Suddenly Attracting Gay Men (call, clubs, feeling, physically)

[malamute]

Originally Posted by WaltHowe

Two of the biggest myths in the world: "gaydar" and "feminine intuition" or "women's sixth sense".

I don't think gaydar is a myth. But it's not just some sixth sense, it's that they gays look for each other, they send out signals - like radar and something bounces back so they know. Straight people aren't the most reliable when reporting who is and who isn't gay - if you want to know who is then get it from the gays because they know who is and who isn't and who might be and no one outs the others like a gay person does.

I wonder how many gays were surprised when it was revealed that Rock Hudson had aids. It's straights who miss the cues.

And they have a kind of radar to find out who is tolerant and who isn't.

[recuerdeme]

Originally Posted by BadJuju

For whatever reason, I have been approached by four gay men in just as many weeks. This is the first time in my life in which I have been approached by men. While I am not homophobic, it makes me sad that they are not women. I think it is related to the fact that I started weightlifting again a couple months ago and gained 30 lbs. And the fact that I have allowed my facial hair to grow.

Has anyone else had an experience like this?

Yes but I am gay so...
Take the swish out your hips and stop making so much eye contact with men and you won't have this happening.

[K-Luv]

Originally Posted by BadJuju

For whatever reason, I have been approached by four gay men in just as many weeks. This is the first time in my life in which I have been approached by men. While I am not homophobic, it makes me sad that they are not women. I think it is related to the fact that I started weightlifting again a couple months ago and gained 30 lbs. And the fact that I have allowed my facial hair to grow.

Has anyone else had an experience like this?

I've always had at least one gay friend in my life since high school, so yeah, I've been hit on by men a lot of times. There where times when it was flattering, although not reciporcated, and other times when it was down right creepy.

Originally Posted by cocytus

Let's see:

1) Get some fashion tips.
2) See if they have any straight female friends around that you'd like to tap.
3) Let them know clearly and concisely that you are not interested.

That is..if you are NOT interested.

1. Not all gay men are fashionitas, divas, or have any sense of style. Most gay men are typical men through-and-through with the only difference being who they are attracted to.

2. This is true. Gay men tend to have tons of female friends. Well, more female friends than any hetero guy will [ever] have. Women love gay men because it allows for a true f-m friendship without the threat of any potential creepiness.

3. Yes, but gay men are men, and how many hetero males "don't get the hint" when they flirt or pursue women? It's a guy thing, not a gay thing.

[WaltHowe]

Originally Posted by malamute

I don't think gaydar is a myth. But it's not just some sixth sense, it's that they gays look for each other, they send out signals - like radar and something bounces back so they know. Straight people aren't the most reliable when reporting who is and who isn't gay - if you want to know who is then get it from the gays because they know who is and who isn't and who might be and no one outs the others like a gay person does.

I wonder how many gays were surprised when it was revealed that Rock Hudson had aids. It's straights who miss the cues.

And they have a kind of radar to find out who is tolerant and who isn't.

If you wear somewhat obvious clothes and get a somewhat obvious hairstyle and walk with a somewhat heldback swish and talk in a somewhat obvious manner....................................

But the so called "gays" are obsessed with men and look at heterosexual men and find "clues" which aren't there. What just "bounced back" isn't what the homosexual person thinks "bounced back".

Tolerant? I'm not tolerant. I consider the condition to be sick. But the "gays" don't figure this out either until it becomes obvious.

[GeorgeLucasLongLostChin]

I live in a gay ghetto. Gay men flirt with me all the time, everyday and I have to say, it's just like traffic...I don't see/hear it anymore.

Obviously I have a lot of gay friends because of where I live. They told me that because I made eye contact men who were starring at me, including them, I sent mixed signals. My thoughts were "wtf is your problem" but I guess my face said "I'm horny". lolol

Now that I just ignore them, they assume I'm just another boring straight guy. It helps that I'm often walking around with a baby now.

Think of this way...if you are attracting gay men, chances are that you are attracting ladies as well. You just don't see it.

[stevenvillatoro]

Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy

If a gay guy flirts with me he will be in "INTENSIVE CARE"

Strong reaction – what's that about?

