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So I posted a similar question on a different thread but I figured more people will see it (and respond hopefully) if I created a new thread here:
For all you married folks out there (or if you have been living with your partner for a really long time - which I'll let you decide what "a long time" means to you!) how long did it take you to realize that no longer was your biological family but rather your spouse/partner that was your family unit?
I've been visiting my Mom for the past 2 weeks and have enjoyed my stay with her but for the first time, I REALLY missed my husband and couldn't wait to go "home" to him. We will be married 3 years this June19 and this is the first time I've felt this way. "Home" was always Mom's house but I felt more like an outsider this time around!
Is it weird that I took this long to feel that living with DH and being a family unit with him is "home" to me?! We did the long distance relationship thing for 2 years before we got married and would go months w/o seeing each other so missing him terribly in just 2 weeks is definitely a new phenomenon for me! I'd love to hear from you guys when it was that you realized -or if you ever realized - your partner was your "home"!
I don't know exactly when it happened (I guess it snuck up on me, or maybe I've been married too long to remember when it happened!), but you are absolutely right about my spouse feeling like home. What a wonderful description!
It was probably after my son was born (4/95 three years into my marriage) that i started really getting the feeling of unfailing love, caring and loyalty to my wife and son.
Fortunately it's never been tested as she and my mother get along great (too well I think sometimes). When my wife and my sister had a mild spat over some forgotten thing I automatically leaned towards my wife's so-called side. It just seemed natural to do so. After all, she's my wife.
"Home" was always Mom's house but I felt more like an outsider this time around!
Well, this more applies to when I moved away from my family, but I was single at the time. It probably took me a couple years before I referred to Florida as "home". The more I went back, the more I realized when I was there, I could not wait to get back "home" to Florida. Now, I don't even like going to visit, but unfortunately my family still lives there.
I realized it this morning about 4:00am. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years but I've know him for ten. The last five years have been very challenging, especially when we relocated,to say the least. Sometimes, we feel like we're on a little island where no one else exist and that's fine with me.
once there was a way, to get back homeward..........
houses are but timber and mortar, but homes are where we "live" where love is made, dreams are born, and angels smile, they are our anchor in life.
i remember when my son was an infant, i still felt compelled to drag him all over the state to visit 6 different relatives for christmas,,the next year,,,first wife said,,the hell with that, we are going to enjoy christmas as a family,,if they want to visit, they are welcome, and she was right,,, i felt an obligation to still see my grandmothers, knowing they wouldnt be around forever, and they probly wouldnt come to our place on xmas. and,,it was a "tradition" since i was 3 yrs old, was always at her dinner at xmas, and to give that up,,was giving up part of my childhood,,(my thoughts) but it really wasnt, (also didnt want to miss seeing my brother and sister (from out of state)
my sons mother was right, it was difficult for me to finally cut that tie to tradition,,and i always thought ,,this may be the last xmas i could enjoy my grandmother (she was gettin old)
outside of holidays, after i was 18, i was on my own, no help from anyone, so , i worked and worked and worked all the time,,for a decent place to live.
and that was my anchor.
[quote=mainebrokerman;930496]once there was a way, to get back homeward..........
houses are but timber and mortar, but homes are where we "live" where love is made, dreams are born, and angels smile, they are our anchor in life.quote] Outstanding MBM!!!
I went to an island (alone) basically then, it was unihabited by tourists (hate noise)....the first time was over Christmas and New Years...God, it was the most spiritual experience of my entire life, other then birthing my son...anyway...my cottage was 50 feet from the sea...I would sit outside in the mornings with my coffee and watch the sun rise, and in the evenings, communing with nature watching the sunsets over the placid sea, which appeared like an endless golden pond. mmmm mmmm very spirtually deep!
Well, I do love nature....and for the first time in my life, I felt reborn, alive, new, and that is what really started a very profound growth...one of which I'm so thankful for...I somehow knew, I was home.. and there was no loss that would take it away, ever..
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I don't know exactly when it happened (I guess it snuck up on me, or maybe I've been married too long to remember when it happened!), but you are absolutely right about my spouse feeling like home. What a wonderful description!
So Ironic
Home IS Where the Heart Is.
