Speaking of facebook, did I make the right decision? (wife, girlfriend, woman)
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I was just reading a thread about a woman that is acting like an a$$ on facebook (big surprise) so it reminded me of a decision I made this morning.
I keep my late brother's facebook page going. I've turned it into a tribute for him. I'll post pics and poems on his anniversary dates. Today I posted what I sent our mom for Mother's day and what I wrote on her card (from the both of us type stuff). His old friends will make comments on his page expressing that they miss him. So, it's a good thing.
Now onto the decision I made. My brother was in a stupid relationship before he died. I tried to stay out of it, but he and his girl were pretty juvenile. At one point last year they broke up for a while and she reacted by contacting people on his friend's list and creating a lot of goofy virtual drama. It got as bad as some of the arguments that surface on this forum. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
But, despite all her bologna and their dysfunctional relationship she loved(s) my brother. They (my bro, her, and her kids) just moved down to Florida together after 2-3 years being together. He was killed about a month later. Obviously, she took it hard. Not only losing him, but a new life all on her own. Well, she friend requested his account the other day. She knows I log in from time to time. I just couldn't reject it. I felt bad so I accepted the friend request and sent her a follow up email kind of hinting that I'm hoping nothing painful or weird would result from it.
I hope she doesn't pull anything with the people who write on his page. Fortunately, the one's who do are mostly mutual friends of theirs and maybe she's been monitoring his page through their account any way. On the one hand common sense tells me that there's a level of respect for the dead and nobody would act up in such a way. OTOH, who knows with some people.
First, I'm very sorry to hear about your brother and I think a tribute page seems like a nice thing to do. If any comments are made that you don't approve of I think you can just click "hide" and no one will see them.
First, I'm very sorry to hear about your brother and I think a tribute page seems like a nice thing to do. If any comments are made that you don't approve of I think you can just click "hide" and no one will see them.
I'm not so worried about that, but her having access to his friends list. We changed all his passwords and had to get him a new email last year because of her contacting people. I set it all to private and last year she was cut off from having access to his online activity. So, when he died I just assumed that will be the way it stays. Eh, maybe she just wants to contribute to his page like the rest of his friends. I just don't know what to think about people who get crazy on line. The stuff she said in email and pms to his friends was pretty nuts (psycho sh*t).
some people just suck.....they dont know they are crazy and some think its a badge to wear...ever heard the term "crazy *****"? .....humor her for a bit, she was bro`s wife...
I'm not so worried about that, but her having access to his friends list. We changed all his passwords and had to get him a new email last year because of her contacting people. I set it all to private and last year she was cut off from having access to his online activity. So, when he died I just assumed that will be the way it stays. Eh, maybe she just wants to contribute to his page like the rest of his friends. I just don't know what to think about people who get crazy on line. The stuff she said in email and pms to his friends was pretty nuts (psycho sh*t).
Then simply change the privacy settings. You can make his "Friends" list unavailable to anyone, or you can block it from specific people. Really...the privacy settings that they have now, there's just no reason to worry about anyone seeing anything that you don't want them to.
Then simply change the privacy settings. You can make his "Friends" list unavailable to anyone, or you can block it from specific people. Really...the privacy settings that they have now, there's just no reason to worry about anyone seeing anything that you don't want them to.
Ahh, I didn't know that could be done for individuals. Thanks, ChessieMom!
eta: well, I just found this "As of December 9, 2009 you can no longer hide your Friend List from friends. However, most of the other info in this note is still valid."
Not that it matters because I see that I didn't update his privacy settings during the last round of changes. Well, that's that I guess.
I would just keep an eye on the Facebook page make sure she is not abusing it. It may help her heal by looking at the tributes and the notes left by his friends and loved ones.
You always have the option to "unfriend" her if she gets out of hand.
Ahh, I didn't know that could be done for individuals. Thanks, ChessieMom!
eta: well, I just found this "As of December 9, 2009 you can no longer hide your Friend List from friends. However, most of the other info in this note is still valid."
Not that it matters because I see that I didn't update his privacy settings during the last round of changes. Well, that's that I guess.
Um...yes, you can. Go into Privacy Settings-->Friends, Tags and Connections, you will see "Friends" listed at the top....click on the button on the right, and you will get this box. Select "Customize", and then use the "Hide friends from" button. Don't rely on outdated information. FB updated their settings several times since that note.
Braunwyn, I am so sorry to hear about your brother. It is great that you turned his Facebook page into a memorial, and I think you made the right decision by allowing his girlfriend to access it. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about Facebook to be of any help.
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