[K-Luv]

Originally Posted by WaltHowe

If you wear somewhat obvious clothes and get a somewhat obvious hairstyle and walk with a somewhat heldback swish and talk in a somewhat obvious manner....................................

But the so called "gays" are obsessed with men and look at heterosexual men and find "clues" which aren't there. What just "bounced back" isn't what the homosexual person thinks "bounced back".

Tolerant? I'm not tolerant. I consider the condition to be sick. But the "gays" don't figure this out either until it becomes obvious.

I normally would not give you the time of day, but your last sentence here is cause for concern. What do you mean by "...until it becomes obvious"?

Not all gay men dress or act in a stereotypical "gay" manner. The reality is that you encounter gay men all the time, yet would never know it unless they told you.

You can be sick of it all you want, but keep this in mind: Homosexual men and women are your neighbors, politicians (including both Rep. and Dem.), in the police and fire departments, serve in our nations military, play on professional sports teams (football, baseball, etc.), are friends, family, co-workers, etc., etc.

The so-called gaydar only works if the person is putting off gay vibes, if you will. I worked with a guy for three years before I found out he was gay, and I was friends with him outside of work, too.

[GeorgeLucasLongLostChin]

Originally Posted by malamute

I don't think gaydar is a myth. But it's not just some sixth sense, it's that they gays look for each other, they send out signals - like radar and something bounces back so they know. Straight people aren't the most reliable when reporting who is and who isn't gay - if you want to know who is then get it from the gays because they know who is and who isn't and who might be and no one outs the others like a gay person does.

I wonder how many gays were surprised when it was revealed that Rock Hudson had aids. It's straights who miss the cues.

And they have a kind of radar to find out who is tolerant and who isn't.

The gaydar is certainly a myth.

A lot of gay men see cues where there are none. And that's not a trait specific to gay people. Anyone who is interested in someone else will misinterpret and will see open doors when really, there isn't any opportunity. Men, regardless of there sexual orientation, are pretty good at taking a no for a yes.

I've seen quite a few gay men smile at me when the look on my face was more like "is there a problem?".

I've even said it out loud to demonstrate my irritation toward other gay men only to be ignored. They probably thought "oh, he's probably bi, that's why he's looking at me and he's pissed off that I'm starring at him", completly overlooking the fact that someone might not enjoy being starred at by people when changing in a gym locker room or by customers sitting next to you in a restaurant.

I can't count the number of times I heard my gay friends say this when I know for a fact the guy in question is as straight as they come.

And I've also heard a lot of gay men assume that a straight guy is intolerant because he completly ignores them. I have a lot of straight friends as well and when they visit me and they meet my gay friends, I often hear back that they looked homophobic. Everytime I have to explain that my straight friends are very accepting of gays, but they just aren't very talkative with new people.

Anyway, most of my friends are gays, and I assure you their so-called gaydar or 'tolerance radar' has put them in embarassing situations more often than not. Sure, gay men will send obvious cues to each others, but anyone could see these.

Like I said, men tend to take a no for a yes or making up BS to save face. Straight men will often say a girl is snobbish or must be a lesbian, gay men will say this straight guy must be intolerant or a closet homo or whatever.

In short, the gaydar is a lie.

[WaltHowe]

Originally Posted by K-Luv

I normally would not give you the time of day, but your last sentence here is cause for concern. What do you mean by "...until it becomes obvious"?

Not all gay men dress or act in a stereotypical "gay" manner. The reality is that you encounter gay men all the time, yet would never know it unless they told you.

You can be sick of it all you want, but keep this in mind: Homosexual men and women are your neighbors, politicians (including both Rep. and Dem.), in the police and fire departments, serve in our nations military, play on professional sports teams (football, baseball, etc.), are friends, family, co-workers, etc., etc.

The so-called gaydar only works if the person is putting off gay vibes, if you will. I worked with a guy for three years before I found out he was gay, and I was friends with him outside of work, too.

Until it becomes obvious means "push me enough and you'll feel the 'overtones' of my hostility towards homosexual come-ons if you are into reading overtones."

And men/women who quietly go home and have sex with their dog won't tell you about it either but they are your neighbors, politicians, in the police and fire depts, serve in the military, play on pro sports teams, are friends, family, co-workers etc................

