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My curiousity doesn't lay in the crime --- it's more about how could this person have been in prison?? Especially for EIGHT YEARS. It just boggles my mind because this person is just so straight, conservative, etc. I just can't imagine what it was like in there or how they even survived it. They obviously did and came out a much better person but still.
Honestly, it's still the same answer I gave earlier... remember, you've known them for over 10 years. They spent 8 years in prison. Even assuming you met them the day after they were released, it was still a minimum of 18 years ago that they first set foot inside the prison walls.
And yes, at that time, they were a person who was capable of getting drunk/high/whatever and committing at least two felonies. And while "felony" sounds really big and bad, keep in mind that there are a whole lot of "felonies" that seem really minor in the big scheme of things. I know of someone who was charged with a felony for using someone else's calling card to make phone calls across state lines - all it took was a bad breakup and the "victim" claiming they hadn't given consent for the card to be used. It didn't lead to conviction, but it was a heck of a mess proving that permission had been granted.
There are varying degrees of felonies, and it can be as simple as a friend giving you a stereo that turns out to be stolen... that's receipt of stolen goods, and is a felony in most (perhaps all) jurisdictions.
It sounds like being imprisoned actually gave them the opportunity to change who they are... so it makes perfect sense that you can't imagine the person you know today surviving so long in prison. But it was that very same prison time you can't imagine which allowed them to grow into the amazing person you know today. In some ways, it's like the metamorphosis from caterpillar to cocoon to butterfly. Children have a hard time making the connection between the pretty wings and peaceful presence of a butterfly with the caterpillar it started life as... or imagining how the metamorphosis happens during the cocoon stage.
I mean, I don't know about anyone else... but I'm perfectly fine with a butterfly landing on my finger... and even feel privileged to have it perch there for a moment. But have a caterpillar do the same thing, crawling from a branch to my finger... and I'm completely squicked out. Nor am I interested in examining a cocoon too closely. LOL
Believe it or not, you will eventually be able to wrap your mind around your friend's past, and rectify it with who they are today. We are each of us a sum of our experiences, they are no exception. They took a very bad situation, and some apparently negative traits, and turned it all into success. If anything, I'd say they're pretty inspirational.
They're also lucky to have a friend who is willing to work through their initial shock as you are... so many people are so quick to judge and leave it at that. Too few look for deeper understanding. Good for you for being one of the few.
To me, that would be a violation of trust. This person trusted me enough to tell me what they told me -- including the crime information. I don't need to play Sherlock Holmes to dig deeper and get information this person isn't ready to share with me yet.
My curiousity doesn't lay in the crime --- it's more about how could this person have been in prison?? Especially for EIGHT YEARS. It just boggles my mind because this person is just so straight, conservative, etc. I just can't imagine what it was like in there or how they even survived it. They obviously did and came out a much better person but still.
They were NOT the victim. I would have to read the case. Also, a prior felony??
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,004,411 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007
You've been friends for 10 years without incident and view this person a decent citizen and person. Let it lay. If this is someone you just met and didn't have such a long history with then I would be suspicious.
I agree with this. I also think people who have paid their debt deserve another chance until and unless they prove otherwise.
I tried to be okay with it. I married someone I thought had changed...but I guess he didnt. I gave him the benefit of the doubt....and here I am.
He assaulted me today. He is in jail. Up until today I was afraid to call the Police for fear that nobody would believe me or that hed retaliate.
I think once a criminal...always a criminal.
People dont change.
you are wrong about people...they do eventually change. It is something that happens slowly over years of experiencing the harshness of life.....like death of mothers and father or siblings, being homeless, holding a sign that says will work for food while standing in the rain....your fear of your husband retaliating is just part of you starting to change....see? people do change. what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger
Yes!!! Never risk more than you can afford to lose.
Really we do not know this guy has not committed more crimes. Just that he has not gotten caught.
Um, to be honest, you don't know that about anyone unless you've run a full background check on them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Driller1
They were NOT the victim. I would have to read the case. Also, a prior felony??
