Why does a guy assume if a woman is nice to him that she likes him? (boyfriend, husband)

[stan4]

Originally Posted by cuinlalaland

Well of course I think that guy was a creep. But he represents only a tiny fraction of men out there MOST guys don't assume friendliness or helpfulness equals sexual interest. But MOST guys do find a woman attractive if she is nice and friendly and helpful. So be forewarned...if you're nice, you might get asked out


Of course not! Take me for example. I have zero interest in hooking up with a married woman, but I'm friends with lots of married women. I make friends with them because for the most part they don't have their b**** shield up the way single women do.

That's an excellent point.

So you're friends with these married women and you do stuff with them outside of work and group social occasions...one-on-one? That's really cool.

[mchelle]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

Just ask any woman who's ever worked in a customer service job how many times she's been propositioned. It happens All The Time.

This is so true. A lot of people don't realize that we are PAID to be nice to them. I'd love to be bitchy to the people that come to the hotel so I can avoid their lame advances, but I'd lose my job!

On the bright side, most places have rules against fraternizing with guests/customers, so that can be said in awkward situations. I think the worst part is that if someone is being overbearing there's nothing that we can do about it! At least in my situation. We still have to treat people with respect, be nice, etc.

This happened to me a few weeks ago and I mentioned my fiance after this random guy started talking, and it didn't deter him ONE BIT. It would have been easier if I wasn't at work, I could have walked away or been a ***** to him, but I had no choice but to stay polite.

I just don't think the customer is always right, especially when he's being a pig and won't give it a rest.

[cuinlalaland]

Originally Posted by stan4

So you're friends with these married women and you do stuff with them outside of work and group social occasions...one-on-one? That's really cool.

Sometimes one-on-one, usually with other women or with their husbands. But I'm friends with the wives more so than the husbands.

[funymann]

I think that is how men are wired.

We think we are going to get something.

That's why some very powerful women in companies are able to move their bodies as to make every man in the area thinking naughty thoughts. However, they don't have to give it up. They just lead them along like a dog and a bone.

Hey, when a woman has it...they have it. Free drinks, dinners, cars, jewelry. You name it. They may never even put out but are able to attain all these things just cause they know what to do to click a few snapses in the man's brain.

I have been on the other end. I had women...(unattractive) flirt with me while on a job. Constantly making off the wall remarks to me. Watching me. Yeah, it's annoying.

[Cherie Tebo]

Originally Posted by ToniRomo

As a married guy i see this often with my single friends and single coworkers? IF an attractive woman is being nice/friendly to them they automatically assume that she likes him. WHERE AS on the other end of the spectrum if a man is being nice to a woman she doesnt as readily make that assumption. I dont agree with anybody being rude or bitchy, but I can understand why some extremely attractive ladies but up a ***** shield. SO that they can avoid scenarios like this..

Maybe for the very same reasons that us women assume that a guy may like us.Sometimes either sex do seem at times to send the wrong signals.We all know what can sometimes happen when we assume something.

[Tish Thompson]

I used to think it was a low self-esteem thing, but it happens so often that I think the problem is beyond that. Like another poster said, women are taught to be nice. In my family, I was taught to be nice and pretty much treat men like they can't do anything for themselves....so that's what I do. It is always mistaken for something it isn't. The funny thing is when they realize that I'm not into them...they treat me like I did something wrong to them LOL. I am learning to lighten up with treating men like they're helpless...hope it helps!

Originally Posted by ToniRomo

As a married guy i see this often with my single friends and single coworkers? IF an attractive woman is being nice/friendly to them they automatically assume that she likes him. WHERE AS on the other end of the spectrum if a man is being nice to a woman she doesnt as readily make that assumption. I dont agree with anybody being rude or bitchy, but I can understand why some extremely attractive ladies but up a ***** shield. SO that they can avoid scenarios like this..

[Tish Thompson]

BINGO! If a woman tells a man what she feels rather than leaving him to assume, he won't have so much "rejection" to deal with.

Originally Posted by carra

So, even if a woman is very nice to us we can't assume anything... Then, do we wait until she flat out tells us she likes us? Obviously she won't! (in most cases anyway). So, if we have to keep guessing, why not guessing for the best?

[TKramar]

Originally Posted by mchelle

This is so true. A lot of people don't realize that we are PAID to be nice to them. I'd love to be bitchy to the people that come to the hotel so I can avoid their lame advances, but I'd lose my job!

On the bright side, most places have rules against fraternizing with guests/customers, so that can be said in awkward situations. I think the worst part is that if someone is being overbearing there's nothing that we can do about it! At least in my situation. We still have to treat people with respect, be nice, etc.

This happened to me a few weeks ago and I mentioned my fiance after this random guy started talking, and it didn't deter him ONE BIT. It would have been easier if I wasn't at work, I could have walked away or been a ***** to him, but I had no choice but to stay polite.

I just don't think the customer is always right, especially when he's being a pig and won't give it a rest.

Of course, on the other side of that, there's nothing wrong with dating someone who just happens to work in customer service. I realize it's often true that they are "just doing their job", but I see nothing wrong with approaching them if they are single.

Except that I've never been one to make the approach to begin with.

[TKramar]

Originally Posted by TheImportersWife

So men, is that true?

I'm polite to people I work with--as employees or customers, but I don't go out of my way to be especially nice or communicative with people I have no interest in.

[NotARedneck]

This is a problem most men have. They can either go for women who hate them and make it obvious (setting themselves for ridicule and abuse) or they can go for women who hate them and are too polite to make it obvious. (and be set up for disappointment)

I suppose that its the path of least resistance.

The saying "where there's life, there's hope" seems to explain this.

More and more men are opting out of this.