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It is very easy to tell someone they are looking for sympathy, because you haven't been in their shoes. Leaving an abusive relationship is NOT easy. There were times I felt like I almost deserved what he was doing to me even though now I know deep down I was a good wife to him. I have text messages and e-mails from him saying I was everything he could have asked for in a wife. My conscience is clean. I did not bring this upon myself. I felt guilty at times, I felt like I wasn't good enough and that everything was all my fault...and I tried to fix it. But now I know there was absolutely nothing to be fixed.
I only found out about his abusive past on a trip to Canada when the Canadian Border patrol would not let him in Canada because of assault / harassment chargers dating back to 2003. I was surprised and upset. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt; that it was all in his past and that he maybe had changed. Well he hasn't and he never will.
I have told him to leave and he won't. There is nothing I can do legally to get him out of my lease unless he signs a paper and he did NOT want to sign it.
And I was not able to leave because he wouldn't release me from our lease! I can't just move out and leave him with everything, including the dog ( he claims everything here is his even though he did absolutely nothing for a whole year. He hasn't worked or looked for a job since late May of last year. I am aware that we're married and there is no his and hers but he doesn't deserve a dime! )
However, per Colorado law I can be removed from the lease without his consent because of the domestic violence and the charges pressed against him. So that is exactly what I am doing.
I am packing everything and I am getting away from here. I am going to be in contact with the DA so I can go to court whenever I am needed there.
I am scared because I don't know what lies ahead. I know I am going to cry at times but now I know I have made the right decision. It's time for me to be around people who truly care about me and want the best for me.
This is completely normal and why most people stay in unhappy situations. I'm concern about your finishing school, but the last time I checked, they had schools in Canada.
Do you have brothers, male cousins, someone who can stay with you until you can get packed up and leave?
Because you are absolutely right: you really need a strong support system now. And being surrounded by people who love you is the best support you can get. Best of Luck.
Have you read any of the responses ??? I was not necessarily addressing whether physical violence is right or wrong. Only that people are making blanket recommendations of arrangements and coming to stone-clad conclusions without knowing the whole story. I agree with you wholeheartedly with what you said.
What exactly would you like to hear? The guy is a coward. End of story. If you want to be a coward and punch women, forget about getting your side of the story heard. I hope he's getting his chin punched in jail, today.
You need to tell people all the facts before you ask their opinions. Otherwise, I base my opinion on the statements you've already made within this thread. I dont know how you'd know if he'd become lazy or refuse to work after you got out of the military..what did he tell you his longterm employment plans were when you two were dating?
How about you do a thread search before you make insensitive comments? She has another thread about this jerk so the regulars/long timers are familiar with her story.
KAAC, you need to do whatever it takes to get away from this loser, Even if it means an extended stay at family and friends' homes, please get away from him ASAP because if not, your mom is going to be picking out a black dress. I don't advocate violence of any kinds but if possible, round up your father, male cousins and friends, brother(s) (if you have any) and have them handle this fool. Any man who lays a hand to a woman without provocation is a coward.
KAAC, you need to do whatever it takes to get away from this loser, Even if it means an extended stay at family and friends' homes, please get away from him ASAP because if not, your mom is going to be picking out a black dress. I don't advocate violence of any kinds but if possible, round up your father, male cousins and friends, brother(s) (if you have any) and have them handle this fool. Any man who lays a hand to a woman without provocation is a coward.
I agree 100%. Nothing is more disgusting than a coward that wants to punch a woman. However, its not worth it for the rest of her family to go to jail for assault.
The best thing she can do is press charges. Trust me, he'll get his in jail.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthsideJacksonville
KAAC, you need to do whatever it takes to get away from this loser, Even if it means an extended stay at family and friends' homes, please get away from him ASAP because if not, your mom is going to be picking out a black dress. I don't advocate violence of any kinds but if possible, round up your father, male cousins and friends, brother(s) (if you have any) and have them handle this fool.Any man who lays a hand to a woman without provocation is a coward.
That's just it, these bullies think they are provoked one way or another, she said something stupid, she wasn't listening, she didn't fix him what he wanted for dinner, she didn't take his stance on a political issue...he never runs out of reasons sheprovoked him.
The funny thing is, bullies will never go against someone they know will hand their a$$ to them. It's always a bully trying someone smaller or weaker than them
Moderator cut: snip
Go to a safe shelter..seek help...if you really want to get away you can.
Your life is the way you want it to be..not what he tells you..
Educate yourself...
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KickassArmychick, I know people post a lot of songs youtube wise to various threads, but here is one that means something to what you are going through.
Seether is one of my favorite newer bands, seems a lot of their songs touch on issues people and they have gone through.
While I haven't been physically abused before, I have had my mind played with like rubic's cube also.
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