Any number of relatively minor crimes can be felonies, including:
- Filing a false claim that a crime as been committed. This includes calling 911 as a practical joke and falsely accusing someone of a crime.
- Violation of weapons laws on county, state, or federal level. Included with the violation are carrying a firearm without a permit or bringing firearms or other weapons into a federal building. (Wingsy adds: This can include carrying a switchblade in jurisdictions where one is not permitted, having a blade that is too long, etc.)
- Reporting or placing a fake bomb threat. This also includes placing equipment in a location that is constructed to appear to be a bomb. (Wingsy adds: When I was in HS, three different students pulled this... I believe all they got was a detention... 20+ years makes a lot of difference.)
- Unlawful sale of weapons or firearms. This also including sales that involve the aid of minors.
- Fraud (i.e., writing bad checks). (Wingsy adds: Or using someone's calling card without their permission)
- Possession of stolen merchandise (i.e., automobiles, parts, stereoes, etc.). (Wingsy adds: You're screwed if your idiot brother-in-law gives you a stolen stereo for Christmas)
- D.U.I. This varies from state to state. In some states a defendent must receive a specific number of D.U.I. convictions before the crime is considered a felony. (Wingsy adds: I don't actually consider this a minor infraction)
These are all felonies... several of which can have as much to do with ignorance or the stupidity of youth as they do with "criminal intent." But they are still felonies, they still count under most state's Three Strikes laws, they're still taken into consideration for sentencing, etc.
But they don't automatically make someone a bad person, or untrustworthy. Stupid, perhaps.
The only person I know who I also know for certain has a felony conviction actually is a bad person. He's psychotic. Clinically. That doesn't mean other people I know and love don't have felony convictions... I just don't know about it... and I don't really care to know. Who they are now, in my life, is a good person, someone I can trust. I don't need to know that they made some stupid choices years ago. And I wouldn't know unless they told me or were once again caught breaking the law. Which is basically true for everyone we interact with, no matter who they are.
Um, to be honest, you don't know that about anyone unless you've run a full background check on them.
Any number of relatively minor crimes can be felonies, including:
- Filing a false claim that a crime as been committed. This includes calling 911 as a practical joke and falsely accusing someone of a crime.
- Violation of weapons laws on county, state, or federal level. Included with the violation are carrying a firearm without a permit or bringing firearms or other weapons into a federal building. (Wingsy adds: This can include carrying a switchblade in jurisdictions where one is not permitted, having a blade that is too long, etc.)
- Reporting or placing a fake bomb threat. This also includes placing equipment in a location that is constructed to appear to be a bomb. (Wingsy adds: When I was in HS, three different students pulled this... I believe all they got was a detention... 20+ years makes a lot of difference.)
- Unlawful sale of weapons or firearms. This also including sales that involve the aid of minors.
- Fraud (i.e., writing bad checks). (Wingsy adds: Or using someone's calling card without their permission)
- Possession of stolen merchandise (i.e., automobiles, parts, stereoes, etc.). (Wingsy adds: You're screwed if your idiot brother-in-law gives you a stolen stereo for Christmas)
- D.U.I. This varies from state to state. In some states a defendent must receive a specific number of D.U.I. convictions before the crime is considered a felony. (Wingsy adds: I don't actually consider this a minor infraction)
These are all felonies... several of which can have as much to do with ignorance or the stupidity of youth as they do with "criminal intent." But they are still felonies, they still count under most state's Three Strikes laws, they're still taken into consideration for sentencing, etc.
But they don't automatically make someone a bad person, or untrustworthy. Stupid, perhaps.
The only person I know who I also know for certain has a felony conviction actually is a bad person. He's psychotic. Clinically. That doesn't mean other people I know and love don't have felony convictions... I just don't know about it... and I don't really care to know. Who they are now, in my life, is a good person, someone I can trust. I don't need to know that they made some stupid choices years ago. And I wouldn't know unless they told me or were once again caught breaking the law. Which is basically true for everyone we interact with, no matter who they are.
Yep, all people I would want in my life.
Generally youth offenders have sealed files. Unless it was bad enough to be charged as an adult.
I am just saying I could never decide without reading the conviction.
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