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There is a very fine and sometimes indistinguishable line between getting over your last SO and just plain being lonely and tired of waiting for the next relationship to start.
Isn't it hard to tell the difference? you are bored and lonely at home on Friday night, so you think of your ex. Or maybe you spend time mulling over the details (he said, she said) even if the sentiment is gone. But that doesn't change all of the things about your relationship that weren't working.
Really, truly over, that moment when my heart no longer hurts just alittle when I think of him? 10 years
Yeah, I think for a lot of us, our answers would be measured in years as well. I mean, I still missed and truly loved my exwife for at least 3 years since our divorce. Eh, I probably still love her now, 10 years later. But the "getting over" part, as in no longer letting the breakup directly effect my life, that was only 9 months.
And I actually remember the exact day. It was like a switch got thrown. I woke up and all the sudden I stopped hurting and I could smile again. I knew I had overcome it.
My father met an incredible woman in '88 and married her in '89. Her cancer came back about a month before her 5yr remission anniversary. We lost her in '92 after a very brave fight against the odds. My father remarried in '01 and is still married. He still cries for his deceased partner, his heart still hurts, and in many ways, he's just waiting for his time to join her. He only visits her grave either alone or with one of us kids out of respect for his current wife, but falls apart each time.
I am personally many years and counting. I had a true love, maybe soul mate type personality, cross my path very briefly in my younger days. We just weren't destined to be together, it couldn't work out. His presence is always in the back of my mind despite not seeing or talking to him in a very, very long time.
As for my ex-husband, together 8 and married 6 - I'm at about 1 yr since we split and it is still a work in progress.
Sure I have. Hell I've probably had longer, healthier relationships than a lot of posters on here. My advice reflects that most of the time.
But getting over someone hasn't been a big issue for me, whether I've had a loving relationship for 6 months or 3 years. I pretty much take some time to reflect, then pick myself up and move on. For some it takes a while, for others it doesn't that much time.
Sure I have. Hell I've probably had longer, healthier relationships than a lot of posters on here. My advice reflects that most of the time.
But getting over someone hasn't been a big issue for me, whether I've had a loving relationship for 6 months or 3 years. I pretty much take some time to reflect, then pick myself up and move on. For some it takes a while, for others it doesn't that much time.
Sorry bud, you spend 3 years or 2 or even 1 year of your life investing in someone, loving them, caring for them...it takes longer than 2 weeks to get over them. So yeah, I don't believe you. Nope, not for a second. I doubt anyone else does either. But whatever. Maybe you're still in the denial phase.
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