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Old 12-31-2015, 07:23 AM
 
Location: California side of the Sierras
11,162 posts, read 7,605,414 times
Reputation: 12523

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906 View Post
Worth does not equal respect.
It kind of does, though. You're saying you value yourself too much to have sex on only the fourth date, which you judge as being too soon.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906 View Post
I highly doubt that it would only take three dates to know enough about a person to be intimate with them. I don't place physical gratification so high that it is before a deep understanding of another human being.
That's fine. I don't require a deep understanding of another human being in order to enjoy sex.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906 View Post
It's the modern attitude that sex is the pinnacle of a relationship that causes many of societies issues: stds, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, domestic violence, divorce, to just name a few.
Sex is a basic human need.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906 View Post
Four dates, being generous with time that's sixteen to twenty hours of knowing someone and you think it's normal to be having sex? That is equivalent to being on a job for three days and being ready to sleep with a coworker.
And? What's wrong with that? Nothing at all.
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Old 12-31-2015, 07:58 AM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,202,885 times
Reputation: 15314
Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906 View Post
Worth does not equal respect.

I highly doubt that it would only take three dates to know enough about a person to be intimate with them. I don't place physical gratification so high that it is before a deep understanding of another human being.

It's the modern attitude that sex is the pinnacle of a relationship that causes many of societies issues: stds, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, domestic violence, divorce, to just name a few.

Four dates, being generous with time that's sixteen to twenty hours of knowing someone and you think it's normal to be having sex? That is equivalent to being on a job for three days and being ready to sleep with a coworker.
Every one of those issues are as old as mankind; they are not modern problems by any stretch of the imagination. Although, I, for one am grateful to live in an age where STDs and unwanted pregnancies are easily preventable, domestic violence is a crime, and no one is forced to stay in toxic marriage.
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Old 12-31-2015, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Type 0.73 Kardashev
11,110 posts, read 9,758,928 times
Reputation: 40161
Sex is a normal part of human pair-bonding. To insist that a person refrains from it before someone speaks an incantation at a ceremony is, to put it no less emphatically than it deserves, idiotic.

Beyond that, sexual compatibility is an important part of human relationships. To commit to a lifelong relationship before exploring one's sexual compatibility with another is beyond idiotic.

Now, the rationalizers will come back with the risks of sex. Yes? So? Life is a risk. Going out to eat entails risking dying in an automobile accident en route, dying in a mass shooting once there, choking to death or dying of food poisoning. Yet we still go out to eat, virtually all of us. That's life. We don't live our lives eliminating every last bit of risk, we live them mitigating risk but not to an idiotic degree. So it is with sex. And here's a newsflash for that crowd - there's no way to eliminate sex-related risk by waiting until marriage, either, since one can never be certain beyond all doubt that one's spouse is also monogamous, and that doesn't even address the fact that STDs can be spread in ways other than sex. Of course, none of this is really relevant. These aren't the reasons the wait-until-marriage crowd waits - they do it because of the ancient dictates of some hopelessly ignorant Middle Eastern desert-dwellers, and then flail around for excuses to rationalize the following of these irrational rules.
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Old 12-31-2015, 08:42 AM
 
Location: Florida
7,225 posts, read 7,017,093 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
It kind of does, though. You're saying you value yourself too much to have sex on only the fourth date, which you judge as being too soon.



That's fine. I don't require a deep understanding of another human being in order to enjoy sex.



Sex is a basic human need.



And? What's wrong with that? Nothing at all.
It's a matter of semantics. I consider my self respect to be a component of my self worth. My worth also includes my education, experience, values, etc.

But that's not the issue so let's move on.

Sex as a basic human need may be true, but a person is capable of self control. I need food but I don't have chocolate cake at every meal. The concept that need (or just want) is more important than self respect or self control creates undesirable side effects.

Again, I'm not saying wait until marriage, or even engagement. But three or four dates? That sounds more like want or desperation or media induced expectation than a realistic way to begin a relationship. I assure you any man expecting sex from me after only knowing him for twenty hours is going to be disappointed, and then finding someone else.
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Salt Lake City
27,962 posts, read 29,797,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyl3r View Post
Something I'm particularly interested in is if there's anyone religious here who made it to marriage, are you happy you did?
Yes.

Quote:
Did it seem like a spiritual experience?
No, it seemed like a sexual experience.

Quote:
Do you feel fulfilled?
Of course. Why wouldn't I?
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:14 AM
 
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
10,202 posts, read 7,886,766 times
Reputation: 4560
Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906 View Post
It's a matter of semantics. I consider my self respect to be a component of my self worth. My worth also includes my education, experience, values, etc.

But that's not the issue so let's move on.

Sex as a basic human need may be true, but a person is capable of self control. I need food but I don't have chocolate cake at every meal. The concept that need (or just want) is more important than self respect or self control creates undesirable side effects.

Again, I'm not saying wait until marriage, or even engagement. But three or four dates? That sounds more like want or desperation or media induced expectation than a realistic way to begin a relationship. I assure you any man expecting sex from me after only knowing him for twenty hours is going to be disappointed, and then finding someone else.

I don't "expect" sex from my female partners after 3-4 dates. It is a "we" decision, but I'll know, and she will know, long before the third date what our perspectives are. Most mature women have no problem discussing the issue and perspectives of being intimate long before actually getting naked together.

If her perspective is a long courting period, that conflicts with mine. Sex is a natural part of human interaction, so, and of course assuming that the normal precautions as far as sexual health is concerned, why enjoy that activity with your partner.

Now, this lady has a perspective I concur with:

https://youtu.be/6dbQqrEamdQ
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:43 AM
 
Location: California side of the Sierras
11,162 posts, read 7,605,414 times
Reputation: 12523
Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906 View Post
It's a matter of semantics. I consider my self respect to be a component of my self worth. My worth also includes my education, experience, values, etc.

But that's not the issue so let's move on.

Sex as a basic human need may be true, but a person is capable of self control. I need food but I don't have chocolate cake at every meal. The concept that need (or just want) is more important than self respect or self control creates undesirable side effects.
I don't see a conflict between having self respect, self control, and sex.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kab0906 View Post
Again, I'm not saying wait until marriage, or even engagement. But three or four dates? That sounds more like want or desperation or media induced expectation than a realistic way to begin a relationship. I assure you any man expecting sex from me after only knowing him for twenty hours is going to be disappointed, and then finding someone else.
I'm saying have sex if you want. If you don't, then don't. It is for you to determine if you want to or not. I'm not attaching any judgment to your decision, one way or the other. If three or four dates is too soon for you, that is perfectly fine. If one date is not too soon for someone else, that is perfectly fine too.
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Old 12-31-2015, 10:41 AM
 
19,942 posts, read 17,125,414 times
Reputation: 2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
They weren't married I doubt they had sex while in the garden they did know what it was.
Of course they were married. God gave Eve to Adam as his mate.
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Old 12-31-2015, 10:44 AM
 
Location: UK
67 posts, read 46,120 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vizio View Post
Of course they were married. God gave Eve to Adam as his mate.
Yeh right, like existed !
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Old 12-31-2015, 10:46 AM
 
Location: US
32,530 posts, read 21,923,837 times
Reputation: 2226
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
They weren't married I doubt they had sex while in the garden they did know what it was.
They did have sex in the Garden...That is where Cain was conceived...
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