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Old 05-28-2010, 10:20 AM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,852 posts, read 8,457,404 times
Reputation: 3999

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There are a heck of a lot more women out there that want kids then men that want kids (IMO), so I don't think you'll have a problem at all Get out there and get it on! Not really...'cause that's irresponsible
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Old 05-28-2010, 10:40 AM
 
23 posts, read 78,270 times
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I appreciate the positive feedback. I guess I spend too much time reading about things on the internet where guys over 40 and never married are screwed up and crazy to think about wanting kids after 40 and stuff. My ex-gf always said I would be a good father so I don't think I am lacking anything other than meeting women.

I have gotten better at talking to people the past few years so I am in a much better place today than I have ever been as far as understanding myself and communicating with people, have a steady job(though it is kind of low paying under $50k), own a home, done a lot of traveling, always finding some new hobby and have lots of interests for a partner to share. Some good stuff there for sure I know plus the last relationship gave me lots of experience in communication, patience, compromise etc.
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Old 05-28-2010, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 18,097,088 times
Reputation: 9358
Many women are waiting til late 30s, 40s to have their first these days. My sister was 42 and she walked out of the hospital wearing her regular clothes. She was amazing but was probably an exception. She took great care of herself during pregnancy and had no complications. So I don't think you need to put a cap on the age thing if she's fit enough. It will give you more options.

But I think you may have something about are children that important to you if you find someone you have a great relationship with. Think of the things you can do together. Just remember how drastically children change your life. FOR E VER. LOL
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Old 05-28-2010, 10:50 AM
 
10,054 posts, read 10,610,108 times
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I have know a few women in their forties who have had babies on purpose. You may have to put your self out there as a guy "looking for fatherhood" Lots of single mothers out there,you might have to beat'em a way with a stick.

There are places where children who are placed in residential care by the state that are always looking for part time help. Its not volunteer work, but I'm sure it doesn't pay that well. You could work nights or weekends and get a worse case scenario of parenthood. Some of these places do lots of training which I think might serve you well. One word of caution is if you are getting too much more out of a relationship with a kid than they are getting, it will cloud your decision making and you might not be right for working with kids.

Last edited by thriftylefty; 05-28-2010 at 11:13 AM..
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Old 05-28-2010, 10:51 AM
 
8,680 posts, read 13,593,672 times
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If you're going to do online dating, I suggest putting your general age range for what you are seeking at 32-37 and let it rip. It seems narrow, but you'll get a few younger and a few older and you'll generally avoid the 23-year-olds who are still doing bar crawls and looking for someone to pay their rent.

Search for whatever age range you like, but if you see a profile and the woman has 25-35 as her preferred age range, I suggest that you respect that. If you don't, you'll either be wasting your time because they'll ignore you or you might get a curt response. I know when I tried online dating and had my age range at 35-45 (I was 38 at the time), it irritated me to be bombarded with 55-year-olds. Some of them were really persistent, continuing to contact me after I sent them a polite rejection, until finally I told one that if he had that much trouble understanding "I'm flattered, but no thank you," perhaps he had some early onset dementia.
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Old 05-28-2010, 10:58 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,398 posts, read 7,264,332 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
Some of them were really persistent, continuing to contact me after I sent them a polite rejection, until finally I told one that if he had that much trouble understanding "I'm flattered, but no thank you," perhaps he had some early onset dementia.
LMAO! This is why you're becoming one of my favorite CD'ers. lol

Ive had to do the same thing..though usually its the 40+ group that like me. Im only 23 for Pete's sake! Maybe I just look old?

Anyhoo, OP if you want kids, go for it. Adoption, single moms, or meeting someone are all options.

Cheer up. You're only ancient to people my age.
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Old 05-28-2010, 10:59 AM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,927,018 times
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First of all, ask yourself why exactly it is you want kids. Be sure it's for the right reasons. It's not like getting a dog where you can find it a new home if things don't work out. Kids are a huge commitment, emotionally and financially. Far too many people have kids for the wrong reasons and far too many people make lousy parents. Think about it from the perspective of your future kids. You can choose whether to have a child, but that person has no say in the matter. They're stuck with you for the rest of their life. Don't commit to having kids unless you think you'll be a good father. Also, ask yourself if you want to be in your 40s and 50s raising kids. While it's common for people to start families later in life, that doesn't mean it gets easier. You might be financially better off than you were in your 20s, but raising kids can be pretty demanding and you may find you don't have the energy to keep up with them.

Don't decide which women to target until you've made up your mind whether you want kids. One of the things I hated about dating in my 20s was running into people who weren't sure what they wanted. If you're not sure whether to stick with women your age and not have kids versus dating younger women who can have kids, then you need to wait. Figure out what you want first and then go meet someone. Otherwise, you'll be wasting both your and their time.

Even if you decide you don't want kids, don't date anyone for very long if you don't think she could be a good mother. Accidents happen and you might end up with a kid you didn't plan to have. Worse, something could happen to you leaving her to raise your kid on her own. Be sure she can handle it.
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Old 05-28-2010, 11:02 AM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,852 posts, read 8,457,404 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
First of all, ask yourself why exactly it is you want kids. Be sure it's for the right reasons. It's not like getting a dog where you can find it a new home if things don't work out. Kids are a huge commitment, emotionally and financially. Far too many people have kids for the wrong reasons and far too many people make lousy parents. Think about it from the perspective of your future kids. You can choose whether to have a child, but that person has no say in the matter. They're stuck with you for the rest of their life. Don't commit to having kids unless you think you'll be a good father. Also, ask yourself if you want to be in your 40s and 50s raising kids. While it's common for people to start families later in life, that doesn't mean it gets easier. You might be financially better off than you were in your 20s, but raising kids can be pretty demanding and you may find you don't have the energy to keep up with them.

Don't decide which women to target until you've made up your mind whether you want kids. One of the things I hated about dating in my 20s was running into people who weren't sure what they wanted. If you're not sure whether to stick with women your age and not have kids versus dating younger women who can have kids, then you need to wait. Figure out what you want first and then go meet someone. Otherwise, you'll be wasting both your and their time.

Even if you decide you don't want kids, don't date anyone for very long if you don't think she could be a good mother. Accidents happen and you might end up with a kid you didn't plan to have. Worse, something could happen to you leaving her to raise your kid on her own. Be sure she can handle it.
I would think the fact that he's been wanting kids for 12 years would show it's not just a fluke, like wanting a puppy.
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Old 05-28-2010, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Out in the Badlands
10,422 posts, read 9,058,372 times
Reputation: 7765
Yep in the long run your genes are all that you leave behind
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Old 05-28-2010, 11:20 AM
 
23 posts, read 78,270 times
Reputation: 15
Don't worry I won't be hitting on 23 year olds. I kind of figure the youngest for me for compatibility would be 32. Though there is this 23 year old here at work....hmmm...she's works with me, she's 23 and she is like 6 foot 1 and I am 5'7". A perfect match. LOL.
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