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Theres a Baptist Preacher, a Cotholic Preist and a Jewish Rabbi talking about how they devide the tithes and offering between God and the churches.
The Baptist Preacher says, "I draw a line on the floor and take the offering trays and throw them up in the air, what money lands on the side I'm standing I keep and what lands on the other side I give to God".
The Catholic Preist says, "no ours is better, I draw a circle on the floor, I stand in the middle of it, then I throw the offering trays into the air and what money lands in the circle goes to God and what money lands outside the circle I keep".
The Jewish Rabbi just looks at the other two shakeing his head in dismay of their methodes, says," You are both wrong! The way I do it is, I take all the offering trays and throw them into the air and what money comes down I keep and what money stays up God keep."
A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as
chaplains to the students of University of Minnesota Duluth.
They would get together two or three times a week for
coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the
comment that preaching to people isn't
really all that hard. A real challenge
would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an
experiment. They would all go out into the woods,
find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss
their experience.
Father Flanagan, who has his arm in a sling, is on
crutches, and has various bandages on his body
and limbs, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find a bear.
And when I found him I began to read to him from the
catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with
me and began to slap me around. So I quickly
grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and,
Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as
gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming
out next week to give him first
communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a
wheelchair, with an IV drip in his arm, and both legs in
casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he exclaimed,
"WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle!
I went out and I FOUND a bear. And then I began to
read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But
that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.
We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN
another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED
him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said,
he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the
Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body
cast and traction with monitors and IV's running in and out
of him. He was in real bad shape.
The Rabbi looks up and says,
"Looking back on it, circumcision
may not have been the best way to start..."
The jokes are funny and I thank you for posting them.
I don't want to be a spoil sport, but Jews do not take collections at their synagogue sabbath services (Jews are not supposed to be carrying money on the sabbath), rather they raise funds through congregation membership, fund-raising events, and selling tickets during the high holy days.
The jokes are funny and I thank you for posting them.
I don't want to be a spoil sport, but Jews do not take collections at their synagogue sabbath services (Jews are not supposed to be carrying money on the sabbath), rather they raise funds through congregation membership, fund-raising events, and selling tickets during the high holy days.
This is about Religious based jokes, not debates, and certainly not about being religiously or politically correctness. Just jokes and jokes are for laughing about and at. Good greif, can't we ever just poke fun and have fun without it becoming a nation debate.
GP,
That's for the your put it, you always seem to have a good one in your back pocket somewhere. Got anymore?
This is about Religious based jokes, not debates, and certainly not about being religiously or politically correctness. Just jokes and jokes are for laughing about and at. Good greif, can't we ever just poke fun and have fun without it becoming a nation debate.
GP,
That's for the your put it, you always seem to have a good one in your back pocket somewhere. Got anymore?
What? No comments on jokes? At least mine was kind of funny.
Cardinal Sicola was devastated; there was talk that he might be the next Pope, but it turned out that he didn't get even one vote from anyone else in the College of Cardinals. He turned to his best friend, a rabbi, for consolation.
And the rabbi said to him, "My dear Cardinal, please don't think for one minute that anyone wouldn't consider you to make an excellent Pope. I happen to know that you are held in the highest esteem by the College of Cardinals. But I suspect I know what they were thinking: if each one voted for you and you were elected, how would it sound to call you Pope Sicola?"
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Good greif, can't we ever just poke fun and have fun without it becoming a nation debate.
