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I really hate going to funerals that turn into sermons.
I don't want a funeral, I want my friends and family to tell stories about me, but I don't want a preacher that I don't know, and didn't know me, up there turning my death into a come to Jesus moment.
Out of all of the funerals I've ever been to, I've never once heard someone say "You know he's going straight to hell". Everyone says "He's in a better place now" regardless of who they were.
Funerals, what a waste of time. They aren't for the dead, they are for the living. Trying to justify the death of a loved one by saying its "Gods will" because you can't deal with the fact that someday, you'll be the one in the box. But at that point, you won't care either.
Over the years I've been to no less than 100 Christian funerals. In nearly every case one preacher and sometimes two declared that the deceased was in heaven or something to that effect. That proves the funerals are for the living because nobody knows what happens to the dead. I think nothing. I think that's why they call it dead.
Yeah...like I enjoy sittin' there when I'd really rather be somewhere else anyway listening to some half educated, hillbilly bible thumper tell me, "There's No Gray Area, It's Black Or White...You Either Accept Jesus As Your Savior Or Burn In Hell." Add to that a little heavy breathing and grunting for special effect.
Oooooooh, man! That was great!
Hey, if they are already in heaven (or Hell, but they never mention that)...what's up with "Judgment Day"?
Look, lots of people twisted the Bible (and other religious works) to make it say what they needed it to say, to help them run their game. Got to say...it sure worked good.
I have donated my organs and the rest of my carcass to science...take what you can use, practice on it, whatever...I sure can't use it at that point. Burn up the rest...dump it where you care to.
Have a big party in my house to remember what a character I was...no preachers allowed. Have a blast dividing all my property, businesses, and stuff. There sure is a lot of it...OMG! Enjoy the rest of my money...but make sure you hook up some less fortunates with a big chunk of it. Be nice to all my girl friends, and make sure you take good care of any pets I've left behind.
If it's your thing...thank God for your life and the universe you behold. No need to do that post-mortem on my behalf...I've already done that a million times. I'll be seeing you soon enough...so there's no need to talk about it at the party. If it turns out I don't...I won't know it...so that doesn't matter either.
Hey, if they are already in heaven (or Hell, but they never mention that)...what's up with "Judgment Day"?
Look, lots of people twisted the Bible (and other religious works) to make it say what they needed it to say, to help them run their game. Got to say...it sure worked good.
I have donated my organs and the rest of my carcass to science...take what you can use, practice on it, whatever...I sure can't use it at that point. Burn up the rest...dump it where you care to.
Have a big party in my house to remember what a character I was...no preachers allowed. Have a blast dividing all my property, businesses, and stuff. There sure is a lot of it...OMG! Enjoy the rest of my money...but make sure you hook up some less fortunates with a big chunk of it. Be nice to all my girl friends, and make sure you take good care of any pets I've left behind.
If it's your thing...thank God for your life and the universe you behold. No need to do that post-mortem on my behalf...I've already done that a million times. I'll be seeing you soon enough...so there's no need to talk about it at the party. If it turns out I don't...I won't know it...so that doesn't matter either.
LOL...good post. I've said a hundred times...while the folks I couldn't stomach anyway are walking their streets paved with gold I'll be renewing old acquaintances.
Reading these experiences shows a trend, which I have felt to be true all along.
When else do these purveyors of hatred have a chance to talk to non-sheep. Every sunday they are preaching to the choir so to speak, the "I'm already indoctrinated into this hatred" crowd.
Funerals give these purveyors of hatred some fresh faces to spew their message of hate at.
But the positive side of this is; how many are so disgusted that they question religion, and why is it all about hatred, intolerance and being black or white. Religion withers in the face of the word "why" when reason is also employed.
Note to self...Amend will to specify a non religious service (if there is such a thing) otherwise my religious relatives will have their way...Not that it will matter to me, but it will to my kids.
but sans, man... what if you're wrong?
Quote:
Originally Posted by GldnRule
Oooooooh, man! That was great!
Have a big party in my house to remember what a character I was...no preachers allowed. Have a blast dividing all my property, businesses, and stuff.
Hey! buddy! Pal! Friend! Remember me, yur old budrflmnâ„¢? Didn't I tell you once about my fine CD collection? Hey! I see you have a few..... and a high-end player as well.... Hmmmm....
I'll be seeing you soon enough...so there's no need to talk about it at the party. If it turns out I don't...I won't know it...so that doesn't matter either.
______________________
Or.. you'll be on the "Gets In" star list and they may not be.
After having just taken care of my father in March and getting the "upsell" nonsense at that Canadian funeral home, I was appalled. The non-specific charges they simply add to the itemized expenses list was criminal. Yes, they did list all known and standard expenses: government fees, cremation and death certificates, transportation fees (across the street to the crematorium, and then carrying the small box back.), but then, they just add things like:
Miscellaneous processing expenses:.........$395
Government Dispensation Fee:................$175
GST (goods & Services Rip-Off Tax)......... $140
Unencumbered Administrative Costs (?):...$195
Requisite Crematorium Container:............$125 (I saw it; it was made of admittedly heavy duty cardboard...)
