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OK, first some background for those who don't know... My fiance left me for another woman three and a half years ago, a few weeks before our wedding. He married her about four months later. I was devastated and it took me a couple years to recover enough to move on with my life. I moved to a new town, got a new job and things have been going great. We didn't communicate for the last couple years, until a few months ago when we sent a few e-mails back and forth, just chit-chat. At that time he told me that his marriage was over (I hadn't known that). I've basically forgiven him for being an idiot, but I certainly haven't forgotten what he did. After a couple months of e-mailing about football and the weather I decided to ask him if he had any remorse or regret about what happened in our relationship. He never replied to that e-mail so I just wrote him off (again) and didn't really think much about him.
Fast forward two months to last week. I was in DC on business and I woke up Wednesday to find an e-mail from him. He said that he was in DC on business (pure coincidence) and was thinking about me because the last time he was there he was with me, and he signed the e-mail with the same goofy signature we used when we were together. Oh yeah, and he put "P.S. I miss you".
We ended up going out to dinner that night and talked for four hours. Most of the time was spent just catching up. He did tell me that he sent the previous night's e-mail when he was drunk. Anyway, after just talking for about an hour I decided that we'd had enough chit-chat and I wanted answers to some questions. He told me that yes, he had cheated on me with her and she was the reason he left (up until then it was all speculation - guess I was right). I also found out that his marriage had only lasted six months, and that she was the one who left him. Karma sure is a bee-yotch. For some reason though, that just irritated the heck out of me - that he threw away our relationship for this woman who used him, took a bunch of his money, and then dumped him. Either she's really clever, or he's really really dumb. I also asked him if she hadn't been in the picture could we have maybe postponed the wedding and figured out what was really going on between us and worked it out. He said yes. More frustration. However, the one thing he never said, and has never said in the past three years or so is "I'm sorry I hurt you".
After stewing over this for a couple days I decided that whether or not he felt he made the right decision in leaving me for her, he still hurt me terribly and should apologize if he wants to be friends, or pen pals, or whatever the heck he's hoping to get out of continuing to communicate with me. Without that apology I feel like I'm condoning what he did in some way. I'm planning to send him an e-mail telling him that I don't want to stay in touch any more because it doesn't seem like he feels any remorse for what he did and I deserve better than that.
I guess this was more of a rant and venting than anything else. Feel free to comment if you like.
OK, first some background for those who don't know... My fiance left me for another woman three and a half years ago, a few weeks before our wedding. He married her about four months later. I was devastated and it took me a couple years to recover enough to move on with my life. I moved to a new town, got a new job and things have been going great. We didn't communicate for the last couple years, until a few months ago when we sent a few e-mails back and forth, just chit-chat. At that time he told me that his marriage was over (I hadn't known that). I've basically forgiven him for being an idiot, but I certainly haven't forgotten what he did. After a couple months of e-mailing about football and the weather I decided to ask him if he had any remorse or regret about what happened in our relationship. He never replied to that e-mail so I just wrote him off (again) and didn't really think much about him.
Fast forward two months to last week. I was in DC on business and I woke up Wednesday to find an e-mail from him. He said that he was in DC on business (pure coincidence) and was thinking about me because the last time he was there he was with me, and he signed the e-mail with the same goofy signature we used when we were together. Oh yeah, and he put "P.S. I miss you".
We ended up going out to dinner that night and talked for four hours. Most of the time was spent just catching up. He did tell me that he sent the previous night's e-mail when he was drunk. Anyway, after just talking for about an hour I decided that we'd had enough chit-chat and I wanted answers to some questions. He told me that yes, he had cheated on me with her and she was the reason he left (up until then it was all speculation - guess I was right). I also found out that his marriage had only lasted six months, and that she was the one who left him. Karma sure is a bee-yotch. For some reason though, that just irritated the heck out of me - that he threw away our relationship for this woman who used him, took a bunch of his money, and then dumped him. Either she's really clever, or he's really really dumb. I also asked him if she hadn't been in the picture could we have maybe postponed the wedding and figured out what was really going on between us and worked it out. He said yes. More frustration. However, the one thing he never said, and has never said in the past three years or so is "I'm sorry I hurt you".
After stewing over this for a couple days I decided that whether or not he felt he made the right decision in leaving me for her, he still hurt me terribly and should apologize if he wants to be friends, or pen pals, or whatever the heck he's hoping to get out of continuing to communicate with me. Without that apology I feel like I'm condoning what he did in some way. I'm planning to send him an e-mail telling him that I don't want to stay in touch any more because it doesn't seem like he feels any remorse for what he did and I deserve better than that.
