Dating other people at the same time (men, love, single)
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Pretty simple to me, as I have long always dated other women until a relationship is clearly made exclusive. Just try not to do what I did and let it get to the point you need a poster board to keep track of everyone like I did.
Also I avoid talking about my intentions because they can always change. Also I find having to have a talk about where the relationship is going is usually the death knell for whatever reason. It either comes together or it doesn't.
For me, if I was in your shoes and enjoyed dating that girl, I'd continue to do so, even if the status quo is the same a year down the road, if that works for you. Cause in the meantime you might head off in another direction with another girl and there is no reason for you to remain exclusive to #1.
People will vehemently disagree but I don't believe much in planning anymore, especially in regards to relationships. You can't control what other people do and things can change quickly in one day.
As an independent contractor in my job, I treat my job the same way. I have a calendar and 365 days of the year. People can book whatever dates they want and first come first serve.
If she finds out I passed on other women to only see her and making just myself exclusive, you get MAthebanker's response as creepy
If I sit back while she takes her sweet time to decide whether to take me off the market, then I'm too passive (or too nice of a guy)
Now, if I have the opportunity to meet other women because the girl I like above all others tells me she's not in a rush, then I'm a PLAYER???
Yep, all of the above.
Once you accept that as a man you are screwed and can't win against women's endless ball of wire logic, life will be a lot easier. Women are going to come up with whatever rationalization they need to do what they do. What you have to do is rise above it and not let that control or run you. You are who you are and you really don't owe others explanations. They might think you do but you don't.
If a woman is really keen on you, then she will do the things she needs to so it will work out in her favor.
I've been called all of the above and more, even from the same psycho, but again I am who I am and if some gal wants to label me and play games, it's the curb baby.
Or, your problem could be solved by being honest with the woman you like and telling her you intend to see other women. You won't have to worry about her "finding out" some other way, and if she says that won't work for her (but she's not willing to make more time for you) then you can move on.
Or, your problem could be solved by being honest with the woman you like and telling her you intend to see other women.
you mean be forthright?
cdubs could keep his mouth shut and still be honest. for all he knows, she doesn't want to know. i don't think it is doing him any favors to talk about it, especially if she's not volunteering anything similar about herself.
Or, your problem could be solved by being honest with the woman you like and telling her you intend to see other women. You won't have to worry about her "finding out" some other way, and if she says that won't work for her (but she's not willing to make more time for you) then you can move on.
Sounds good in theory but it's too much talking and when you talk too much it puts an end to the relationship. It's like a salesmen that talks himself out of a sale.
Mostly it comes down to you really don't need to explain yourself. Every girl I date I don't need to draw up a waiver for her to sign that I can date other girls. A "date" is just that, nothing more. It should have no expectations attached to it.
I can guarantee making all these one sided declarations wont do a bit of good and sure as hell the other person will be doing what they want anyways.
you can keep your mouth shut and be honest. for all he knows, she doesn't want to know. it isn't doing him any favors to talk about it, when she's not volunteering anything similar about herself.
Well, his list of pros and cons indicates that he is worried about her being hurt or finding out - and potentially losing any chance with her. If he wants to put his mind at ease, he will do himself the favor.
Well, his list of pros and cons indicates that he is worried about her being hurt or finding out - and potentially losing any chance with her. If he wants to put his mind at ease, he will do himself the favor.
Those were just points of positive/negative. The odds of her finding out are like 1%. It's downtown Chicago, she's out of town half the time....she won't find out unless I tell her.
My mind is at ease, I'll do what makes me happy, and keeping my options open will make me happier as I know if I get dumped by girl #1 it's a lot easier to deal with if there's someone else who wants to grab a drink with me.
Sounds good in theory but it's too much talking and when you talk too much it puts an end to the relationship. It's like a salesmen that talks himself out of a sale.
Mostly it comes down to you really don't need to explain yourself. Every girl I date I don't need to draw up a waiver for her to sign that I can date other girls. A "date" is just that, nothing more. It should have no expectations attached to it.
I can guarantee making all these one sided declarations wont do a bit of good and sure as hell the other person will be doing what they want anyways.
This is probably the answer to your previous post about women having an endless ball of wire logic. It's not the women creating the problem- it's you.
If you are bent on seeing multiple women at once, why take the chance of getting together with a woman who isn't ok with that? Why not make it clear that you date more than one person and let her decide if she's ok with that? You act as though that's a difficult maneuver for you.
Those were just points of positive/negative. The odds of her finding out are like 1%. It's downtown Chicago, she's out of town half the time....she won't find out unless I tell her.
My mind is at ease, I'll do what makes me happy, and keeping my options open will make me happier as I know if I get dumped by girl #1 it's a lot easier to deal with if there's someone else who wants to grab a drink with me.
That's a wonderful way to treat a woman. We'll call her Backup girl #1. How's that?
This is probably the answer to your previous post about women having an endless ball of wire logic. It's not the women creating the problem- it's you.
If you are bent on seeing multiple women at once, why take the chance of getting together with a woman who isn't ok with that? Why not make it clear that you date more than one person and let her decide if she's ok with that? You act as though that's a difficult maneuver for you.
This particular girl has no problem asking the ballsy questions. I'll just go with "if she wants to know if i'm seeing other women, all she has to do is ask and I'll tell her".
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