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Old 07-25-2007, 08:35 AM
 
13,640 posts, read 24,462,343 times
Reputation: 18591

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Quote:
Originally Posted by june 7th View Post
First off, I may not be a "believer," but I am a parent!

That being said, I think you have both time and options on your side! (I am assuming that your son is still in high school.) I can empathize with the ambivalence that seems to so clearly come through in what you have said. I would imagine, (on the one hand) that you want to emotionally endorse and support your son's decision to be a youth minister, yet at the same time, as his mother, you are naturally aware of the "larger picture" in life: his intelligence, artistic gifts, math and science abilities, as well as wanting to see him be able to secure a sound financial future for himself.

I think when they are young, AND exceptionally intelligent, things can often change very quickly. Sometimes what they think they want at 17 is completely different by the time they hit their mid-20's! I think the best thing you can do is to discuss honestly with him where you, as his mother, are coming from. You have valid concerns, and having those concerns (in my opinion) in no way detracts from your faith and beliefs! --Either in your son, or in terms of your faith/religion. Your son has options:

He sounds like he is more than bright enough to get into a good school. If that presents a problem financially, trust me, there are ways! (My son is entering his last year of college, and believe me, I am not exactly well-off!) PM me if you would like to; you can stategize ways in which obtaining/paying for an education becomes possible. As well, could your son envision himself involved in some form of college campus youth ministry? --Because that strikes me as being just one option by means of his "exploring" the "best of both worlds." It would give him the opportunity to engage with other like-minded kids who also feel called to youth ministry, and he might very well flourish and thrive in an involvement like that. At the same time, it would provide him with the opportunity to look at (and experience) all of his options: involvement in youth/college campus ministry along with classes in those areas of academic interest that he might enjoy pursuing. There are many students involved in youth ministry where my son goes to school. --And the campus ministries of these colleges and universities truly embrace these kids and help guide them.

To be honest, one of the things that struck me the most in what you wrote was your son's gift in terms of landscaping, architecture, and design. --Because even as a non-believer, I sat here thinking: "And what better way to convey and deliver the beauty of his faith/belief in god than to create something of beauty for others to experience?" (But maybe it's just me...) I have no doubt that there are ways in which one can be employed professionally in a field that is fulfilling, and at the same time, minister to the young kids in this world who so desperately need it.

It is possible...
Great advice from a wise person..This would also be my advice
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Old 07-25-2007, 08:42 AM
 
Location: Grand Rapids Metro
8,882 posts, read 19,809,568 times
Reputation: 3920
My 2nd youngest Sister and her new husband both got college degrees in education, and at the same time were very active in their church and were youth ministers. I can't see why your son can't do a little of both: get his degree in landscape architecture and be a youth minister. Either way, you can't make the decision for him, or even push him in a particular direction. If he felt like you talked him into landscape architecture, and then it turned out that he didn't like the field when he got into it, he might resent you for it later down the road (I've seen it happen). Landscape architecture can be rewarding, but it also can be very stressful.
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Old 07-25-2007, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Deep In The Heat Of Texas
2,639 posts, read 3,211,453 times
Reputation: 700
The only dream we as parents need to have for our children is they grow to be mature, self-sufficient adults who have high morals and values and belief in the Lord Jesus Christ. All the rest will following accordingly to God's plan. We must not interfere.
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Old 07-25-2007, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Jersey Shore
1,574 posts, read 4,746,992 times
Reputation: 1016
I read a few responses regarding the age of your son. I don't believe that matters at all. God calls us all to do things at different ages/stages in life. The pastor at the fastest growing church here in Charlotte is only 27. He got his calling at 16 and now leads a church of thousands.

Your boy sounds like a wonderful young man, lifesigns. You should be proud of the job you've done as a parent. He has a lifetime to switch gears if he feels ministry was not right for him. I know it's hard to get out of the way of our children, but we need to get out of the way of God when He has a plan for us.
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Old 07-25-2007, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Northern California
1,587 posts, read 3,905,686 times
Reputation: 541
I think that we as believing parents have to determine what is most important in our lives? Are we following God no matter what the costs on this earth? Are we "taking up our cross daily to follow him?" Are we following our own wisdom or the widsom of God?

