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1. I know my snooping is wrong, and I want to stop.
2. I know I'm insecure.
3. I do suspect others of doing things that I do, I know I've failed to be trustworthy in my relationships and I'd never want someone checking my fbook inbox or email because it could possibly be incriminating...but that's not why I check. I check to find to out what they conceive of doing, not what they actually are doing. For example, I'd be less disturbed to find out that a guy I was with had a one night stand behind my back and more disturbed to find out that he was obsessed with images of girls that looked way different than I did.
Now that's weird. My facebook is PRIVATE, with capital letters. If someone snooped on my facebook it'd probably ruin our friendship or relationship.
You don't like it if someone snooped on your stuff, yet you snoop on others? It doesn't work that way. You can't have a one way street here and expect things to work out.
Just asking, as my ex said that me constantly checking his history was a hindrance to our trust in one another.
A little background: I checked his history and found pornography of a disturbing nature. When I discovered it I cried, and it ate away at me so much I had to confront him about it, even though it made me look like a psycho for checking.
He stopped looking at it after he knew I checked (or just as likely just learned how to delete his history off the browser), but just the fact that I continued to check really disturbed him.
I guess I'm just an inveterately nosy person, and I don't know why you'd want to be intimate with someone and not know what sites they view on their free time. I understand it's a violation of trust to snoop. Doesn't stop the compulsion.
What are your thoughts?
My thoughts are you should talk to a professional about your incessant need to "check" on people, and I say that with all sincerity and kindness. It's not healthy.
You don't like it if someone snooped on your stuff, yet you snoop on others? It doesn't work that way. You can't have a one way street here and expect things to work out.
I'm not saying it's rational or acceptable. I'm just saying that's the way it is for me.
Sometimes we really need to address our issues if we want a healthy adult relationship with a partner.
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