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Forcing your kid to go to church when they don't believe in your silly religion gains you nothing but their contempt.
But this is America. You are free to be a bad parent...
I'm curious if you have a kid. Did you use that silly method of parenting with them? When did they begin to make decisions for themselves? Did you ever teach them that they had to sometimes do something they don't want to?
I'm curious if you have a kid. Did you use that silly method of parenting with them? When did they begin to make decisions for themselves? Did you ever teach them that they had to sometimes do something they don't want to?
I do have a kid. So forget the "you don't have a kid so you don't know" thought. That, in and of itself, shows you really have no argument...
My kid understands WHY there is a rule and what it is for. When she began to reason in her own I explained the why of rules and the consequences.
I don't use capricious reasons like because I said so or because if you live in my house you follow my rules...
And sorry but no matter what you say, there are far better ways to teach your children than that...
While my kid is a little person they are still a person. I gain nothing by crushing them underfoot just because I can. I have no desire to be a tyrant.
And as for the thread topic, my kid goes to Sunday school with her best friend. I'm an atheist.
I guess I should just tell her she CAN'T go to church because she lives in my house and under my rules...
Yah...you're right. Allowing narcissistic, spoiled brat teenagers to call the shots helps them to learn how to be a good employee and responsible adult.
Attitudes like that is why we have to have a law allowing kids to be on their parents' health insurance until age 26.
What does going to church have to do with being a good employee or a responsible adult?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vizio
Did you ever teach them that they had to sometimes do something they don't want to?
For things they actually have to do.
Plenty of adults choose not to go to church, and it has no negative effect on their lives.
I do have a kid. So forget the "you don't have a kid so you don't know" thought. That, in and of itself, shows you really have no argument...
My kid understands WHY there is a rule and what it is for. When she began to reason in her own I explained the why of rules and the consequences.
I don't use capricious reasons like because I said so or because if you live in my house you follow my rules...
And sorry but no matter what you say, there are far better ways to teach your children than that...
While my kid is a little person they are still a person. I gain nothing by crushing them underfoot just because I can. I have no desire to be a tyrant.
And as for the thread topic, my kid goes to Sunday school with her best friend. I'm an atheist.
I guess I should just tell her she CAN'T go to church because she lives in my house and under my rules...
I've never suggested you don't have kids. My question is an attempt to reason with you. I'm guessing that there has been an occasion where the kid thought that your rule was stupid. Maybe bedtime...maybe a clothing choice...I don't know. But to suggest that she can order her entire life is insane.
You choose to let her go to church with her friend. Good for you. That's your choice.
What does going to church have to do with being a good employee or a responsible adult?
My point is that sometimes people have to do things they don't want to do. Learning that in your teen years prepares you for the fact that you may not like what your boss tells you to do...but you do it anyway. You can substitute anything you want in there....cleaning your room, setting the table for dinner, feeding the dog...whatever.
My point is that sometimes people have to do things they don't want to do. Learning that in your teen years prepares you for the fact that you may not like what your boss tells you to do...but you do it anyway. You can substitute anything you want in there....cleaning your room, setting the table for dinner, feeding the dog...whatever.
I disagree.
Have you ever heard of the concept of natural consequence.
There is no natural consequence for not going to church.
There are natural consequences for not doing HW, or studying for tests, or for staying up too late, or for not doing chores.
I've never suggested you don't have kids. My question is an attempt to reason with you. I'm guessing that there has been an occasion where the kid thought that your rule was stupid. Maybe bedtime...maybe a clothing choice...I don't know. But to suggest that she can order her entire life is insane.
You choose to let her go to church with her friend. Good for you. That's your choice.
Reason. Not force.
What I said from the beginning. I never said they could do whatever they want whenever they want... But church is not all that important except in your head...
6 year olds can't reason so you use force. 15 year olds CAN reason so you use reason.
Using force for no good reason is a parenting failure...
Talk to the priest. Tell him you don't want to be there and ask him to tell your parents not to force you to go. Might work. If he doesn't become a disruption. I wouldn't throw stink bombs, in this day and age people take things too serious, but disrupt things in a manner that won't get you arrested.
Explain this to your parents. Ask them to respect you.
Excellent response. When my son was the age of the OP, he started giving his dad and me so much grief over church attendance every Sunday that we finally just asked our bisop (we are Mormons) whether we should continue to insist that he attend with us or just stop fighting it. He advised us to just stop fighting it, which is what we did. Our son is now 33 and hasn't been to church in ages -- but we have an excellent relationship with him, which I attritube to our decision to let him make his own choices.
As for throwing stink bombs, that's simply a teenage version of a two-year-old's temper tantrum. There are better ways of handling the situation.
As for throwing stink bombs, that's simply a teenage version of a two-year-old's temper tantrum. There are better ways of handling the situation.
Depends on how you define better.
The only measure is success and to be fair, the deed was done after talking, pleading, reasoned arguments, passive aggressive behavior, sneaking, and even running away once.
Only then did I use the nuclear option.
In hindsight I should have gone nuclear first. I would have saved over a year of effort.
You may consider it a tantrum but in reality it was a well planned, precisely executed battle action that resulted in a positive outcome with acceptable losses.
Just like my military father spent years trying to teaching me.
And I guess that since I am now an honorably discharged vet the lesson was proper and effective.
Last edited by AnonymouseX; 02-08-2013 at 06:29 PM..
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When my son was the age of the OP, he started giving his dad and me so much grief over church attendance every Sunday that we finally just asked our bisop (we are Mormons) whether we should continue to insist that he attend with us or just stop fighting it. He advised us to just stop fighting it, which is what we did. Our son is now 33 and hasn't been to church in ages -- but we have an excellent relationship with him, which I attritube to our decision to let him make his own choices. 
