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Well, I would disagree with you there. Neither partner owns the other, of course. At the same time, this decision has deep and lasting implications for both partners in a relationship in terms of health risks, time spent dealing away from work, and a host of possible emotional complications that are inherent in the process.
Now I suppose donating an egg is one matter. But carrying a child to term is something completely different, and both partners should have a say-so in the voluntary shouldering of a pregnancy on behalf of another person--regardless of who has the womb.
^^^
I would never consider doing such a thing without taking my husband's feelings into consideration. It's one thing to have the desire to help, but another to allow it to come at the expense of my marriage.
Strongly disagree. My body, my business. Particularly in the case of an S.O., vs. spouse.
Well obviously no one can stop you. Its your body. My SO doesnt need my permission. But if she did it she would be searching for another SO. We all have the right to make choices I guess.
Really. So if you have an ectopic pregnancy during a surrogacy that prevents you from having later children with your SO, then that's your problem and your problem alone?
Or if you develop gestational diabetes during your pregnancy that forces you to stay in bed for 6-7 months, forcing your SO to work twice as hard to maintain the household, then that's your problem alone?
Or if you develop complications during pregnancy that endanger your personal health, that's really only your business, and your SO should kindly butt out.
Let me dispel some romantic notions about all this. Pregnancy is serious business and should not be entered lightly, even with today's medical science. It carries health risks and other complications far beyond strictly medical issues--problems that involve both partners in a relationship. And, for example, if you have a fragile psyche, one that would suffer from giving up the child you carried to term, doesn't your SO have a right to worry about the later emotional health of his partner?
I mean, let's just put the shoe on the other foot. Let's just say you aspire to have more children, but your SO isn't convinced. Does he have a right to stroll into a urologist's office for a vasectomy without telling you? Ask 99 out of 100 women on that subject and they would say, "Absolutely not."
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
As my unemployment runs out and I still can not find a job (I AM looking and have applied EVERYWHERE, its bad out there people!!) I have thought about this option. When I discussed it my SO he seemed freaked out about the idea. How would others feel about it?
OP, you are saying that your job search has turned out so poorly, that donating your eggs is the only viable alternative?
Are you serious?
They are your eggs,but don't you think that the "bads" outweigh any possible "goods" from something like that?
Like having a kid show up on your porch in 20 years?
Or your genetic material being used for a variety of as of yet unknown experiments?
Or somebody patenting your genes?
And how much would they pay you?
Probably not as much as you think.
Working two jobs for at least a short period of time will probably do more for less risk than the idea that you expressed.
if you're worried about how much they'll pay you then shop around for clinics who start out with a higher base pay. Clinics vary on how much they compensate their donors. As for worrying about your child being out there in the world--I never give this a thought. I gave the couple my DNA but I know it's not my child as they're shaped by the parents who raise them so I feel no attachment. The mindset you have when you go into it is important. Let me know if you have questions!
Strongly disagree. My body, my business. Particularly in the case of an S.O., vs. spouse.
I always have to shrug at these answers -- my body, my business.
In the case of an SO, then yep, 100 percent because they're free to leave.
In the case of a spouse? My body, my choice tells me the spouse really isn't important at all and can just go to hell if they disagree with you despite that they have to potentially share the consequences should your decision turn out badly. It tells me only ONE of you -- the spouse -- is likely invested in the marriage and therefore is the one who actually stands to lose when things go sour.
This isn't one of those cases where the desires and goals belonging to someone else are endangering or hindering you, it's the case where your desires and goals are potentially endangering or hampering someone else, and to willfully do that against their wishes is actively malicious.
I mean, let's just put the shoe on the other foot. Let's just say you aspire to have more children, but your SO isn't convinced. Does he have a right to stroll into a urologist's office for a vasectomy without telling you? Ask 99 out of 100 women on that subject and they would say, "Absolutely not."
I'm that women 1 in the 100 but then again my husband has a vasectomy and told me straight out, "I know we're not having children (we discussed not having children before marriage) and so you don't have to endure taking the pill any longer, I will have a vasectomy."
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