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So my first child is going to be baptized Catholic. I was baptized but never confirmed, which was my choice. I've given up the whole "stand for my principles" angle and decided to let my kid be baptized in case they would like to pursue their faith when they are older. I think there is some pressure from the grandmother and mother in law, but this is really my wife's idea. She's not a regular churchgoer (maybe once a year, if that) but she really wants to have our child baptized.
So here's my question: how can I participate while still being respectful of the church and the pastor? Just because I don't share their beliefs doesn't mean I want to make a mockery of the process. I've recently learned that there is a short baptism class that is part of the requirement as well. I'm expecting to have to lie my face off professing my "faith" just to get through it and I feel that is pretty disrespectful to the church and the staff. Any advice?
PS I know things get a bit hostile in this subforum every once in a while. I'm really trying to be respectful of everyone's beliefs.
So my first child is going to be baptized Catholic. I was baptized but never confirmed, which was my choice. I've given up the whole "stand for my principles" angle and decided to let my kid be baptized in case they would like to pursue their faith when they are older. I think there is some pressure from the grandmother and mother in law, but this is really my wife's idea. She's not a regular churchgoer (maybe once a year, if that) but she really wants to have our child baptized.
So here's my question: how can I participate while still being respectful of the church and the pastor? Just because I don't share their beliefs doesn't mean I want to make a mockery of the process. I've recently learned that there is a short baptism class that is part of the requirement as well. I'm expecting to have to lie my face off professing my "faith" just to get through it and I feel that is pretty disrespectful to the church and the staff. Any advice?
PS I know things get a bit hostile in this subforum every once in a while. I'm really trying to be respectful of everyone's beliefs.
I would encourage you to speak to the priest and just tell him how you feel. Be polite and explain that you are not a church-goer. He will likely figure that out, since you said your wife is not a regular attender, either. I'm sure the priest is used to this type of thing -- believe me, he's likely seen it all. Just be nice, polite, and remember what our parents always told us: if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it.
Show up, be present and let the child make their decisions in their lives down the path. I did that with my adult daughter and she's raising her children like that. No force for sure. I was forced to go to church, confession crap in my young life. On the confession, I made up "sins" to confess. So much B.S. I would not speak to the priest, why and what does that prove. Let it go and go along to where you need to go. It's your child you'll be raising.
So my first child is going to be baptized Catholic. I was baptized but never confirmed, which was my choice. I've given up the whole "stand for my principles" angle and decided to let my kid be baptized in case they would like to pursue their faith when they are older. I think there is some pressure from the grandmother and mother in law, but this is really my wife's idea. She's not a regular churchgoer (maybe once a year, if that) but she really wants to have our child baptized.
So here's my question: how can I participate while still being respectful of the church and the pastor? Just because I don't share their beliefs doesn't mean I want to make a mockery of the process. I've recently learned that there is a short baptism class that is part of the requirement as well. I'm expecting to have to lie my face off professing my "faith" just to get through it and I feel that is pretty disrespectful to the church and the staff. Any advice?
PS I know things get a bit hostile in this subforum every once in a while. I'm really trying to be respectful of everyone's beliefs.
Both of my children were baptized, but not Catholic. If you want to do this, for your wife's sake or for other reasons, just take the class, and answer the questions at the time of the baptism.
You do not need to get into deep theological discussions with the pastor.
Remember that you are not the first non-religious parent to have a baby baptized. Just think of it as a blessing of your baby. That can't hurt. And leave it at that.
It accomplishes the baptism without ruffling feathers, which appears to be your aim.
Well, yes and no. It's not so much about avoiding the ruffling of feathers. More about me showing respect for others' faith regardless of whether I share it or not. This is such a huge and important step that so many people take seriously that I don't want to be just "humoring" them. It's hard for me to put into words.
It seems disingenuous for me to be taking oaths and trying to pick perfect hollow answers to questions just to please a few people. I don't want to degrade the event's significance, even if I don't share the faith.
Well, yes and no. It's not so much about avoiding the ruffling of feathers. More about me showing respect for others' faith regardless of whether I share it or not. This is such a huge and important step that so many people take seriously that I don't want to be just "humoring" them. It's hard for me to put into words.
It seems disingenuous for me to be taking oaths and trying to pick perfect hollow answers to questions just to please a few people. I don't want to degrade the event's significance, even if I don't share the faith.
Please realize I'm not trying to take a shot at anyone here...I want to be as nice as possible as I say this...but you said your wife only attends once a year, right? How devout do you believe she is that she only goes to church once a year? Is she going to be offended by you just participating to get along?
As for your in-laws...what do you think they will feel about your wife who attends only annually? They have to realize that she is not particularly devout, either.
And if they're so determined you should have your child baptized even though they know you're not devout, do you honestly believe that you'll offend them by just standing there at the ceremony?
Please realize I'm not trying to take a shot at anyone here...I want to be as nice as possible as I say this
No worries, I prefer being direct to tapdancing around what you want to say.
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...but you said your wife only attends once a year, right? How devout do you believe she is that she only goes to church once a year? Is she going to be offended by you just participating to get along?
Me going along with it is totally her idea actually.
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As for your in-laws...what do you think they will feel about your wife who attends only annually? They have to realize that she is not particularly devout, either.
They are pretty laid back about the whole thing. It seems there's only mild pressure. They are fully aware of our church habits.
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And if they're so determined you should have your child baptized even though they know you're not devout, do you honestly believe that you'll offend them by just standing there at the ceremony?
It's not really them I'm worried about. It's more the pastor and parishioners. The pastor especially, who devotes his life to his faith only to have yahoos like me come around with disingenuous participation.
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