife, and broke down in tears when she saw the photo I had sent. This upset my wife and she asked my old friend to leave. I never heard from this old friend until 20 years later after I had gone through a divorce. She had heard about the divorce and wanted to see me when she came back to our town for Thanksgiving. I told her she could stop by and gave her my address, when she showed up, her mother was with her. We visited for a few minutes and they left. A week later I got a call from her and she said she wanted to call me every once in a while, I told her okay. On the next call she told me the only time that she could call was when she went to town by herself, that her husband was very demanding and jealous, and they hadn't been intimate for over 10 years. She got a PO Box in my company name and figured out a way I could get the key to her. We started writing back and forth, she told me she was figuring out a way to come to my town by her self and visit. Six months later, she had it figured out, called and said she would be by for a visit on such and such a day. She came over in the early evening and stayed for several hours, the sparks were still there. As she complained about her husband I told her I was single, wasn't dating anyone and would be interested in her if she was single. She said she couldn't leave her husband, but if something happened to him, she would be on my door step before his body was cold. Two years later I started dating my present wife and told her I couldn't see her anymore. We've seen each other at class reunions, and my wife remarked about her beauty, and the old girlfriend was afraid to speak to me at length until I told her to relax, that my wife wasn't jealous. I haven't heard from her for over five years, now, but I still wonder. I know if I called her on the phone, she would start calling me again, if she had her way about it she would start it all over again She said her love for me would never go away.
Well Raena, I almost deleted all of that post because of it's length, and I didn't want to just bore everyone, but that is what I've gone through in my life. Of course I didn't fill in all the details, but I couldn't really tell the sotry without writing what I did. My former girl friend lives about 150 miles from my home town. Her life has been much different than mine. To answer your question, yes love is powerful. I was surprised when she wanted to call me and then start writing to me. The night she came to visit, she was much more aggressive then I expected her to be. She made the statement "I've dreamed about this for a long time". She was someone that I could care for again back then, today I wouldn't. When I told her I wouldn't see her anymore, and told her the reason, she cried. I told her at that time "most people don't get two chances at love, you are and you are blowing it a second time". Today I'm married and very happy. My wife is aware of some of this story, but not all of it. Sorry for the long post.
Gee, it is interesting to see we all have a story. I had a girlfriend when I was in the eight grade, we were together until the middle of our junior year in highschool when her mother broke us up, we were allowed to go to our junior-senior prom together, however. Her mother brok us up because i wouldn't go to church with them, they belonged to a church that is thought of as a cult. Six months after we broke up, a male from her church group returned home from the military and started dating her and they were married before a year was up. Of course, I was heartbroken, especially to know she had gotten married. I started dating other gals and after the end of my senior year I started dating one of my former girlfriends friends. Several months after graduation I went into the Air Force and eventually sent a photo in my uniform to my new girlfriend. A couple years later I ended up marrying the new girlfriend while I was home on leave, just before going overseas to an assignment in Japan. Shortly after getting married, my old girlfriend came to visit my wife, and broke down in tears when she saw the photo I had sent. This upset my wife and she asked my old friend to leave. I never heard from this old friend until 20 years later after I had gone through a divorce. She had heard about the divorce and wanted to see me when she came back to our town for Thanksgiving. I told her she could stop by and gave her my address, when she showed up, her mother was with her. We visited for a few minutes and they left. A week later I got a call from her and she said she wanted to call me every once in a while, I told her okay. On the next call she told me the only time that she could call was when she went to town by herself, that her husband was very demanding and jealous, and they hadn't been intimate for over 10 years. She got a PO Box in my company name and figured out a way I could get the key to her. We started writing back and forth, she told me she was figuring out a way to come to my town by her self and visit. Six months later, she had it figured out, called and said she would be by for a visit on such and such a day. She came over in the early evening and stayed for several hours, the sparks were still there. As she complained about her husband I told her I was single, wasn't dating anyone and would be interested in her if she was single. She said she couldn't leave her husband, but if something happened to him, she would be on my door step before his body was cold. Two years later I started dating my present wife and told her I couldn't see her anymore. We've seen each other at class reunions, and my wife remarked about her beauty, and the old girlfriend was afraid to speak to me at length until I told her to relax, that my wife wasn't jealous. I haven't heard from her for over five years, now, but I still wonder. I know if I called her on the phone, she would start calling me again, if she had her way about it she would start it all over again She said her love for me would never go away.
