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Old 06-01-2010, 07:57 PM
 
1,237 posts, read 3,127,979 times
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Okay here's the story. Met this guy online. We had coffee and got along well; making conversation was easy. Next time we went out for pizza, talked for 2 hours, again it went well.

So date 3 I guess you could call it was dinner again. Lot's of laughing, common interests, I had a good time and I think he did too.

But he hasn't made a move. Not even just a hug good-bye. Now I know there is no timeline...but most guys at least try to make some physical contact by this point, right?

So is he a chicken? Or is this maybe a lost cause? I would make a move myself I guess, but I'm hesistant in case I'm reading his interest wrong (plus I AM a chicken).
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:00 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 6,655,797 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swmrbird View Post
Okay here's the story. Met this guy online. We had coffee and got along well; making conversation was easy. Next time we went out for pizza, talked for 2 hours, again it went well. So is he a chicken? Or is this maybe a lost cause? I would make a move myself I guess, but I'm hesistant in case I'm reading his interest wrong (plus I AM a chicken).
I'm guessing he's shy. Try making a subtle first move (reach to hold his hand, for example) and see if he responds. If he does, at the end of the evening say something like "Can I have a goodnight kiss?" He'll probably respond willingly.
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:01 PM
 
12,094 posts, read 11,758,160 times
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Most guys don't have a friend zone per se. I'd be surprised if that's what's going on here .. your other theory, that he's a bit shy, is more plausible. I recommend giving him a little more encouragement -- just be a little more flirty than you usually are. That should do the trick.
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Sango, TN
24,874 posts, read 22,072,546 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swmrbird View Post
Okay here's the story. Met this guy online. We had coffee and got along well; making conversation was easy. Next time we went out for pizza, talked for 2 hours, again it went well.

So date 3 I guess you could call it was dinner again. Lot's of laughing, common interests, I had a good time and I think he did too.

But he hasn't made a move. Not even just a hug good-bye. Now I know there is no timeline...but most guys at least try to make some physical contact by this point, right?

So is he a chicken? Or is this maybe a lost cause? I would make a move myself I guess, but I'm hesistant in case I'm reading his interest wrong (plus I AM a chicken).
What signals are you putting out?

When a girl is interested, they'll usually find any excuse to touch you, even lightly. "Oh, theres something in your hair" or "Oh, sorry, there was a bug on you".

They also open display their chest more, show a little more leg, etc.

And, theres always the choice for you to make the first move. Is he picking you up? If so, when he walks you to the door, lean forward some. Hell, take a step forward. Making the first move doesn't mean you have to kiss him.
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,410 posts, read 18,691,182 times
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If you are both the shy type, this can take forever to move past the friend stage. Step up the flirting a little and see if he bites.

Has he been the one initiating the dates or you?
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:20 PM
 
29,534 posts, read 36,085,184 times
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I agree with Coolhand....who initiated the 2nd and 3rd dates?

It could be that he is shy, but shoot my fella is shy too, and he gave me a hug after our first meeting, and our first real date was, well, let's just say he made it crystal clear how he felt. So even if he's shy, I think you'd be getting a vibe by now. How do you feel about him?? Anything clicking? If so, then tell him. And ask him straight up if he is interested in seeing where you guys might go.
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:22 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,487 posts, read 6,637,163 times
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Some guys are just more conservative. After 6 hours you can't really expect him to put "the moves" on you. Not all guys are the same, and some guys don't like aggressive women either. You just have to judge for yourself what type he is and act accordingly. There is nothing wrong with being friends before dating either.
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:27 PM
 
1,237 posts, read 3,127,979 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
If you are both the shy type, this can take forever to move past the friend stage. Step up the flirting a little and see if he bites.

Has he been the one initiating the dates or you?

So he initiated the second date. After date 2 I just said - next time was on me so that he wouldn't have to feel like he was planning everything. But during date 3 he made a comment about next time...so I think there's interest.

Thus far we've just been meeting at locations. And sitting across the table from one another makes for difficult physical contact.

I'm inclined to go with the 'he's shy' route and give it a little more time...mostly because I can see how there's hasn't been a natural opportunity to make a move. But yea, eventually, something's got to happen.
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:29 PM
 
1,237 posts, read 3,127,979 times
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Originally Posted by miyu View Post
Some guys are just more conservative. After 6 hours you can't really expect him to put "the moves" on you. Not all guys are the same, and some guys don't like aggressive women either. You just have to judge for yourself what type he is and act accordingly. There is nothing wrong with being friends before dating either.

Thanks! I've never really done 'friends before dating' but I can see how he would be that kind of guy and I'm enjoying myself so might as well go with it I guess...
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:33 PM
 
29,534 posts, read 36,085,184 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swmrbird View Post
So he initiated the second date. After date 2 I just said - next time was on me so that he wouldn't have to feel like he was planning everything. But during date 3 he made a comment about next time...so I think there's interest.

Thus far we've just been meeting at locations. And sitting across the table from one another makes for difficult physical contact.

I'm inclined to go with the 'he's shy' route and give it a little more time...mostly because I can see how there's hasn't been a natural opportunity to make a move. But yea, eventually, something's got to happen.
This is why I hate dinner/meal dates. Go do something together...something active. Go bowling. Go play golf or putt putt. Go bike riding and take along some sandwiches. Do something...don't just sit there. Much easier to get a good idea about someone when they are dealing with trying to not fall out of a canoe.
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