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Old 05-29-2010, 02:19 PM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,570,960 times
Reputation: 13468

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Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx View Post
Do you suppose age has something to do with it? Not because of maturity but because of income. Most people who get married are in their 20s or 30s. Their income isn't as much as people in their 40s. People in their 40s income doesn't matter as much because both of you probably make enough money to provide for a family. It's easy to say "you are chauvinistic" when both of you make so much money the only difference between the two incomes is who can buy the best toys. I would hazard a guess that those who are arguing against me are in their late 30s or higher and have forgotten how difficult it can be to make ends meet with one income.
I don't understand what you're talking about. The reason most marriages have two workers is because it's hard to survive on one income. I'm confused as to what you're point is at this juncture. What's chauvinistic is a man taking issue with his woman earning more than her. What's so difficult to understand here? Can you answer that question?

Quote:
Oh you remember those days. But you don't REMEMBER. You don't put your mind in the same state it was back then. Try to think back when you were among the primary marrying age and really ask yourself if you had gone on a first date and the guy said he wanted to be a homemaker, would there be a second date?

If you say yes, you are deceiving yourself. You and I both know that men are expected to work while women are given the option to work.
I agree that, that wouldn't fly with a lot of people, perhaps most. Again, it's all in theory, tho. People can say they want this and that, but it's not lending to reality. It's not what marriage is about or what makes marriage work. These options are on virtual paper. They're not in the real world.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:26 PM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,570,960 times
Reputation: 13468
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx View Post
YOU ask a woman what it means to be a Man. Ask her if those things I mention describe a real man. Do they describe a woman? In a secondary sort of way but a woman primary character is not determined take charge no holds barred seize life sort if person. Her primary character is gentle, friendly, adoring, inspiring, nurturing.
I find this pretty funny.. telling a female physician it's not in her nature to take charge/be a seize life sort of person. lol geesh with generalizations.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:27 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,484 posts, read 45,642,247 times
Reputation: 47442
Quote:
Originally Posted by john-ever-learning View Post
I am dating a lawyer right now and she makes a little more than double than me. Am I intimidated? Nope. I was living just fine before I met her. However, one of my employees is dating a pharmacist and she makes 4 times as much as him and he says it makes him feel really inadequate. To which I ask why? I mean if you like a person, what does it matter?
I don't know if I view it as a man hood thing or what, but to me, if my SO made more money it wouldn't matter. Maybe I feel that way cause I do pretty well, but IDK , I don't think it would bother me.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,084 posts, read 1,462,586 times
Reputation: 499
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
Quote:
Despite feminism, women still expect certain things today. They expect to be treated special. And they expect to have the option to stay at home when necessary. Both of those are traditional in nature but postmodern independent liberated women STILL REQUIRE THEM. For them to receive those old fashioned wishes men must then still do old fashioned things: lead and provide.
I think it's foolish for anyone to have such expectations.
Well women do.

Quote:
How you can even make that statement in the recession we're in is beyond me. A lot of men are out of work. They're in trouble. Reality doesn't leave much room for pretend play. It doesn't pay the bills, put food on the table, etc. I also don't agree with the generalizations about women here.
Don't think so short term. I didn't say all women expect to marry then the next day stop working. I said they expect to have the option available to them, especially after having a child. If she is to have the option then the man has to work.

Women say these things. I'm just the messenger.

Quote:
Of course people expect to be treated special. That's gender neutral. I suspect you will find more traditional attitudes from some women and not so much in others.
Don't be obtuse. You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Women expect for the man to treat her special. Take off his coat if she is cold, even if it means he is cold. If they are both worn out but someone HAS to drive (or do whatever), the man is expected to do it. Women might not expect it in a human sort if way, and some with bad experiences in the past or some who have been taught to be doubtful might initially feel offended, but once they see the man behind the special treatment they'll fall in love. A woman who doesn't get special treatment isn't going to fall in love. In a romantic sort of way she does expect special treatment. Oh women are "supposed to" treat him special, and they do, over other people, but they don't give him preferential treatment. Women receive preferential treatment. But that's ok. The flipside is the right to lead.

Quote:
Any way, to repeat, in the end I do believe it's a matter of work value and there is no where else this leads, but chauvinism, despite who is making the statement (male or female).
If you don't ever feel emasculated then I don't see how you can think you know what emasculated men feel.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,255 posts, read 58,610,564 times
Reputation: 73664
Age? Early thirties. Was making less than 40k just 5 years ago.

You're saying if a man is courteous, he gets 'the right to lead'? BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Btw, you need to meet a whole lot more women if all you think is that they enjoy the backseat and want someone else to 'lead' their life.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,084 posts, read 1,462,586 times
Reputation: 499
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
I don't understand what you're talking about. The reason most marriages have two workers is because it's hard to survive on one income.
A family that has a $75,000 income can survive quite easily.
Quote:
I'm confused as to what you're point is at this juncture. What's chauvinistic is a man taking issue with his woman earning more than her. What's so difficult to understand here? Can you answer that question?
I did. You aren't reading. Not really READING. Look at my first replies.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,255 posts, read 58,610,564 times
Reputation: 73664
A real man?

To me, a real man doesn't have to conform or put definitions on what makes him a 'real man.' He doesn't fit a mold or conform to other people's expectations because he's afraid of what they think.

He doesn't rely on archaic role playing to define his place in the world or prefer others be kept down so he can feel better about himself.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:43 PM
 
5,148 posts, read 4,907,691 times
Reputation: 2865
Well then consider me not a real man. Cuz I think the definition of a real man, is a person that was born with a penis.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,084 posts, read 1,462,586 times
Reputation: 499
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
You're saying if a man is courteous, he gets 'the right to lead'? BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
I didn't say he's courteous. I said he gives special treatment to her. She expects it. One gets special treatment, the other gets the right to lead. If you get both then you are a dictator and your SO is a slave. And don't give me that "equality" BS. Only one person can drive. Only one person can go through a door first. If there is one coat only one person can wear it. If there is a life and death decision, only one can survive.

Quote:
Btw, you need to meet a whole lot more women if all you think is that they enjoy the backseat and want someone else to 'lead' their life.
Women don't want you to lead THEIR life. They want to be a part of YOUR life.

I have never in my life MET a woman who disagreed with me on these matters. And I'm a salsa instructor. I meet a lot of women.

And if you think salsa instructor = sleazeball then you are completely ignorant of salsa.

You really should learn how to partner dance. It would change your entire perspective on life and of relationships. I don't say these things from my imagination. I say them from experience and from observation and they are backed up by real world actual women.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:48 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,484 posts, read 45,642,247 times
Reputation: 47442
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx View Post
A family that has a $75,000 income can survive quite easily.I did. You aren't reading. Not really READING. Look at my first replies.
75k a yr in So Cal will not provide for a family all that easily. You aren't owning a home, and probably driving older cars, and not living in the best of areas.

Note I said family, not a single person or a couple with no children.

Pretty sad, but you need six figures here in order to do it properly.
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