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I happen to be married to a person who feels absolutely zero need to have friends. There is zero interest in bonding with others. Anyone else relate?
I have a ton of friends (always have) and try to maintain healthy friendships with them all. It has been very difficult having a spouse that does not interact well socially, etc.
Most people we meet or that I am friends with, just want to do things with me because of it.
BTW, most people think my spouse is a great person otherwise! [scratches head]
I am like your husband.
Women tend to be more socially active.
Just cause you husband is not into friends doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him.
To me: FRIENDS=WORK.
It's a sacrifice at times for friends. Sometimes you just don't want to cater to other people. Relaxing means peace and quiet.
You have to accept your husband the way he is. Understand him and appreciate that he doesn't have the same personality make up that you have.
Personally, I have a hard time interacting with people. I offend people on accident. Most of the time I just keep quiet. I enjoy people but don't easily connect with others like some people can.
I happen to be married to a person who feels absolutely zero need to have friends. There is zero interest in bonding with others. Anyone else relate?
I have a ton of friends (always have) and try to maintain healthy friendships with them all. It has been very difficult having a spouse that does not interact well socially, etc.
Most people we meet or that I am friends with, just want to do things with me because of it.
BTW, most people think my spouse is a great person otherwise! [scratches head]
I didn't see anything that said this poster was male or female. It seems by the comments that most people are assuming it is a female and the male is the introvert.
I'm just curious because I can relate (I'm female) to this comment because it sounds a lot like me and my boyfriend. He is extremely social and I am not. I feel no desire whatsoever to socialize or interact with people online or in person. He on the other hand loves to get online and chat with people on roleplaying games sites (we play together but i never talk) and he just recently joined Twitter and I'm just like wtf? Why? I hate that he is so social and I'm not. I could care less if I had any social interactions with anyone other than my boyfriend and my kids. I just am complete that way and he doesn't seem to be since he needs to be in contact with people all the time. He doesn't actually have friends he socializes with in real life which is good for me I guess but he is stuck behind his computer 24/7. I can barely get him off the computer to come to bed.
It is such a difference between us that I'm not sure if our relationship can survive. He very much wants me to be social and I want him to not be so social. Basically I know in my heart that is wrong. We should let each other be who they are, but life isn't so simple sometimes. I feel left out of his life, but I also don't want to be a part of that side of his life either.
I wish I could understand the need that so many people have for these social networking sites like facebook and twitter etc... I'm so sick of seeing and hearing those sites advertised everywhere. I just can't see why people feel the need to be so social to people THEY WILL NEVER EVER MEET and ignore those living right there with them.
I think they are part of the downfall of our society honestly because the need for human interaction and contact isn't important anymore.
I don't think it has anything to do with being male or female. When we lived up North, I had way more friends than my wife, we moved south and she has far more than me. I gave up a lot of my friends to move here and I am an extremely extroverted person. I have actually found that people in the South are fare less friendly in terms of in-depth relationships than people in the North.
That being said, I love my wife and I am not lonely, but I do miss my friends!
I'm perfectly happy having 2 or 3 friends, max. I get easily tired when I am around other people. For some reason, my sleep button goes into overdrive when I have to sit there and actually respond to people. They bore me...
The friends that I do have I noticed are very intelligent people. They engage my brain and I don't get sleepy. I also don't spend all day with any of them. Even they will bore me after 3 hours. I probably wouldn't be romantically compatible with a very social person. Mysteriously enough, my ex-boyfriend could talk all day and hang out with me all day, and I wouldn't be bored with him. I wish I felt that way about more people. But, I don't.
I have always had a fulfilling life and have been married twice. (eleven years and then eight) However, the only damn time in my life that I've EVER EVER felt a twinge of loneliness, was when I was married. Maybe in everyday life, I don't expect a darn thing, but in marriage I might expect a smidgen of 10 percent??? I think I'll stick with what I personally control and am therefore NEVER disappointed or felt like "something" was missing.
I had a boyfriend who was very very social. I was a hermit and he was outgoing. He would book us every weekend to go out with friends or some family member, to the point I ended up asking him to just go without me. It drove me crazy. I felt like I was playing the wife of an important diplomat.
I always dreaded being out and about with him because we always ended up bumping into someone he knew and he'd make another social apptment. He respected my alone time but he told me he preferred that I'd come along.
One time I met some new friends on my own, and decided to go see them without him. Just because I felt like we did everything together so much and it would be nice to see people separately. Well, he found out and showed up! I thought it was endearing of him and sweet, but still...!
Another time I went to see my sister and in the middle of my trip, he called and said he would like to join us! I was amazed. I couldn't imagine doing the same to him. But it goes to show how different people can be. Well, it turned out to be a nice trip for all of us but one thing is, socializing is a lot of work for introverts like me. It feels like a thankless chore!
That guy is now married with kids...I hope happily with a social bug like himself.
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