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That does indeed change things. Like I said, if I was missing a post where she said as much then for someone to point it out. You two are the first to actually do so.
The court date is June 9th. The restraining order is in the works, just waiting for it to be signed off by the judge then they will serve it to him in jail.
Stupid is stupid does, the prosecutor read off his criminal history to me. He said even if I had done a background check most of these things wouldn't have showed up on the pay sites. He has a history of domestic violence with an ex wife I never knew he had. Distribution/sale of drugs within 50 feet of a school. FIVE dui's. The misdemeanors are several trespassing and destruction of prop convictions.
I knew I was afraid for a reason..and I still feel stupid. Thanks again. At least I can relax and breathe for awhile, yay!
Last edited by Adoptstrays; 05-25-2010 at 10:42 AM..
Reason: posted it before I was done.
I was 16. I had to get my parent's permission. I am DIVORCED from my ex for almost 2 years. We were separated for 8 months prior. Does that help?
I am trying really hard to understand posts like this. It has nothing to do with my problem. Should I have written a book length original post covering my entire life?
I was just asking.. not trying to stir anything up.. Often times it helps when you know more information about the poster's history when youre trying to give advice..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays
I just wanted to stop in and update. I've made some calls today. It's a lot easier to get ahold of people on a Monday than a Sunday night. If I'd had these resources available last night maybe I wouldn't have chickened out. So please don't call me spineless or judge me.
I have contacted several old friends on FB, male, that all have jumped at the chance to come over tonight. My ex is also planning on coming. My plan is to arrive home the same time everyone else gets there, tell "bf" to leave and leave the rest to the men there. I have notified KC Police of what is going to happen and they said they can patrol my house on a regular basis for me for the next several days. The locksmith is coming tonight at 8pm, found one who makes housecalls..My ex is giving me a handgun to protect myself with. I don't plan on using it, god forbid, but it might give me a small sense of security.
So the plans are in motion..I already feel stronger and almost free. All I needed was support and direction and I thank you all for doing that for me!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays
For all those who were berating me for wanting to have a gun, I posted yesterday afternoon that it was a bad idea and I didn't do it, ok? Ok.
For those who said I made my bed, now lie in it, go to hell. He wasn't this way in the beginning.
He is in jail now. He punched me, pulled his pocket knife on ex, I called the police, done. He cannot post bond so he will be in jail for awhile. I called the prosecutor's office this morning and they said he will be arraigned this morning at 9am. Then he will be given a court date, which they will also let me know when it is. I am safe for probably two weeks, they will let me know if/when he gets out. When that time comes I am going to stay with friends for awhile.
Thanks again everyone.
AWESOME news!!!! Glad things happened, Im sorry you got hurt.. are you okay?? Are you feeling some relief now?? Really glad you talked to the prosecutor and found out all that history.. BREATHE.. be SO GLAD YOURE DONE NOW!! Be careful, and go hug your friends.
I was just asking.. not trying to stir anything up.. Often times it helps when you know more information about the poster's history when youre trying to give advice..
AWESOME news!!!! Glad things happened, Im sorry you got hurt.. are you okay?? Are you feeling some relief now?? Really glad you talked to the prosecutor and found out all that history.. BREATHE.. be SO GLAD YOURE DONE NOW!! Be careful, and go hug your friends.
I bet she feels like she needs a long hot shower to wash all that guys slime off of her
Adoptstrays, I'm sorry so you had to go through that but I am glad you're OK. Please disregard those who have tried to blame you or minimize your situation. They're clueless.
You can't stay with your friends forever, so what are your plans beyond that? I really think you should consider a security system, motion sensors and cameras.
That does indeed change things. Like I said, if I was missing a post where she said as much then for someone to point it out. You two are the first to actually do so.
So, you're saying she had no reason to be afraid until the moment she actually hit her.
I had a really bad feeling about him from the very first post and yes you have those gut feelings for a reason, they serve us well. I also didn't find out about a criminal background until charges were filed but you're safe and he's where he should be. Best Wishes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays
The court date is June 9th. The restraining order is in the works, just waiting for it to be signed off by the judge then they will serve it to him in jail.
