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Weird google ads on this thread. I see "Criminal records" and "criminal law" which make sense given the context, but the third one is "date sexy Latin women." I wonder why that is...
For 10 years this person has demonstrated to you that they are trustworthy, decent, good, and apparently above reproach.
Nothing about the person you know has changed. The only thing that has changed is your knowledge about who they were over 18 years ago. I think many of us would hate to be held up in comparison with who we were 18+ years ago.
Agree with this in theory but... I think part of me would still really want to know why they were sent to prison for such a significant amount of time. For example, what if they were sent in for pedophelia or sexual assault, would I want them near my children?
IDK, I believe in redemption & moving on so I could continue to maintain a friendship, but like the OP, I would want to know more.
The person told me why they went to prison --- it wasn't for any sexual crime or any crime against children; it was a stupid act done while the person was wasted/drunk. Thankfully, no one was hurt and the property damage was minimal but the judge gave a maximum sentence because the person had one prior felony.
I think what I want to know is what happened in prison, what was it like, how could YOU be in prison, etc??? This person is the absolute last person I would ever think of even getting a traffic ticket no less being in prison. I guess it's just dumb curiosity on my part.
I do trust this person and would like to remain friends with them. I just hope I can stop looking at them differently and think about "prison" every time I look at them. Ugh.
For 10 years this person has demonstrated to you that they are trustworthy, decent, good, and apparently above reproach.
Nothing about the person you know has changed. The only thing that has changed is your knowledge about who they were over 18 years ago. I think many of us would hate to be held up in comparison with who we were 18+ years ago.
Okay, so I've known this person for about 10 years. This is a friend, not a romantic partner. Anyway, this is a very nice person, kind, hard working, etc. An all around good person.
Well, this person recently confided to me that they have a criminal past and had spent a number of years in prison. To say I was shocked would be putting it mildly.
(from this point forward, I will be using the word "they" instead of he or she because I don't want anyone who might know me or the other person to figure out who it is)
From what I was told, they had a very bad life, no parental guidance whatsoever, was in abusive relationships, drug/alcohol abuser, etc. They eventually committed an act that landed them in prison for about 8 years. When this person was in prison, their entire life turned around.... getting counseling, working on issues, getting a college degree, volunteering to help others, etc.
In the entire time I've known this person, they've been as straight as straight can be and has conservative viewpoints and honestly believes that people who committ crimes should go to prison for what they've done. This person has always worked and, from what I've seen, is always doing the right thing.
Now, here's my issue. Would you be able to trust a person if you found out that they've been in prison for such a long time??? I was fine with everything until I found out. Now, I look at this person in a different way and am dying to know all the details on everything. They don't want to talk about it because it's so far in the past and not their life anymore.
What would you do?
It is public information. You can find out. Most states have websites. If not, get the information from the county.
To me, that would be a violation of trust. This person trusted me enough to tell me what they told me -- including the crime information. I don't need to play Sherlock Holmes to dig deeper and get information this person isn't ready to share with me yet.
My curiousity doesn't lay in the crime --- it's more about how could this person have been in prison?? Especially for EIGHT YEARS. It just boggles my mind because this person is just so straight, conservative, etc. I just can't imagine what it was like in there or how they even survived it. They obviously did and came out a much better person but still.
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