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It would seem that if those men were satisfied, and willing to stay in the marriage, and the women were not, that the men placed more value on the marriage than those particular women did.
A tootsie roll in someone's pants might qualify them as leader to some, but not all.
I didn't say men had the right to lead--but I guess there needn't be any leadership so you can get lost along the way and just take life as it comes. If you're self-directed, then why involve anyone else? Just stay single.
It would seem many of "those men" have never been married.
Men whose wives file divorce against them have never been married?? If a man wants a divorce, wouldn't he been the one filing? But maybe he's satisfied with what he has, and doesn't feel the need to file. It seems that the women are the ones unsatisfied.
Men whose wives file divorce against them have never been married?? If a man wants a divorce, wouldn't he been the one filing? But maybe he's satisfied with what he has, and doesn't feel the need to file. It seems that the women are the ones unsatisfied.
In response to Braunwyn's example of men on this forum that complain/agree that its the women that file for divorce thus women dont value marriage, yet many of those men making these statements have never been married.
And No. The one filing the paper work is not always the one that doesnt value the marriage.
I didn't say men had the right to lead--but I guess there needn't be any leadership so you can get lost along the way and just take life as it comes. If you're self-directed, then why involve anyone else? Just stay single.
This is another good example. You don't get to decide the criteria of what comprises marriage for anyone other than yourself. Some folk do not marry to lead or to be led.
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Originally Posted by TKramar
Men whose wives file divorce against them have never been married?? If a man wants a divorce, wouldn't he been the one filing? But maybe he's satisfied with what he has, and doesn't feel the need to file. It seems that the women are the ones unsatisfied.
That doesn't mean she doesn't value marriage. Just this past Sunday I was talking with my step-sister and she's in a world of trouble. For years her husband hasn't been able to hold down a job. He'll get let go or quit and then won't bother looking for work. They have two kids, a home, and they aren't making it. She threw him out last year and while he was on his own he worked and managed to survive. She takes him back, he loses the job, and now he's lounging around again. It's been going on for a good 7 years now. When they divorce she will have to be the one to do it and it will have nothing to do with her not valuing marriage. Although, you are correct in that in her case she's not satisfied and he probably is.
There can only be one captain of the ship. Someone to be ultimately responsible. If the ship lacks any sort of leadership, it ends up foundering on the rocks.
There can only be one captain of the ship. Someone to be ultimately responsible. If the ship lacks any sort of leadership, it ends up foundering on the rocks.
Obviously, I disagree. She's certainly in charge of her contributions, but he doesn't give a hoot about his. That's why I don't buy the leader/follower position when it comes to marriage. Each person must carry equal weight, which translates as their own weight. I can't speak for other women, but for me nothing is a bigger turn off than a man that doesn't take care of his business. I couldn't respect a man that needs to be led.
She could lead, and he could follow--but apparently neither wants to lead, and that's why they lack direction.
I'm not sure what she should do to lead him to getting and keeping a job. I can't imagine a marriage working well without both carrying their own weight.
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If you jump in the car to go somewhere, and no one has any idea of the direction to go in, it would take a lot of luck for you to get there.
A better analogy is a mother walking through life carrying her kids with her husband straddled to her back. Who needs that? She should really kick him to the curb.
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