Stupid is stupid does, the prosecutor read off his criminal history to me. He said even if I had done a background check most of these things wouldn't have showed up on the pay sites. He has a history of domestic violence with an ex wife I never knew he had. Distribution/sale of drugs within 50 feet of a school. FIVE dui's. The misdemeanors are several trespassing and destruction of prop convictions.
I knew I was afraid for a reason..and I still feel stupid. Thanks again. At least I can relax and breathe for awhile, yay!
The court date is June 9th. The restraining order is in the works, just waiting for it to be signed off by the judge then they will serve it to him in jail.
Stupid is stupid does, the prosecutor read off his criminal history to me. He said even if I had done a background check most of these things wouldn't have showed up on the pay sites. He has a history of domestic violence with an ex wife I never knew he had. Distribution/sale of drugs within 50 feet of a school. FIVE dui's. The misdemeanors are several trespassing and destruction of prop convictions.
I knew I was afraid for a reason..and I still feel stupid. Thanks again. At least I can relax and breathe for awhile, yay!
A restraining order will NOT save your life if this guy is truly dangerous. I am not going to go into specifics right now, but the one time I got a restraining order the cops strongly urged me to move. They pointed out that all a restraining order does is give them the grounds to arrest him if he violated it in a non-lethal way. If he violated it with lethal intentions, the likelihood of the cops getting to me in time to save my life was somewhere between slim and none.
Think about it, if the guy broke into your place and put that knife against your throat, what is that piece of paper going to do for you? Not a damn thing. They also told me that a lot of people become even MORE enraged after being served with a restraining order. After a lengthy discussion with law enforcement, I ended up leaving town when it was served, came back the next week and promptly moved.
The court date is June 9th. The restraining order is in the works, just waiting for it to be signed off by the judge then they will serve it to him in jail.
Stupid is stupid does, the prosecutor read off his criminal history to me. He said even if I had done a background check most of these things wouldn't have showed up on the pay sites. He has a history of domestic violence with an ex wife I never knew he had. Distribution/sale of drugs within 50 feet of a school. FIVE dui's. The misdemeanors are several trespassing and destruction of prop convictions.
I knew I was afraid for a reason..and I still feel stupid. Thanks again. At least I can relax and breathe for awhile, yay!
I'm thankful you are safe and have found out the truth about this sorry excuse for a man. Though it's a painful and scary process, undoubtedly you can use these recent events in your favour, and can reclaim your home for yourself and make it snug and secure again in whatever ways are needed. I wish you the best!
PS ~ I've been reading from day one on this thread and have read all your comments and the other's as well. I think you've been quite patient with some of these folks.....just sayin'.....
I'm sorry you went through all this. On top of everything else, I know you are questioning yourself and why this happened. I have a friend whose H did these same things when they split, and they had 2 children and had been married almost 35 years! This can happen to almost anyone so quit blaming yourself and concentrate on your own survival.
Get in touch with the battered women's groups in your area and sign up for counseling. It's usually free.
If you own your home change all the locks and have a security check. If you have a fenced yard, get a big, mean, dog. Post signs that you have a big, mean, dog. Sometimes you can rent attack trained animals. Check on it. Get an alarm system. When this guy gets out of jail, change bedrooms and change all your habitual patterns. Always carry a copy of your TRO and give copies to your best friends and your EX. Give a copy of the TRO to your employer, explain what happened and ask them to call the police if they see this guy hanging around. Tell the neighbors and ask them to watch your house.
If you rent talk to your landlord. Probably they will let you out of your lease because they don't want this guy around either. Move. Move to a different area of town you usually wouldn't hang out in.
If you can afford it, buy a different car or rent a different car for a couple weeks after this lowlife gets out of jail.
Best of luck. Be careful and move on with your life.
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not trying to stir anything up.. Often times it helps when you know more information about the poster's history when youre trying to give advice.. 
