No Sex Till Marriage (translation, Eve, sinned, Hebrew)
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It kind of does, though. You're saying you value yourself too much to have sex on only the fourth date, which you judge as being too soon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906
I highly doubt that it would only take three dates to know enough about a person to be intimate with them. I don't place physical gratification so high that it is before a deep understanding of another human being.
That's fine. I don't require a deep understanding of another human being in order to enjoy sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906
It's the modern attitude that sex is the pinnacle of a relationship that causes many of societies issues: stds, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, domestic violence, divorce, to just name a few.
Sex is a basic human need.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906
Four dates, being generous with time that's sixteen to twenty hours of knowing someone and you think it's normal to be having sex? That is equivalent to being on a job for three days and being ready to sleep with a coworker.
I highly doubt that it would only take three dates to know enough about a person to be intimate with them. I don't place physical gratification so high that it is before a deep understanding of another human being.
It's the modern attitude that sex is the pinnacle of a relationship that causes many of societies issues: stds, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, domestic violence, divorce, to just name a few.
Four dates, being generous with time that's sixteen to twenty hours of knowing someone and you think it's normal to be having sex? That is equivalent to being on a job for three days and being ready to sleep with a coworker.
Every one of those issues are as old as mankind; they are not modern problems by any stretch of the imagination. Although, I, for one am grateful to live in an age where STDs and unwanted pregnancies are easily preventable, domestic violence is a crime, and no one is forced to stay in toxic marriage.
Sex is a normal part of human pair-bonding. To insist that a person refrains from it before someone speaks an incantation at a ceremony is, to put it no less emphatically than it deserves, idiotic.
Beyond that, sexual compatibility is an important part of human relationships. To commit to a lifelong relationship before exploring one's sexual compatibility with another is beyond idiotic.
Now, the rationalizers will come back with the risks of sex. Yes? So? Life is a risk. Going out to eat entails risking dying in an automobile accident en route, dying in a mass shooting once there, choking to death or dying of food poisoning. Yet we still go out to eat, virtually all of us. That's life. We don't live our lives eliminating every last bit of risk, we live them mitigating risk but not to an idiotic degree. So it is with sex. And here's a newsflash for that crowd - there's no way to eliminate sex-related risk by waiting until marriage, either, since one can never be certain beyond all doubt that one's spouse is also monogamous, and that doesn't even address the fact that STDs can be spread in ways other than sex. Of course, none of this is really relevant. These aren't the reasons the wait-until-marriage crowd waits - they do it because of the ancient dictates of some hopelessly ignorant Middle Eastern desert-dwellers, and then flail around for excuses to rationalize the following of these irrational rules.
It kind of does, though. You're saying you value yourself too much to have sex on only the fourth date, which you judge as being too soon.
That's fine. I don't require a deep understanding of another human being in order to enjoy sex.
Sex is a basic human need.
And? What's wrong with that? Nothing at all.
It's a matter of semantics. I consider my self respect to be a component of my self worth. My worth also includes my education, experience, values, etc.
But that's not the issue so let's move on.
Sex as a basic human need may be true, but a person is capable of self control. I need food but I don't have chocolate cake at every meal. The concept that need (or just want) is more important than self respect or self control creates undesirable side effects.
Again, I'm not saying wait until marriage, or even engagement. But three or four dates? That sounds more like want or desperation or media induced expectation than a realistic way to begin a relationship. I assure you any man expecting sex from me after only knowing him for twenty hours is going to be disappointed, and then finding someone else.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906
It's a matter of semantics. I consider my self respect to be a component of my self worth. My worth also includes my education, experience, values, etc.
But that's not the issue so let's move on.
Sex as a basic human need may be true, but a person is capable of self control. I need food but I don't have chocolate cake at every meal. The concept that need (or just want) is more important than self respect or self control creates undesirable side effects.
Again, I'm not saying wait until marriage, or even engagement. But three or four dates? That sounds more like want or desperation or media induced expectation than a realistic way to begin a relationship. I assure you any man expecting sex from me after only knowing him for twenty hours is going to be disappointed, and then finding someone else.
I don't "expect" sex from my female partners after 3-4 dates. It is a "we" decision, but I'll know, and she will know, long before the third date what our perspectives are. Most mature women have no problem discussing the issue and perspectives of being intimate long before actually getting naked together.
If her perspective is a long courting period, that conflicts with mine. Sex is a natural part of human interaction, so, and of course assuming that the normal precautions as far as sexual health is concerned, why enjoy that activity with your partner.
It's a matter of semantics. I consider my self respect to be a component of my self worth. My worth also includes my education, experience, values, etc.
But that's not the issue so let's move on.
Sex as a basic human need may be true, but a person is capable of self control. I need food but I don't have chocolate cake at every meal. The concept that need (or just want) is more important than self respect or self control creates undesirable side effects.
I don't see a conflict between having self respect, self control, and sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906
Again, I'm not saying wait until marriage, or even engagement. But three or four dates? That sounds more like want or desperation or media induced expectation than a realistic way to begin a relationship. I assure you any man expecting sex from me after only knowing him for twenty hours is going to be disappointed, and then finding someone else.
I'm saying have sex if you want. If you don't, then don't. It is for you to determine if you want to or not. I'm not attaching any judgment to your decision, one way or the other. If three or four dates is too soon for you, that is perfectly fine. If one date is not too soon for someone else, that is perfectly fine too.
They weren't married I doubt they had sex while in the garden they did know what it was.
They did have sex in the Garden...That is where Cain was conceived...
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