Are you attracted to intelligence? (date, guy, therapy, older)

[zentropa]

People say they like intelligence, but I don't think it is enough to attract men unless there are decent looks to go along with it. I say this as a 48-yr-old woman with a high intellect and a well-paying, high profile career, but whose glory days are behind her in the looks dept. It really is a handicap.

[desertsun41]

Originally Posted by samston

different people like different things.

But intelligence (and not defined as academia, plenty of academic people are fools at everyday life) in terms of wisdom, knowing how the world works, etc. is a big turn on. Plenty of people say that intelligence means jack, and it's hollow to judge somebody on it, but we judge all the while on looks, social status/class, educational level, religion, race, interests/hobbies, etc. and none of these have a total bearing on an individual. So what gives, what is the true difference, eh?

I couldn't see myself dating a woman who had no interest in the big picture, or how the world operated. That is a part of my personality, and something that would be necessary in any potential date.

I think the real root of this attitude is pop culture, which is hardly based on logical grounds anyhow. Pop culture is just said, not meant.

I agreed with both your posts but can't REP you anymore. How true your sentence I bolded. There is a difference. We all know people who walk out those college doors for the last time with very high GPA yet they could not explain a can opener. I call that as you do, academia. There is more to being smart in school. There is street smarts too. 2 different kinds of smarts.

Ideally to me I like some of both but would take street smarts over the 4.0 dumb azz any day, any time. Whatever the case, if she can carry on a great conversation with no dead air time, she's mine!

[Chowhound]

I've said this before but, why is it that we can all say its socially acceptable to like someone for their intelligence while it's not socially acceptable to say that you like someone for their "hotness". Both can't really be controlled can they?? The smart person is born with it just as the hot person born with it.

Yet no one says shyt when they say that they like intelligence.

You say you like hot chicks and your demonized as being shallow.


Aren't they both shallow?? If you really think about it.

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

Originally Posted by Redisca

Intelligence is a major turn-on for me. Stupidity, on the other hand, incenses me in a way I can't quite describe. Even if it's combined with niceness -- which it usually isn't.

This.

[TheImportersWife]

I always liked my men smarter than me, but that doesn't say much.

And I'm constantly blown away by my husband's intelligence, but I do wonder how smart he really is? After all, he chose to marry me.

[Mooseketeer]

Intelligence is to me the sexiest attribute of all on a man. I cannot imagine a bigger turn off than someone who is a dimwit.

But intelligence does not necessarily mean formal education and I think a lot of people do tend to mix the two. I live in a very academic environment and some of the stupidest people are often ladden with college/university degrees. They can be incredibly expert on one topic and utterly ignorant of everything else. Arrogance is also a major turn off.

Intelligence to me means having an intellectual curiosity about our world and being genuinely interested in learning new stuff. Basically I like a well rounded person , someone who can be comfortable talking about History or Physics but can also be a little silly and able to "get" "The Simpsons" for example...


I think a lot of people with degrees can take themselves a tad too seriously at time and can show a remarkable snoot-levels towards those who left school at 13. That to me is abhorrent and moronic.

Two of the most intelligent people I know have no formal education whatsover and could defeat anyone in an argument by sheer knowledge and wit.

Emotional intelligence is also very sexy. A man who is manly enough to realise that being sensitive and loving is not a weakness but a strength. Someone who can empathise with others.


People who are interested in life, the universe, and the myriad of subjects under those headings make INTERESTING people. I truly find it incomprehensible how many people view learning new things as boring or are completely uninterested. I know many people who wouldn't even try to go and see a play or an opera and who judge me as a snob because I love both. I have been to football games ( which I hate) and gone to sports bars ( not really my kind of place) but they can't even be bothered to try something new.... I don't understand that at all. People who would never watch a foreign or indie film but make fun of me because I do. Reverse snobbism is just as stupid and as misguided as straight snobbism. A lack of intellectual curiosity is something I do not understand in the slightest.



Life to me is about new experiences and new adventures, intellectual , emotional and physical. We are nothing as human beings if we stagnate. There are so many things that do not appeal in life but I will always try to fight my prejudices and at least give them a go.

A man to me could never be attractive and sexy if his brains and attitude to life was boring and un-adventurous. I want someone I can grow with , someone to have by my side when I discover something fresh and new.

A beef-cake with the IQ of a "vol au vent" as about as much appeal as a piece of mouldy cheese.

One does not need formal education to be knowledgable or intelligent . Intelligence is the ability to look around and ponder the wonders of this world, appreciate its beauty and muse on its amazing polychrome marvels of ingenuity, talent etc...


I like people who challenge perceived notions , people who ask questions and try to obtain answers.

And that is available to all of us whether rich or poor and whether one is brought up in a trailer or in a mansion . Most of us are born with similar levels of intelligence. What we do with it is what matters.


Nobody who is stupid could ever be "hot" to me. I cannot even imagine finding an idiot attractive. Intelligence is what makes someone sexy. Somebody can be beautiful like a statue or a great painting but sexy is something completely different to me. Sexy is activated by the quality of his brain , the sexiest male organ for me....

[Gudra]

Originally Posted by Redisca

Intelligence is a major turn-on for me. Stupidity, on the other hand, incenses me in a way I can't quite describe. Even if it's combined with niceness -- which it usually isn't.

We have a saying ''to be stupid-proud (arrogant )''. Stupidity often's accompanied by stubborness and even threatening behaviour. Or overlooking of it (mothers enabling, for example).

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by Chowhound

I've said this before but, why is it that we can all say its socially acceptable to like someone for their intelligence while it's not socially acceptable to say that you like someone for their "hotness". Both can't really be controlled can they?? The smart person is born with it just as the hot person born with it.

Yet no one says shyt when they say that they like intelligence.

You say you like hot chicks and your demonized as being shallow.


Aren't they both shallow?? If you really think about it.

Neither of them are shallow. You like what you like.

[Gudra]

Chowhound, technically , yes. But my hubby sitting pretty isn't going to get the pipe fixed. In thesame wax ,nice , big chests don't result in bills being paid..

[dave nz]

I have a friend who is a very intelligent woman have known her since I was a child, she is pretty attractive too. But for some reason there has never been any chemistry between us and we have always been friends and nothing more. Not sure exactly why