It took guts to share all that
Here's my two cents for you...the fact that she wouldn't act to actually be with you - that she "couldn't leave her husband" really means she was living more in a fantasy world in regards to you.
IF she had really wanted you and IF she had looked at you as the love of her life, she would have moved heaven and earth to be with you - it's as simple as that. She talked a good game, but she lacked an ability to be solidly committed to you.
You are much better off in the happy marriage you are in now
I hooked up with an old flame once and he was as wonderful as I remembered and we couldn't make it for the same reasons we didn't make it in the past.
Sounds familiar. In my case--we met at the Homecoming Game--first year of college. He had a serious relationship during high school with another majorette. Very intense relationship from what I observed--I really wasn't that closely involved in the personal lives of my fellow majorettes.
So I was sitting there with a girl that attended my college and he started talking and asked me to the dance. I like to dance and decided to go. He looked a little, bit sad---and I knew he was thinking about L. She had called him from college a few weeks before but he said he told her--'That's over'--there had been an unpleasant incident before they left for college.
So we began a long distance relationship. We wrote. I wrote a lot of letters and he wrote 'a few'--that man doesn't like to write or read much--he tells me. LOL--I can only imagine what life would have been like ---he liked rapelling--Airborne Ranger things and I was an elementary education major--language arts and social science---did a lot of Reading and Writing. Naturally inclined that way. LOL--I have a lot of 'verbal ability'.
Somehow we got along through college--or so I thought. Never knew that we had stopped dating--being the patient, nice girl that I was--until a friend of a friend decided to inform me that he now had a girlfriend at his school. What a memory.
We finally talked about that via email--with me crying as I typed and him 'not wanting to talk'. He's divorced now--which I didn't know for certain when we met 'online'. Still hasn't told me that. LOL--I guess he thinks I know.
I told him--"It seems we really knew nothing about each other'---got a big response which made little sense to me. So I said--'You don't like to email--read and write and I can't talk to you on the phone and I don't want to write letters again--really didn't enjoy that the first time...do you remember?'
So we can be 'Friends' and just not do anything.
So that is what we are doing. LOL. I have some news--might write too much--so I am waiting until I feel the time is right to try to communicate on his level.
Mechanical genius ---very Right brained--LOL. I wish I was more like that but I am 'creative and verbal'---lol. We have a little bit more FYI about ourselves now--as painful as it was to 'catch up'.
So I guess we'll do that, soon. As 'crazy' as we were then--we are still 'crazy' now. That much has been established.
I had a flame in college, she was a senior, I was a soph. We were hot and heavy and in LOVE! She graduated and I was heartbroken...even when we saw e/o that summer on Cape Cod, I would head back to Boston, she to NY, and it would hurt all over. Then she met someone on a club med vacation and married him. BUT she called me the day after she got engaged to tell me she was getting married. I guess she wanted me to tell her "NO don't do it!" but I was in grad school by then, had a GF / Bed Buddy but had not two nickels to may name and I was so heartbroken...I felt like she was the love of my life. Years went by, no one could come close to the feeling I had when we were together. From time to time, she'd drop me a note, or send my a pic of her family. I too moved on and got married when I was 30 (when I had maybe three nickels to rub together), but I was divorced by the time I was 48. She too was getting a divorce about the same time and although she was in NYC and I was in Massatucky, we decided to meet after talking about things, about life, the good, the bad, the ugly. We dated. It was spectacular. All of it. ALL OF IT. She wanted to be with me but I was still getting over my divorce and not ready to really commit but we still were involved in a long distance every-other-weekend thing..but me, being the handsome cad I am, started to see other people and I also found her profile on an online dating service so....it was not exclusive. Then, I broke it off after falling head-over-butt (ok it was infatuation/sexamazation) for a smoking hot blonde who lived next town over. She stopped texting me and it seemed over. Then you know who gets DUMPED by aforementioned hot blonde and all I could do was think of her. I called her, telling her I was SO SORRY for hurting her feelings....that I was not ready for what she had to offer...so she made me sweat it out for a few weeks and then texted me saying she was coming to Beantown fer a cousins wedding, would I meet her in town? That was this past Labor Day - and we have been inseparable ever since. When I met her on the train platform in South Station, my heart skipped several beats and when we hugged as the passengers went by, I never wanted to let her go...EVER! She is an amazing lady....OMG....the LOVE of MY LIFE and we are TOGETHER. I could not be happier ever. If life ever gives you a second chance, GRAB IT WITH BOTH HANDS!!!!!