I guess this was more of a rant and venting than anything else. Feel free to comment if you like.
You are even allowed to hang out with that match.com doc dude and his ferrari, but not this douchebag
31/2 yrs on your own...two yrs of recovery...you get where I'm headed with this.
You're like an alcoholic falling off the wagon.
What Virgode said.
You seem to be very emotionally susceptible to him and I say this by way of warning, for your benefit. If I were you, I'd have nothing whatever to do with him at all.
Steer clear of him. History has a nasty way of repeating itself. Just ignore avoid, even shun him. Why risk him breaking your heart again. Its not worth it for your sake.
OK, first some background for those who don't know... My fiance left me for another woman three and a half years ago, a few weeks before our wedding. He married her about four months later. I was devastated and it took me a couple years to recover enough to move on with my life. I moved to a new town, got a new job and things have been going great. We didn't communicate for the last couple years, until a few months ago when we sent a few e-mails back and forth, just chit-chat. At that time he told me that his marriage was over (I hadn't known that). I've basically forgiven him for being an idiot, but I certainly haven't forgotten what he did. After a couple months of e-mailing about football and the weather I decided to ask him if he had any remorse or regret about what happened in our relationship. He never replied to that e-mail so I just wrote him off (again) and didn't really think much about him.
Fast forward two months to last week. I was in DC on business and I woke up Wednesday to find an e-mail from him. He said that he was in DC on business (pure coincidence) and was thinking about me because the last time he was there he was with me, and he signed the e-mail with the same goofy signature we used when we were together. Oh yeah, and he put "P.S. I miss you".
We ended up going out to dinner that night and talked for four hours. Most of the time was spent just catching up. He did tell me that he sent the previous night's e-mail when he was drunk. Anyway, after just talking for about an hour I decided that we'd had enough chit-chat and I wanted answers to some questions. He told me that yes, he had cheated on me with her and she was the reason he left (up until then it was all speculation - guess I was right). I also found out that his marriage had only lasted six months, and that she was the one who left him. Karma sure is a bee-yotch. For some reason though, that just irritated the heck out of me - that he threw away our relationship for this woman who used him, took a bunch of his money, and then dumped him. Either she's really clever, or he's really really dumb. I also asked him if she hadn't been in the picture could we have maybe postponed the wedding and figured out what was really going on between us and worked it out. He said yes. More frustration. However, the one thing he never said, and has never said in the past three years or so is "I'm sorry I hurt you".
After stewing over this for a couple days I decided that whether or not he felt he made the right decision in leaving me for her, he still hurt me terribly and should apologize if he wants to be friends, or pen pals, or whatever the heck he's hoping to get out of continuing to communicate with me. Without that apology I feel like I'm condoning what he did in some way. I'm planning to send him an e-mail telling him that I don't want to stay in touch any more because it doesn't seem like he feels any remorse for what he did and I deserve better than that.
I guess this was more of a rant and venting than anything else. Feel free to comment if you like.
I completely understand the need to hear an "I'm sorry, what I did to you was terrible".
But you've got to remember, he's not sorry and he's not your friend. As hard as it is, let him go for good honey.
You are even allowed to hang out with that match.com doc dude and his ferrari, but not this douchebag
LOL. I wonder if the Ferrari dude ever found his true love
This was one dinner and we don't live near each other so I seriously doubt any more meetings will be in our future. I just don't know at this point what he was even thinking would happen. I'm not losing sleep over it that's for sure. It was just a very freaky coincidence that we were in the same place at the same time. It was even more weird that his friend who was supposed to have been our Best Man was also in DC and that's who he went out and got drunk with the night before our dinner. None of us live there - it was very very bizarre.
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(pure coincidence) and was thinking about me because the last time he was there he was with me, and he signed the e-mail with the same goofy signature we used when we were together. Oh yeah, and he put "P.S. I miss you". 
Anyway, after just talking for about an hour I decided that we'd had enough chit-chat and I wanted answers to some questions. He told me that yes, he had cheated on me with her and she was the reason he left (up until then it was all speculation - guess I was right). I also found out that his marriage had only lasted six months, and that she was the one who left him. Karma sure is a bee-yotch. 
For some reason though, that just irritated the heck out of me - that he threw away our relationship for this woman who used him, took a bunch of his money, and then dumped him. Either she's really clever, or he's really really dumb. I also asked him if she hadn't been in the picture could we have maybe postponed the wedding and figured out what was really going on between us and worked it out. He said yes. More frustration. However, the one thing he never said, and has never said in the past three years or so is "I'm sorry I hurt you". 
