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Our relationship is very good outside of the sex part. However, we have been unable to have a baby after 2 years of trying.
Maybe this is why I find myself extremly attacted to girls a few years younger than me.
Well that explains a lot...trying for a baby is a psychological/emotional/physical roller coaster. Have you been to a doctor and/or a therapist for this?
Well that explains a lot...trying for a baby is a psychological/emotional/physical roller coaster. Have you been to a doctor and/or a therapist for this?
yes, fertility doctor. My sperm count is in the top 1%. I've gotten 3 tests and the dr. says my results are the some of the best they've ever seen.
Our relationship is very good outside of the sex part. However, we have been unable to have a baby after 2 years of trying.
Maybe this is why I find myself extremly attacted to girls a few years younger than me.
Well that bit of information would've been useful earlier. It negate a lot of the advice you've been getting. I'm sure if you're not the problem then she believes she is which can't be good for her self esteem let alone her sex drive. A woman without confidence is a dead fish in bed.
What is "sexually compatible"? They both want it the same number of times a week, in the same position, in the same room? If that's the case, my husband and I are absolutely not compatible--and I'd hazard a guess that not many people are.
There are too many factors to consider when it comes to this topic. Sometimes, 2 people who want it the same amount of time in the same room in the same position still don't enjoy having sex with each other. The just don't blend. But yeah, it also has to do with the drive.
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I could go months without sex and not even realize I was missing it--it's just not on my radar. My husband wants it multiple times a week. I love my husband--so guess what? We have sex frequently, because that's how I can show him I love him.
Well, good for your husband, but it doesn't work like that in many marriages.
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I show him love in the ways that he wants and understands it best, and he shows me love in the ways I want and understand it best (we devote a block of time every day to uninterrupted conversation without other distractions). My husband is not a talker, and it's a huge struggle for him to share emotions and feelings, but he knows it's important to me so he does it! We're both working to become a better spouse for the other, because that's what love is.
Well, that's all very good for you and your husband, but how is this helpful for the OP? He is already starting to get attracted to other girls. Now we are finding out that his wife's inability to give him a child is also affecting their marriage.
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Too many people enter marriage with a "what's in it for me?" mentality. Marriage is about both people giving 100%--it's not 50/50. When they calculate their spreadsheet and realize they aren't getting enough, they want out. That's pretty darn crummy, in my opinion. Marriage isn't for YOU. It's for the two of you, together. It's a lifetime commitment that shouldn't be ended because someone's sex drive fades, or someone gets wrinkles and gray hair.
I agree with all of the above, but I think this lecture on marriage is not applicable here. Seems like OP and his wife get along great aside from sex. This has nothing to do with "what's in it for me"?
However, we have been unable to have a baby after 2 years of trying.
This in itself can be lethal to a woman's sex drive and her view of herself as a woman. With this new information, it definitely sounds like counseling is in order.
I agree with all of the above, but I think this lecture on marriage is not applicable here. Seems like OP and his wife get along great aside from sex. This has nothing to do with "what's in it for me"?
It has everything to do with "what's in it for me"! The sex isn't good enough for him, so he wants to find someone else who can give it to him. That sounds pretty self-centered to me. No where does the OP ask for ways to help his wife enjoy sex more, become more confident, how to make her feel better, how to improve his marriage. The title of the thread is basically "I'm not happy, I want out." Me, me, me.
Now we learn that they're attempting to have a child, and dealing with the roller coaster of infertility. And still, it's all about him and his sexual pleasure.
Our relationship is very good outside of the sex part. However, we have been unable to have a baby after 2 years of trying.
Maybe this is why I find myself extremly attacted to girls a few years younger than me.
I agree with the others - this information could have been a lot more helpful in your OP.
I personally know of one couple who's focus on trying to conceive almost brought their marriage to an end. Sex does become a chore, when it's purpose is no longer about enjoyment and is reduced to mechanics: when, how often, it stops being fun.
In this case, counseling and talking to your wife is definitely in order. Maybe you guys need to take a breather from trying so hard and learn to reconnect and just enjoy being with each other.
It has everything to do with "what's in it for me"! The sex isn't good enough for him, so he wants to find someone else who can give it to him. That sounds pretty self-centered to me. No where does the OP ask for ways to help his wife enjoy sex more, become more confident, how to make her feel better, how to improve his marriage. The title of the thread is basically "I'm not happy, I want out." Me, me, me.
Now we learn that they're attempting to have a child, and dealing with the roller coaster of infertility. And still, it's all about him and his sexual pleasure.
I guess in the way you are right. As I mentioned earlier (last night), that I thought OP hasn't put any effort in improving his sexual life with his wife. At least nothing in his post indicated that.
I think he is blaming his wife for not being able to conceive and he gets turned off even more as he already wasn't too attracted to her to begin with.
That's why so many suggested divorce. For the fact that he just simply doesn't seem to be into her and sooner or later I forsee infidelities happening.
I expect you'll regret it down the road, but oh well. Live and learn, eh?
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