I had a flame in college, she was a senior, I was a soph. We were hot and heavy and in LOVE! She graduated and I was heartbroken...even when we saw e/o that summer on Cape Cod, I would head back to Boston, she to NY, and it would hurt all over. Then she met someone on a club med vacation and married him. BUT she called me the day after she got engaged to tell me she was getting married. I guess she wanted me to tell her "NO don't do it!" but I was in grad school by then, had a GF / Bed Buddy but had not two nickels to may name and I was so heartbroken...I felt like she was the love of my life. Years went by, no one could come close to the feeling I had when we were together. From time to time, she'd drop me a note, or send my a pic of her family. I too moved on and got married when I was 30 (when I had maybe three nickels to rub together), but I was divorced by the time I was 48. She too was getting a divorce about the same time and although she was in NYC and I was in Massatucky, we decided to meet after talking about things, about life, the good, the bad, the ugly. We dated. It was spectacular. All of it. ALL OF IT. She wanted to be with me but I was still getting over my divorce and not ready to really commit but we still were involved in a long distance every-other-weekend thing..but me, being the handsome cad I am, started to see other people and I also found her profile on an online dating service so....it was not exclusive. Then, I broke it off after falling head-over-butt (ok it was infatuation/sexamazation) for a smoking hot blonde who lived next town over. She stopped texting me and it seemed over. Then you know who gets DUMPED by aforementioned hot blonde and all I could do was think of her. I called her, telling her I was SO SORRY for hurting her feelings....that I was not ready for what she had to offer...so she made me sweat it out for a few weeks and then texted me saying she was coming to Beantown fer a cousins wedding, would I meet her in town? That was this past Labor Day - and we have been inseparable ever since. When I met her on the train platform in South Station, my heart skipped several beats and when we hugged as the passengers went by, I never wanted to let her go...EVER! She is an amazing lady....OMG....the LOVE of MY LIFE and we are TOGETHER. I could not be happier ever. If life ever gives you a second chance, GRAB IT WITH BOTH HANDS!!!!!
Well, you were a little slow and thick in learning such a valuable lesson - but at least you finally got it, lol!! Better late than never though.
I know someone who went through this with an old flame from college days. It didn't work at all and ended up in a bitter divorce and financial disaster.
He told me the lesson he learned was that you can never 'go back'.
I know someone who went through this with an old flame from college days. It didn't work at all and ended up in a bitter divorce and financial disaster.
He told me the lesson he learned was that you can never 'go back'.
Which is why I don't care for the TV version of 'Reuniting With Old Flames' whatever it is called.
Nothing good comes from the 'evil box', jmo.
I think in very specific circumstances you can 'Move On'--if you are somewhere in the same 'chapter' of your lives. Rare, certainly.
In my scenario--I think we were both pleased with 'how you turned out'. Some common interests and a great deal of affection. LOL--I stunned my old flame by impetuously kissing him on the cheek. Thought it was sweet--he looked very shy....I used to be the shy one. He knows how to kiss pretty well, as I recall. He can still make me um--nervous--if I let him. Hope it was a bit of an ego boost. I thought he needed that. I had been rather abrasive and it was more of an apology than anything else.
My HS boyfriend and I reconnected through Facebook. It turned out we have a lot more in common now than we did in high school. It was a fun couple months dating him again, but ultimately it didn't work out for a number of reasons, not one of which had anything to do with high school or trying to recapture old feelings. I would have dated him anyway even if I had just met him for the first time ever last year, and it would have ended the same way. He and I are still friends and hopefully he'll find someone perfect for him 'cause he deserves that, it just won't be me
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