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I can only answer with what my thoughts are.
Either youre single, married, or taken. If youre married or taken, youre not single. Being single, like I am (or divorced, whichever term one uses), means you are not committed to anyone unless you have it in your own mind that you are. There are many single and divorced people in this forum, but they dont outweigh the married or committed ones. Engaged ones are technically 'taken', they are getting married.
Does that make sense?? It wasnt supposed to.
IMO, if you are in any kind of a committed relationship you are not single or available. Single means just that, available. Whether you are married, engaged or just in a serious LTR, you aren't supposed to be available for you to cheat or do whatever you like, when you like! If you want to be single, stay out of a relationship. Casual dating with no commitments is different and you both agree to date around or see other people. It almost sounds like some people can't hold up their end of the deal!
We live in a crazy world and if u r not married u r single. Now I don't know if that means u r necessarily fair game, but it may mean exactly that. It is up to the person who is committed to someone to ward off advances from people outside of the relationship. U can't expect someone to back off just because...
No. You are not single if both partners have agreed on mutual sexual exclusivity. I was with my now husband for 21 years before we got married. We stopped being single within a couple of weeks dating.
Marriage has nothing to do with anything. Commitment does not begin with marriage. It begins with a stable and loving relationship. Many people nowadays do not marry for years, some never and are still both committed and not single.
Being married is more a state of mind thna a legal document. As far as hubby and I were concerned we were "married" over 21 years ago but only got around to the officialisation of our life together last year.
Answers on this forum run a wide range.
Generally the committed person should let their status be known and the asker should ask to know if it is not obvious(a ring or already mentioned in conversation up front.)
My gentleman answer - If a woman says she is taken in commitment/monogamy then I will turn on my heel and kindly leave.
My dog answer - As long as her answer is yes she is fair game.
Have not done the dog thing yet but I am getting older and when the probabilities start waning I may leave the gentleman behind.
They're not saying they're purposely going around looking for men who are already involved but that men are always exploring their options and it's the women who play wife and give 100% when they're not getting it in return and they refuse to cheat themselves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shysister
What are your thoughts?
my thoughts are that a marriage and a "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship are both committments. when you chase guys who have girlfriends, and succeed, then you will end up with a guy who has a history of breaking committments.
therefore, your friends are probably right, in regards to the people they associate with. in light of their chronic inability to make smart decisions, they probably DO end up with guys who are "always exploring their options," and therefore should come up with some equally trashy defense mechanism to deal with it.
if he is living with another woman, he is not available. he is also a cheater if he sees you, this should be a head up but for many woman its not. we live in a strange society, we only have male cheaters. in greece its the tempter that is evil-- here its the one with the erection.
As they move along in their daily activities they make it known.
When Mr. New guy comes along they seem to let it be known they are taken. HOWEVER, shortly there after "Mr. New guy" gets a call informing him that they are now in a single state.
How soon some women get over a long term relationship.
So it's like they all have a relationship so as to not look different but then when they see something new they want they dump their current boyfriend and pursue the new eye candy.
IMO, if you are in any kind of a committed relationship you are not single or available. Single means just that, available. Whether you are married, engaged or just in a serious LTR, you aren't supposed to be available for you to cheat or do whatever you like, when you like! If you want to be single, stay out of a relationship. Casual dating with no commitments is different and you both agree to date around or see other people. It almost sounds like some people can't hold up their end of the deal!
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