Our family struggles financially. We currently live in the San Francisco Bay Area, a very expensive place to live. We have felt God calling us to homeschool from the beginning. I was making a very good living on my own when I met my husband, but we "gave up" the money to homeschool the kids. I had to leave my horse behind in LA. This was huge...but again...what is MORE important? God's calling or my ways? Currently we live in a mobile home, our cars are old but they are paid for, we don't go on fancy vacations, and we don't have nice clothes or furniture. At times, just a trip to Mcdonalds is stressful...where is that money coming from? But...what do we have? We have a close family, full of love. I am able to teach the kids about the Lord, and they can witness it through the adults and kids they play with each day. How much value is there in a person's soul? Can you put a financial price on it? No! And neither can your son as he seeks to bring other kids to the Lord. This was God's call for us, and no money could replace the time we are spending teaching the kids each day. There is so much more to the story...hubby got laid off and his new job didn't pay enough for me to stay home. Then...here comes a job offer in Texas! More money, and we can even buy a home. Wait! My mom is here, my brother, my neices...I just made some good friends. But...how far are we willing to go to follow God's calling for us? Yes, I don't like leaving my family but I know God's calling us to homeschool...he overrides my desires and we have been blessed richly because of it.

Wow...this post was longer then I expected it to be. I know your situation is different, especially with an agnostic husband. I just wanted to encourage you to let God work out the details and encourage your son to follow where he feels God is calling him. If your son was responsible for the salvation of even one soul...would it not be worth it? Of course it would! What we see as valuable is not the same as what God sees as valuable. I say this to you as a mom who has very little in savings, we have no 401K as back up to survive on, and my husband is uninsurable for life insurance. We have to trust God. And so do you. I hope that wasn't harsh...???

You are truly blessed to have a son so willing to do the work of the Lord, let him go and watch the Lord work!

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Old 07-25-2007, 09:33 AM
 
204 posts, read 507,182 times
Reputation: 138
Hello,
Let me give you the flip side of this coin. I come from money. My family was not on par with the Trumps, but they certainly were not starving by any means. I grew up in what most would consider a really huge house. I frequently vacation in exotic places. I take one major vacation a year out of country. This year alone I plan on taking two trips to Europe. I drive an expensive BMW. I live in an expensive house. My woredrobe is filled with Fendi and Prada. By the standards of most people I guess I'd be considered upper middle class (maybe even rich by some).

I know most people don't have what I have. I know I've been blessed by God. I know all these things I have are gifts from God. I know I need to do a better job on not complaining over small things that some people don't even have (money really does make you spoiled sometimes).

Having money did not prevent my mom and grandparents from dying. Money does not prevent me from getting sick. Money does not fix my relationship problems with family, friends, my boyfriend and coworkers. Money does not take away all the sadness I feel watching people suffer. Having money doesn't give you less problems...it just gives you a new set of problems. With a high paying job your son will still have problems trust me. Just read about Soloman in the bible. I mean that guy was RICH. He'd probably consider Bill Gates poor! And read some of the problems he had.

Things aren't better with a lot of money...just different. You get a whole new set of problems to deal with: Where do I keep my money, who should manage my money, who wants to take my money, am I going to loose my money, when I die who gets my money, how do I spend my money, are people using me just for my money. And the list goes on and on.

Truely its better to seek treasure in heaven, and HIS righteousness. Christ is the real treasure I have.