I'm sure they are preying & counting on the distraught emotional condition of the bereaved, but I was in no mood for any of it, and challenged many of these fees until they dropped them. Still, it amounted to over $3500, minimum. The funeral director was not pleased, but I did note his new Beemer out back. now that's gotta carry a pretty good lease payment, huh?
By comparison, here in the US, I'm scheduled to "go" with The Neptune Society, already paid for. (Not available in Canada...) For the princely sum of $1600, they pick me up, fire-broast me with 11 herbs & spices, and they've already given me a nice real wood urn/box. But... I'm going to have some of my ashes spread by my son up in The Brooks Range, and the rest mixed into some homemade whole wheat bread that's then tossed out on the local duck & goose pond in migration season, soz my remains, and their residue, will be dropped off along a wide, long pathway up the inland flyway from WA St to Alaska!
What a pleasant thought, to my mind. No fear of the unknown that way! and with any luck at all, some of those duck & goose droppings may land on a few churches.....
Splot!
(God will get a kick out of that! After all, He's got to have a great sense of humor, given what He has to sit back and watch us do to His creations...)
Or.. you'll be on the "Gets In" star list and they may not be.
After having just taken care of my father in March and getting the "upsell" nonsense at that Canadian funeral home, I was appalled. The non-specific charges they simply add to the itemized expenses list was criminal. Yes, they did list all known and standard expenses: government fees, cremation and death certificates, transportation fees (across the street to the crematorium, and then carrying the small box back.), but then, they just add things like:
Miscellaneous processing expenses:.........$395
Government Dispensation Fee:................$175
GST (goods & Services Rip-Off Tax)......... $140
Unencumbered Administrative Costs (?):...$195
Requisite Crematorium Container:............$125 (I saw it; it was made of admittedly heavy duty cardboard...)
I'm sure they are preying & counting on the distraught emotional condition of the bereaved, but I was in no mood for any of it, and challenged many of these fees until they dropped them. Still, it amounted to over $3500, minimum. The funeral director was not pleased, but I did note his new Beemer out back. now that's gotta carry a pretty good lease payment, huh?
By comparison, here in the US, I'm scheduled to "go" with The Neptune Society, already paid for. (Not available in Canada...) For the princely sum of $1600, they pick me up, fire-broast me with 11 herbs & spices, and they've already given me a nice real wood urn/box. But... I'm going to have some of my ashes spread by my son up in The Brooks Range, and the rest mixed into some homemade whole wheat bread that's then tossed out on the local duck & goose pond in migration season, soz my remains, and their residue, will be dropped off along a wide, long pathway up the inland flyway from WA St to Alaska!
What a pleasant thought, to my mind. No fear of the unknown that way! and with any luck at all, some of those duck & goose droppings may land on a few churches.....
Splot!
(God will get a kick out of that! After all, He's got to have a great sense of humor, given what He has to sit back and watch us do to His creations...)
I plan to be cremated. Did you know they cook you for about 2 1/2 hours with the final temperature at 1200 degrees? That gets rid of most of the ashes except those from the bones. What's returned to the family is essentially the ashes from the bones...or so I've been told.
I was at a Catholic funeral recently and, although it wasn't a fire-and-brimstone speech, it was basically a church service with communion and everything. It just seemed to take the focus away from the deceased and put it on Jesus...
The same thing has happened at the last couple of funerals I've attended. The funny thing is, I've never seen anyone convert at any of them. I think most people tolerate it out of respect for the deceased.
Sadly every funeral I've been to was basically a religious service. Full on sermons were given and and two even had worship songs sang. They were basically Sunday serices with a casket on stage. And each time the pastors made it abundantly clear that we too would be dead one day and that it was now or never to come to Jesus. So they made an already depressing time even worse by using the turn or burn crap. My relatives are all religious so I've come to expect this at any funeral for them.
Sadly every funeral I've been to was basically a religious service. Full on sermons were given and and two even had worship songs sang. They were basically Sunday serices with a casket on stage. And each time the pastors made it abundantly clear that we too would be dead one day and that it was now or never to come to Jesus. So they made an already depressing time even worse by using the turn or burn crap. My relatives are all religious so I've come to expect this at any funeral for them.
All ancient religions are based upon fear. Primitive mankind had an excuse. There was so much ignorance and so little knowledge that each thing which happened to them was mostly a puzzle. People fear what they do not understand. Today there's no excuse for it. Knowledge of everything abounds and anyone with a computer and minimal training can find the answer to almost everything. Take away the brainwashing of gullible, innocent infants and small children and the concept of ancient gods would fall on it's face.
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Truth in Death Processing....
