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So are you saying because she was chinese with a white fetish she was better suited for a white guy and not a hispanic man who knew her and would've taken care of her? Problem is that we BELIEVE a type is better suited for us be we really know nothing until we try. Most women I know will stick to what they know and never venture. Then they wonder why they can't find a great guy. Stop tripping over the same ditch, choose a new path and see where it takes you.
The essence of my point is this. People have likes, dislikes, proclivities, and tendencies. You seem offended that she likes white guys, why?
I don't get the issue here. Dating really is discriminatory. If a guy really likes big boobs, or short hair, and finds these traits attractive in women in general, why is it wrong for him to date women with these characteristics?
By the by, I may sound unsympathetic, but I don't mean it.
To me, it's no different from saying "I prefer Dairy Milk to Herschey's" or "I find Gateway netbooks perform better than Acer brands". Favouritism is part of life, no?
as has been stated, preferences are normal. It's her own right/prerogative.
I only would consider dating southern Asian women. No other ethnicity qualifies. I don't see it as being discriminatory or exclusionary, but such is life, I like what I like.
You're obviously entitled to your preference, but it is still by definition discriminatory/exclusionary.
So are you saying because she was chinese with a white fetish she was better suited for a white guy and not a hispanic man who knew her and would've taken care of her? Problem is that we BELIEVE a type is better suited for us be we really know nothing until we try. Most women I know will stick to what they know and never venture. Then they wonder why they can't find a great guy. Stop tripping over the same ditch, choose a new path and see where it takes you.
Women like her don't think in terms of practicality (Will this guy be good to me even though he doesn't fit my paradigm?), rather blind adherence to an ideal. Many times, they might even find themselves viscerally attracted to someone who indeed happens to be a divergence from their paradigm, but would go to great lengths to rationalize why it wouldn't work between them to avoid the sting of cognitive dissonance and dedication to the ideal.
To those women I would simply bid a hasty farewell, as there are plenty who are indeed smart enough not to let their capacity to love and be loved be curtailed by such self-imposed, superficial delusion.
I only see dating preferences as wrong if they are based on offensive, bigoted or irrational bases. If a woman has a PhD, is only wanting to date other educated persons wrong?
Dating preferences are also about best fit. After experience, it could turn out that x persons are a better fit.
I only see dating preferences as wrong if they are based on offensive, bigoted or irrational bases. If a woman has a PhD, is only wanting to date other educated persons wrong?
Dating preferences are also about best fit. After experience, it could turn out that x persons are a better fit.
While preferences are by definition discriminatory, they are not necessarily right or wrong in themselves. They are almost always learned, and yes are sometimes based on irrational preconceptions and prejudices. That of course matters little to the one doing the preferring and the one being preferred.
Women like her don't think in terms of practicality (Will this guy be good to me even though he doesn't fit my paradigm?), rather blind adherence to an ideal. Many times, they might even find themselves viscerally attracted to someone who indeed happens to be a divergence from their paradigm, but would go to great lengths to rationalize why it wouldn't work between them to avoid the sting of cognitive dissonance and dedication to the ideal.
To those women I would simply bid a hasty farewell, as there are plenty who are indeed smart enough not to let their capacity to love and be loved curtailed by such self-imposed, superficial delusion.
I love this answer. There is nothing in this statement I don't agree with. I read this and I remember the great lengths she took to rationalize her point of view.
While preferences are by definition discriminatory, they are not necessarily right or wrong in themselves. They are almost always learned, and yes are sometimes based on irrational preconceptions and prejudices. That of course matters little to the one doing the preferring and the one being preferred.
I disagree in that preferences can be discriminatory. Why do you think no one who has these types of preferences will admit the actual REASONS why they have selected on group over another.
I do agree that this way of thinking is learned but the question is from where? Society, the media? It's like when this subject came up she was a different person. Like she had a code she could not break and she'll get defensive if she becomes dangerously close. It's a warped way of thinking.
The essence of my point is this. People have likes, dislikes, proclivities, and tendencies. You seem offended that she likes white guys, why?
I don't get the issue here. Dating really is discriminatory. If a guy really likes big boobs, or short hair, and finds these traits attractive in women in general, why is it wrong for him to date women with these characteristics?
I don't care that it happens to be white guys. It could be black or asian for all I care. What matters is the preference is used as a reason to turn down people who are otherwise great for them. Not like I can change my race to suit her so called "needs". If it was stronger men I'd work out, more intelligence I'd get a PHD. To me love has no obstacles. But to say I'm the wrong color is a shock. What makes it strange is that to her it's not racist, it just how it always was because it's all she knows. I don't even hate her, I almost feel bad for her. I feel her search for a perfect whiteguy will lead her to blindly pursue someone who may or may not be right for her. One day she could realize that she's old and her "trophy" hates her now.
PS: I do admit that I find it annoying that she will almost surely find a white guy since the opposite stereotype is also true. Any white guy with an asian fetish will pursue a cute chinese woman like her. It's like these stereotypes were designed for each other. By the way I find it annoying because someone with a narrow mind will have her way in this society. Not because it's a white guy. I have close friends of multiple races.
I know my preference right now is a pretty Latina women with a career job but haven't been too successful on my hunt. Not going to give up
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