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Old 05-09-2010, 08:34 AM
 
34,148 posts, read 40,148,979 times
Reputation: 49021

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dickums McGee View Post
i Just broke it off...couldnt deal with feeling like second class. I know when im happy, and this is not it. I dont think she did a good job separating motherhood and her relationship. I told her all the time that i feel left out, but she insist im being selfish and childish. She even told me that it was stupid. So as far as im concerned im through. I still love her and have deep feelings for her and the kids, but i need more substance in a relationship that im not getting from her.
The fact that you did this, so quickly after your initial post, tells me that you were already in the I-want-out mode. Surely nothing that was said here caused you to make such a quick and important decision.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dickums McGee View Post
ugh now she has the nerve to go on facebook and change her profile picture to "Single and Sexy" and have random guys write on her wall that she knows will make me mad. Well i know i broke up with her but it still hurts to see my ex-fiance call another guy bae or hun when she was just callin me that yesterday..ugh now im up feeling like crap once again. Did i make the right decision? If so, am i just feeling bad because im jealous? Why does she feel the need to try and make me feel like i wasnt even an issue to her. Is she just doing this to try and make me hurt? If so, why is it working. ugh... Now i see why this dating thing is so hard. When u think u found the right one, it never works out that way. Eff it all....sorry just venting..
Now you are just being immature. For crying out loud...why the hell would you have her on FB if you called off an engagement???? Don't you have any friends or family you can talk to? How the heck can a forum tell you if you made the right decision? Yeesh.

I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive, but you are 24...right? It's time to grow up. You weren't happy, so you ended it. Now move on.
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Old 05-09-2010, 08:37 AM
Ep-
 
2,074 posts, read 3,945,539 times
Reputation: 2449
yea defriend her on facebook sounds like shes just stirring **** to **** you off bud. you did the right thing just gotta follow through and break off contact

if shes putting in effort to make it seem like it wasnt an issue to her then she is bothered by it. people who dont care shrug it off and move on not try and make people jelous
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Old 05-09-2010, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Southeast
348 posts, read 794,764 times
Reputation: 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by wilmingtonangel View Post
I could see it if she were just buying the clothes, shoes, etc for her own kids. Obviously those types of things are top priority. But she is buying stuff for all of the other kids and can't even spend $3 on a card for you?!?!?! This tells me that you are low on her priority list, and you should NOT marry her!!! It sounds like she sees you as a meal ticket - someone who just graduated college and has great earnings potential.

A women's kids will always come first, but her husband-to-be to be should be right up there as a close 2nd.
Ditto! Time to move on.
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Old 05-09-2010, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Southeast
348 posts, read 794,764 times
Reputation: 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dickums McGee View Post
i Just broke it off...couldnt deal with feeling like second class. I know when im happy, and this is not it. I dont think she did a good job separating motherhood and her relationship. I told her all the time that i feel left out, but she insist im being selfish and childish. She even told me that it was stupid. So as far as im concerned im through. I still love her and have deep feelings for her and the kids, but i need more substance in a relationship that im not getting from her.
Good for you!! The fact that she is criticizing your feelings is a red flag. You need to find a woman who will respect and value your opinion and feelings. If problems cannot be solved before marriage then it only gets worse after marriage.
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Wilmington, NC
412 posts, read 1,171,913 times
Reputation: 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dickums McGee View Post
i Just broke it off...couldnt deal with feeling like second class. I know when im happy, and this is not it. I dont think she did a good job separating motherhood and her relationship. I told her all the time that i feel left out, but she insist im being selfish and childish. She even told me that it was stupid. So as far as im concerned im through. I still love her and have deep feelings for her and the kids, but i need more substance in a relationship that im not getting from her.
It's obvious you are a good guy and really fell for this woman who just didn't have the same feelings for you as you had for her. Time will heal. Good luck.

P.S. not all single moms are like her
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:13 AM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 14,385,046 times
Reputation: 3768
YOU ARE IN A CRAPPY RELATIONSHIP! RUN, don't walk to the nearest exit.

You are not important to this woman. You are jealous of her children. It is not too to ask for a proper Christmas gift or proper anniversary gift. I will reiterate what Chessie said, her behavior has NOTHING to do woth being a single mom. My mother ALWAYS got my step father not only a card, but a present on EVERY holiday/special occaision.

Buying for her children doesn't mean leaving you out. Go find a woman who feels that you are important and not just a future ATM machine. Trust me when all of your hard earned money is spent on her children and you still never receive anything except a last minute whatever I can find, you will start to resent the children and get jealous of them.

And please don't let your experiecne with this woman stop you from dating single Moms. Not all of them are this thoughtless.
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,413 posts, read 19,400,705 times
Reputation: 18573
She sounds very selfish and immature. Do yourself a favor and stop torturing yourself with Facebook. Delete her as a friend at once and don't look back. She's playing little high school games right now. The best thing you can do is get on with your life and be happy you cut her out of your life now before it went any further. Take the high the road and don't bother with the petty jealousy games. Find someone who will show you mutual respect and consideration.
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:29 AM
 
18 posts, read 20,163 times
Reputation: 17
thanks for the comments, but i do have to say that after seeing that last night on facebook, i got weak. Real weak. I found myself about to stoop to her level but i didnt do it. ugh..I understand the breaking off contact/defriending her on fb, but its so hard to when for the last year i made her the most important thing in my life. Hours on the phone, spending so much time together, and now my life has a void in it thats too big for me to fill alone. I see alot of lonely nights ahead of me.

@chessiemom
I appreciate your opinion. I was her friend on FB prior to our little mishap, and i didnt feel the need to unfriend her at that moment because i thought that would add insult to injury. But after what she did i can see that i should have. I guess a part of me wanted to keep in contact with her. its hard to let it go when ur so attached to someone. Your right i was already in "im out mode" i just needed some reassurance as to whether i was over analyzing things or not. The friends i do talk to already hate her so their decision would be slightly bias.lol They have been telling me to break up with her ever since we got engaged or maybe even before that.
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:40 AM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,817,767 times
Reputation: 13469
I agree with others that you made the right decision. Just her doing that FB baloney shows that she has a screw loose. One piece of advice, tho, in the future it would be a good idea to include your partners mother in whatever outing you plan for mother's day. Or at least ask. I asked my dh what his mom was doing for mother's day because if she was going to be alone, we'd go out to her house and have dinner, etc. It's just the polite thing to do. But, she's out visiting her daughter so no worries.
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 11,948,539 times
Reputation: 9518
You definitely did the right thing. This woman would have made your life a living hell if you had married her. You are going to hurt for a while, but if you keep yourself busy the time will go faster. There are plenty of nice girls out there looking for a good guy. You don't need to settle for someone with so much baggage. Take care.

P.S. Don't call her or take her calls no matter how pathetic and apologetic she sounds. Make it a clean break and move on to better things.
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