But that doesn't make human-animal sex a good thing so what does your example prove?

[Coolhand68]

Have you ever seen a peacock?...it's a species of bird...



Now according to some peoples cultural standards...this male bird, if human, would be 'gay'...simply cause it's genetically adorned in bribant colors...(like it was normal for human males to do years ago, but now unfortunatly, everything vibrant and colorful has been deemed, tagged 'feminane')...

The difference between the peacock and humans is that the peacock cannot choose to be colorful. A man such as yourself who chooses to glam it up has done so by choice. There is a difference between a hetero man who chooses to wear a pink shirt, and a so-called hetero male who parades around with sequins and painted toe nails. Typically, someone such as yourself would be looked upon as a transvestite. Not necessarily gay, but enjoys dressing up as a woman.

The same way man has turned Satan into a red suited pitch fork character, hetero males have turned 'gay' into a type of sissified character...hetro males do this to reinforce their own machoness and to create a distinction...

Hetero males have not turned gays into sissified characters, but that's often how they are represented by the television/Hollywood crowd which is largely made up of gays and lesbians...ie., Will and Grace, Entourage, ***** Eye etc. Gays are represented by other gays in this fashion. Though, more and more they are being represented as ordinary men and women devoid of any stereotypes. A departure from how they were represented 30+ years ago, often as violent homicidal psychopaths or delicate flowers. It has nothing to do with how straight men see them.

But again, truth is, the more macho you act or look, the more likely your to become 'gay bait', because gay males like other 'men'...not women, and most are repulsed by any trace of 'feminane' in another guy..just read some of the adds on gay classified...most insist their partner be straight looking and acting..

True, but the ones a guy like you will attract are the closeted types who want to experiment or dudes who are into tranny's.

Most gay males are totally undetectable, and prefer it that way, kind of a survival mechanism...

Perhaps.

The 'twinkle toe' version of gay, you have in your mind, again, is more of a conviently created image, for hetro males to distinquish themselves...

For it is much easier for hetro males to accept someone like me being gay, than it would be for them to accept Steve Goldburg, or Hulk Hogan as being gay...

Cause images like that hit to close to home, for the hetro male...

I really don't have any one image of gays burned into my mind. I've been around gays all my life, growing up in NYC and working in nightclubs all across the country. I've had gay friends and I know that some are swishy and some are more masculine. That's why I can make an educated assumption about your sexuality. I think you're in denial.

Coolhand...I garuntee you, that if me and you went into a gay establishment...you dressed as a traditional American male, and me dressed or personified as I am in my photos...

I garuntee you would get hit up on far more than myself, by other 'normally' dressed and behaved hetro personified males, such as yourself...while I would end up getting totally ignored all night, maybe someone would delibertly spill their drink on me so that I'd leave...

The likelihood of you and I walking into a gay bar together is about as likely as Mel Gibson being invited to Passover Seder by Steven Spielberg. However, you are correct, I would probably be hit on more because the gays you attract are the closeted married dudes or the ones who are attracted to tranny's.

People who are drawn or attracted to myself, usually aren't 'gay'...rather their confused...bi-curious, or just flat out lonely.

Ok, so if you aren't gay, then who or what type of woman is attracted to you? When was the last time you had a non-platonic date or relationship with a woman?

I actually appeal more to the 'hetro' side of males, more so than to their gay side...(in photos, not in real life)

Wut?

Guys who would be drawn to me are more likely to be temporarily frustrated with women, and want to try something different (not that I'd let them, just being hypothetical)...and can more easily justify their affection with a 'sissy' guy than a rambo type...(they find the soft, tempured attitude refreshing, that's part of it)

Whatever makes you happy. So long as you haven't gone the Buffalo Bill "Put the lotion in the basket" route, I suppose it's all well and good. I honestly have no problem with how you express yourself. I only wish you'd stop insisting that the straight men on this forum are closeted or insecure because like you, we are just being ourselves. You are doing exactly what the homophobes do...you stereotype all straight men to be beer guzzling hunters who only speak in grunts and haven't evolved past the missing link stage of evolution. You are a heterophobe.