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Honestly, had your father had a proper will in place you would have not been faced with this scenario. Had he had the foresight, he could have also opted to allocated a portion of the inheritance into a separate account for his biological children and grandchildren and the balance brought into his joint account with his new wife.
An inheritance is just a transfer of an estate. The beneficiary has the right to do with it what they want, including spend it all. There is no requirement that they pass it on to anyone in particular, family included. However, in a relationship where trust exists, people talk about these issues and don't make unilateral decisions that shut a spouse out. When they do there are likely other problems in the relationship.
Thank you for stating that so succiently. I just wish my father would do that.
I WEAR these shoes and we're talking more than half a million. I disagree, wholeheartedly. It's hers to do as she sees fit. Her father left it to HER. If he had wanted to leave it to HIM he could have done that, easily, by naming him in his will. He chose not to. She should honor her father's wishes. If my father in law wanted me to inherit part of his estate, he could have done that. He chose not to. It was his money to do as he saw fit and he saw fit to leave it to his children not their spouses.
But now it is HERS to do with as SHE wishes and SHE isn't sharing. Her choice in the matter. That she is honoring her father's wishes is nonsense.
Not that I recommend this BUT the OP could easily decide that the money that HE earns is HIS- have fun paying your half of the bills honey!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ameiko
I hope that this doesn't eat away at your marriage; I know it would mine because I can't stand such selfishness- jsut glad I'm not married.
You can't stand rationality.
Huh? You have NO basis for saying that. I am one of the more rational posters here. That people do not like (even as they can not out argue) my views does not me me irrational.
Nice attack btw- I wished him well even as I commented that I could never stand such a thing in my marriage, assuming I was married. When you married, two become one and that includes finances which also includes inheritances. If you are not going to follow that guideline, why bother getting married?
I can tell you why my grandmothers opened up a separate bank account for their inheritances and for when they began receiving old age pensions and that may or may not shed light on why your wife did what she did.
My grandmothers, as was usual then, did not work outside the home at a so-called 'real' job. Aside from family allowance, pension monies was the first time they had felt they had a kind of personal power. It is one thing to have a good provider as a husband - and even a generous good provider - but for them I think it was the first time they had felt they had money they didn't have to 'explain' their purchases to their husbands, if only in their heads.
If you've always received a pay cheque, even if it went to supporting your family I don't think that you realize what a boost it gives a house wife to have a form of financial independence.
I don't think it is any reflection on you at all. My grandmothers certainly did not mean anything negative against their husbands but it was as if the money, which came addressed purely to them, validatedor justified them in their own eyes- even though my grandfathers were well-off and were not the the type to demand an explanation.
However hard they worked in their lives, as housekeepers and child-rearers, by the simple fact of not having a regular pay cheque with their name on it, a part of them felt powerless.
I haven't read every post in this thread so I apologize if I'm repeating or missing something. But I think you should let go of your anger. Your wife probably feels it and that alone makes her feel defensive about 'her' money.
Women have been stashing money away from their husbands since the beginning of time - there's a tradition almost, of women in the past getting to keep the 'egg' money - because women are worriers and having a nest egg tucked away for some future emergency makes us feel better. If you let it go, she in turn may let go of some of her fears about 'her' nest egg disappearing and share it with you.
I asked Mrs. CPG about this last night. My wife, a wise woman, said, "You know, when you working hard and I was at home with the children earning nothing, you never considered the money you earned to be your money. If I inherited money, I would feel the same way. It's our money, and that's all there is to it."
I asked Mrs. CPG about this last night. My wife, a wise woman, said, "You know, when you working hard and I was at home with the children earning nothing, you never considered the money you earned to be your money. If I inherited money, I would feel the same way. It's our money, and that's all there is to it."
A true partnership here, thats the way it should be in a marriage. Sadly its often not the case.
cpg.....your lucky to have a long standing marriage of mutual trust, the OPs wife doesn't trust him after 32yrs and the crux of the issue, he holds the answers. The money is still hers in Canada with or without his name on the account, its inherititence (someone can correct me if I've read that wrong). Theres more going on here, I'm not sure you've read the entire thread.
A true partnership here, thats the way it should be in a marriage. Sadly its often not the case.
As someone said to me in a rep comment, if someone is not sharing money with his or her spouse after 32 years of marriage, there's probably a really good reason for it. I have a sneaking suspicion the OP's wife knows something we don't.
cpg.....your lucky to have a long standing marriage of mutual trust, the OPs wife doesn't trust him after 32yrs and the crux of the issue, he holds the answers. The money is still hers in Canada with or without his name on the account, its inherititence (someone can correct me if I've read that wrong). Theres more going on here, I'm not sure you've read the entire thread.
I would say luck has very little to do with it.
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