Even in heaven money will not matter. Streets of gold...thats fine and dandy, Pearly gates...wonderful, City foundations made of gems...sounds beautiful. But I love Jesus so much now that I'd be his follower even if there were no heaven to go to. I just want His love. Heaven would not be heaven without him. Heaven is a person, not a place.
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Old 07-25-2007, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,915 posts, read 18,597,697 times
Reputation: 5524
There's some very good advice there. If someone feels a strong desire to follow a certain path there's probably a good reason for it. Every person has their own unique skills and talents and are generally drawn towards an occupation that will utilize them. Individuals who have artistic skills and pursue a career often have a hard time making ends meet but they're happy because they're doing what they really want to. This might be similar to your son's situation because money isn't the motivation in his thinking. People who get into occupations that don't really suit them just because the pay is good are often unhappy and frustrated. It sounds like he's a sincere and capable young man and he just wants to follow what feels right to him.
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Old 07-25-2007, 10:32 AM
 
6 posts, read 24,248 times
Reputation: 12
Default get the education first

If he wants to get into ministry, the first step is to get both an education and some experience. In particular, the more science he can learn before entering a Seminary, the better he will do.

Try to get him to finish at least a Master Degree in a basic education before thinking about missionary work.
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Old 07-25-2007, 02:52 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,169 posts, read 17,617,596 times
Reputation: 64102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzedforhim View Post
I think that we as believing parents have to determine what is most important in our lives? Are we following God no matter what the costs on this earth? Are we "taking up our cross daily to follow him?" Are we following our own wisdom or the widsom of God?

Our family struggles financially. We currently live in the San Francisco Bay Area, a very expensive place to live. We have felt God calling us to homeschool from the beginning. I was making a very good living on my own when I met my husband, but we "gave up" the money to homeschool the kids. I had to leave my horse behind in LA. This was huge...but again...what is MORE important? God's calling or my ways? Currently we live in a mobile home, our cars are old but they are paid for, we don't go on fancy vacations, and we don't have nice clothes or furniture. At times, just a trip to Mcdonalds is stressful...where is that money coming from? But...what do we have? We have a close family, full of love. I am able to teach the kids about the Lord, and they can witness it through the adults and kids they play with each day. How much value is there in a person's soul? Can you put a financial price on it? No! And neither can your son as he seeks to bring other kids to the Lord. This was God's call for us, and no money could replace the time we are spending teaching the kids each day. There is so much more to the story...hubby got laid off and his new job didn't pay enough for me to stay home. Then...here comes a job offer in Texas! More money, and we can even buy a home. Wait! My mom is here, my brother, my neices...I just made some good friends. But...how far are we willing to go to follow God's calling for us? Yes, I don't like leaving my family but I know God's calling us to homeschool...he overrides my desires and we have been blessed richly because of it.

Wow...this post was longer then I expected it to be. I know your situation is different, especially with an agnostic husband. I just wanted to encourage you to let God work out the details and encourage your son to follow where he feels God is calling him. If your son was responsible for the salvation of even one soul...would it not be worth it? Of course it would! What we see as valuable is not the same as what God sees as valuable. I say this to you as a mom who has very little in savings, we have no 401K as back up to survive on, and my husband is uninsurable for life insurance. We have to trust God. And so do you. I hope that wasn't harsh...???

You are truly blessed to have a son so willing to do the work of the Lord, let him go and watch the Lord work!

What would you rather be doing than homeschooling?
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Old 07-25-2007, 04:17 PM
 
Location: Northern California
1,587 posts, read 3,905,686 times
Reputation: 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by zonababe View Post
What would you rather be doing than homeschooling?
Nothing...but my point is that the world doesn't always agree with these sacrifices. I guess I didn't really clarify in my post. My mom thinks I'm being ridiculous by not working and should just put my kids in public school. After all, we turned out fine. And I'm not downing parents who do send their kids to public school...but we feel a different calling for our family. It would be all to easy to ignore that calling and do what seems logical by the worlds standards...go back to work and earn a ton of money so that we are "comfortable" and "secure" financially. But as I was saying...what price can you put on God's calling? None IMHO. These are decisions that will impact our kids lives forever...if God is calling us to obey, and we know it, we should follow knowing he'll bless us for it no matter what the world thinks about that choice.
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