Loving someone too much (dating, boyfriend, married, friend)

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by virgode

I can't see how this applies to your friends, even with the xtra info, it doesn't seem to fit. The person who said this could be wrong, but Its meaning will vary from person to person.

My own interpretation, the person who loves to much becomes crazy, their at an emotional disadvantage, crazy, isn't based in reality and irrational. As in crimes of passion for example.

The person in the relationship who doesn't love as much has the power position.

[/quote=funymann;14378455]
I have seen people who love someone so much they endure abuse.
.

I believe it's one of the many reasons pl endure abuse depending on the personality and circumstance it could also make someone abusive.[/quote]
Yeah, probably not enough info. Seeing both, I can't see any craziness but then I don't see everything.

[mchelle]

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

Is it possible to love someone too much and, if so, how do you know that's happening? Someone told a friend, "He's crazy. He loves you too much". That doesn't even make sense to me.

I say that to my S.O. all the time Erm, not the crazy part. Just that I love him too much.

I think that when we meet someone who we feel we belong with, the only person we could ever see ourselves with, the feeling of TRUE love can sometimes be so overwhelming that we associate it with feelings of 'love' that we had in the past. In comparison, the relationship that feels more real can seem like 'too much' love.

For me, this means caring about him so much that he's on my mind constantly. I want to spend as much time with him as possible and I want to do anything and everything I can to make him happy. The mere thought of something bad happening to him makes me cry. I think that going very far out of your way to do something for someone can sometimes ring a bell in your head that says 'Wow, you're nuts for doing all of this for some person!' But then you remember that this is more than just some person to you, it's your soulmate, true love, whatever you want to call him/her.

I never think of loving someone too much as being a negative thing. Being neurotically obsessed, on the other hand, is something to steer clear of.

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

Is it possible to love someone too much and, if so, how do you know that's happening? Someone told a friend, "He's crazy. He loves you too much". That doesn't even make sense to me.

If it's a selfless compassionate and passionate love, then it's never too much.
Sometimes people struggle with obsession over someone and they think it means they are loving too much. Usually those people lose themselves in a relationship and either give too much at their own expense or selfishly demand too much. Neither of it is healthy.

[Whyte Byrd]

I'm under the impression the person who said it has never been that deeply in love before and people are often quick to jab at something they don't understand or can't relate to. I see no signs of anything obsessive about this relationship. They can't get enough of each other. Both are ga-ga* over the other.

*that's a technical term

[virgode]

Originally Posted by max's mama

If it's a selfless compassionate and passionate love, then it's never too much.
Sometimes people struggle with obsession over someone and they think it means they are loving too much. Usually those people lose themselves in a relationship and either give too much at their own expense or selfishly demand too much. Neither of it is healthy.

This was well said, and more along the lines of what I was thinking in my first post in the thread.

[thriftylefty]

Its when you are in a relationship and all the woman wants out of it is to do stuff for you. Everything seems to be geared toward her showing you, her family and friends how much you mean to her. It sounds nice on the surface, but you find that the only way you can show her how much you love her is to let her always cater to your needs. It can be frustrating because if you make a small sacrifice for her, it can go unnoticed because she is always doing things in such a big way for you.

[jeepgirl27]

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

Is it possible to love someone too much and, if so, how do you know that's happening? Someone told a friend, "He's crazy. He loves you too much". That doesn't even make sense to me.

loving them or being obsessed with them?
you can never love someone too much
I say the more the better
obsessed is another story tho.

[laorbust61]

No, you can't "love someone too much". A person CAN be too attached and too dependent on their partner for their self-identity, security or self-esteem. One can also be too blind to their mates faults (this is probably infaturation) However, none of the scenarios I described above is love.

[Ticatica]

Originally Posted by Redisca

WB: I think -- and this is a deeply individual perception, I don't offer it as fact -- that the very nature of romantic love is rooted in fantasy born out of loneliness. We either fall in love with people that don't actually exist (just ask anyone here who's ever been in a really miserable marriage) or, at best, we greatly embellish those we love in our minds.

Brilliant assesment.

[Phil75230]

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

Is it possible to love someone too much and, if so, how do you know that's happening? Someone told a friend, "He's crazy. He loves you too much". That doesn't even make sense to me.

It depends on what the meaning of "love" is. Unfortunately, it's often easy to confuse it with limmerance - which is a extremely powerful feeling of attachment to someone, not even primarily a sexual attachment (which is why it's so easy to confuse limmerance with love. It's easy to tell the difference between love and cheap lust - not so easy with love and limmerance). In that sense, it's definitely possible to "love" someone too much -- especially if you confuse love with possessiveness / clinginess.

To me, healthy love consists of a mostly emotionally neutral feeling of security and trust. The butterfly or "high" feelings are just that -- highs induced by narcotics naturally produced by your body. They may not be street drugs, but they still significantly impair your judgment - particularly regarding your priorities and pseudo-needs in life. Hell, I don't even trust passionate love (yet another feel-good emotionalism that gives you "brain fog").

The only loving feeling you should trust even half-way is an emotionally neutral one, full of security and feelings you can share anything with them. Any other feeling based on feel-good emotionalisms (usually fueled by those neurochemical narcotics) is just that -- feel-good emotionalisms and nothing more.