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Old 05-09-2010, 10:59 AM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,569 posts, read 17,000,755 times
Reputation: 16665

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For the first time ever, I agreed with Steelstress. \

And I didn't disagree with ANYONE who posted here. You dodged a big bullet and you took the high road in not responding to her "oh well, he's gone, let's find a new sugardaddy fast" play on FB.

Next time, don't be in such a rush to to get engaged. You were already having problems, getting engaged only exacerbates the situation, not change it.
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:23 AM
 
34,923 posts, read 40,839,995 times
Reputation: 50603
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dickums McGee View Post
@chessiemom
I appreciate your opinion. I was her friend on FB prior to our little mishap, and i didnt feel the need to unfriend her at that moment because i thought that would add insult to injury. But after what she did i can see that i should have. I guess a part of me wanted to keep in contact with her. its hard to let it go when ur so attached to someone. Your right i was already in "im out mode" i just needed some reassurance as to whether i was over analyzing things or not. The friends i do talk to already hate her so their decision would be slightly bias.lol They have been telling me to break up with her ever since we got engaged or maybe even before that.
It's one thing to stay FB "friends" with an ex where the split is very amicable and friendly, and you have mutual friends. I don't see a thing wrong with that. But that is not your situation. It IS hard to let go, but you've called it off, she's make it clear she's an @ss, so there is no need to look back. Remove her, stop worrying about what is going on with HER and start looking forward to YOUR future..
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:23 AM
 
18 posts, read 20,248 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
For the first time ever, I agreed with Steelstress. \

And I didn't disagree with ANYONE who posted here. You dodged a big bullet and you took the high road in not responding to her "oh well, he's gone, let's find a new sugardaddy fast" play on FB.

Next time, don't be in such a rush to to get engaged. You were already having problems, getting engaged only exacerbates the situation, not change it.

funny thing is i thought it would make things better seeing as though i was basically telling her that i want to spend the rest of my life with her..but nothing changed. i thought getting engaged would make me feel more important to her, but in the long run it didn't. So i can whole-heartedly agree with that quote.
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:27 AM
 
18 posts, read 20,248 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
It's one thing to stay FB "friends" with an ex where the split is very amicable and friendly, and you have mutual friends. I don't see a thing wrong with that. But that is not your situation. It IS hard to let go, but you've called it off, she's make it clear she's an @ss, so there is no need to look back. Remove her, stop worrying about what is going on with HER and start looking forward to YOUR future..
I agree fully. I cant wait for the day when i become less concerned about her actions and more concerned about my own. Its gonna take a while to get there, but i got nothing but time.
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:31 AM
 
4,100 posts, read 6,779,946 times
Reputation: 5670
The tough part about this whole situation is you have some time invested. I say get out now. She will never change and there come a day when you won't put up with this behavior, and when that day comes you'll leave. But you will leave after a court orders you to pay her spousal support or if you have kids, child support. Leave now, caulk it up to experience. The next woman you meet will be better.
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Old 05-09-2010, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Australia
8,362 posts, read 3,243,495 times
Reputation: 40204
The fact that all your friends 'hated' your ex-fiancee speaks volumes... often people on the outside see things much more clearly than those on the inside.

You did the right thing breaking it off. It will be tough for a while, but you'll get there. Something that might help would be to write down a list of all the things your ex did that annoyed you, upset you, or showed you the type of person she really is. Keep that list handy... and any time you start feeling sorry for yourself or want to get in touch with her, get that list out and read it. If that's not enough to stop you contacting her or wallowing in misery, come back to this thread and re-read it too!
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Old 05-09-2010, 04:00 PM
 
Location: California
147 posts, read 280,686 times
Reputation: 120
Sounds to me like she's a good mommy but doesn't have room for one more. At your age I believe you deserve a woman that has the time and energy to put into your relationship. If you are unsure if you are in a crappy relationship or not then YOU ARE IN A CRAPPY RELATIONSHIP.
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Old 05-09-2010, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
202 posts, read 451,358 times
Reputation: 457
At your age of 24, you can also certainly find women who dont have kids. NOT slamming people with kids, but after going through that, it might be nice for you to deal with someone who (1) is less selfish than her and (2) has the freedom to focus more on just the two of you and your relationship.
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Old 05-09-2010, 06:27 PM
 
16,844 posts, read 15,481,384 times
Reputation: 10306
Quote:
Originally Posted by wilmingtonangel View Post
I could see it if she were just buying the clothes, shoes, etc for her own kids. Obviously those types of things are top priority. But she is buying stuff for all of the other kids and can't even spend $3 on a card for you?!?!?! This tells me that you are low on her priority list, and you should NOT marry her!!! It sounds like she sees you as a meal ticket - someone who just graduated college and has great earnings potential.

A women's kids will always come first, but her husband-to-be to be should be right up there as a close 2nd.
Beautiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifulll Advice ! Follow it please.
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Old 05-09-2010, 06:32 PM
 
16,844 posts, read 15,481,384 times
Reputation: 10306
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunnydee View Post
You definitely did the right thing. This woman would have made your life a living hell if you had married her. You are going to hurt for a while, but if you keep yourself busy the time will go faster. There are plenty of nice girls out there looking for a good guy. You don't need to settle for someone with so much baggage. Take care.

P.S. Don't call her or take her calls no matter how pathetic and apologetic she sounds. Make it a clean break and move on to better things.
Please follow this advice ! Delete her FB , delete her phone number out of your phone. NO CONTACT ! She is doing this because she is an evil _________!!!! Don't let her manipulate you .
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