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I don't wish to question your perception, but I do think it is a very strange way to start a conversation, even for someone of his generation. I know very few old people who would start a conversation like that with a complete stranger. I am pretty sure he had some motive of talking about religion and that it was not just a way of starting a conversation.
I agree. Most people in general would bring up something having to do with sports- especially man to man. That is what I notice when I scheduled something and I have to wait. Happens all the time. Seldom do I hear someone ask the question you were asked, especially with others within ear length.
I "applaud you" for your kindness to the elderly gentleman!!!! All too often I see them being ignored and treated very disrespectfully. Passed by like a cold dish of unwanted food...
Thank you!!!!!!!
I think you were very sweet, and kind and your generosity of spirit does you credit.
I understand where you are coming from , but a part of me just wished one could still be considered kind, sweet and generous of spirit without having to tell a teeny-tiny white lie.
I'm sure that gentleman had heard many shocking things in his life, and seen things you and I would shudder at so I am not sure he needed to be shielded from your beliefs.
I would like to believe we can communicate with each other , and still hold different opinions.
Oxford for example is a place full of eccentrics and I often meet people on benches ( usually very old ones) who are to me often quite bizarre.
I love talking to them, it makes my day to spend a couple of hours on a bench with these people.
For example I love talking to this old lady who talks to ducks, has vocal dialogues with Jesus in a loud voice , remembers the invasion of Czechoslovakia by Hitler as a young woman, and met Tito ( she is my favourite one , sadly I haven't seen her for over a year, ours is ourely a relationship of chance encounters).
She is a staunch Russian Orthodox believer and we have had many theological discussions. She knows I am an atheist and we have heated but respectful arguments about it.
She looks at me as being as deluded as I think she is and yet we thoroughly enjoy our little chats. I do not feel she needs protecting from my viewpoint. She must be in her late 80s, and really is more than capable of defending her standpoint. She gives as good as she gets so to speak.
I guess I feel I owe the respect to treat her as an equal not someone who cannot deal with the truth.
I take that view with everyone.
Respect is paramount and as long as you do not offend I still believe in total honesty.
It shouldn't upset anyone to be told kindly that you are an Atheist. It does not denigrate their faith, does not mock or demean them, it is just true. Nothing more, nothing less.
These are some very interesting and very well thought out points, Moose. I suppose you are right on many levels here.
The only thing I can say is that although I didn't expect him to fall out of his chair if I told him I was an Atheist, I do know from past experience it can be a bit of a conversation killer Or for that matter, it can be the spark of a very big discussion- as is well witnessed on this forum.
I suppose what I'm getting at is that I wasn't willing to potentially end the conversation by stating as such. Did I find it a little odd that that's what he asked me? Yeah, I suppose so. However, I am trying to look at it from his perspective. This man sounded like he grew up in this part of the country his whole life, was probably familiar with the demographic that about 99.999999% of the local population believed in God, and probably felt as if it was a way in which he could transcend generations. Who did he pick? Well, none other than the single lone atheist in Little Rock
Something else I wonder about... I didn't think about this at the time, but looking back on it, and the situation that presented itself, I wonder if he sat there and racked his brain trying to figure out how he could try and start a conversation with this young "feller"? After all, in this fast paced environment of cell phones, computers, and "point and click" acquirements he probably felt a little intimidated by me and this culture. Perhaps he really just wanted to connect with me and what better way to do it (in his mind) than something he feels has remained constant throughout generations?
To be honest, I felt he wanted to talk to me. I suppose you pick up a lot by body language. He probably could have asked me why the sky was blue and I'd have responded. I expected him to ask me a question. I was the only one not reading a magazine and I left myself open and available for conversation. Would the conversation have continued if I stated I was an Atheist? It probably would have, but I do wonder if he wouldn't have felt even more intimidated (if intimidated at all?). Basically, the way I felt was that I was going to allow the conversation to continue in a non-threatening amicable way and caught up in the situation of the moment, that was how I responded.
However, looking back on it, I suppose you are right on many levels Moose and I can completely understand that perspective as well.
My answer to the op would be: Yes I do believe in Jesus, but my Jesus might not be your Jesus.
Especially since I do not believe in a Christ.
On the other hand I am always interested in how others perceive 'their' Jesus.
It might have been Jesus in disguise!!
There has been some great responses from both sides. Troop I think your response was fine and I guess this is were I am not very good out in public just approaching people. I tried to think of what I would say if someone asked me out of the blue "Why I believe in Jesus"?. When caught off guard it's hard to know what well be said. Although, being rude would not be the response in any situation.
As you said being in the Bible belt and his age it's probably a common question and I'm sure he meant no harm.
I have been an Atheist all my life but I feel no need to defend or explain that to anyone. In this situation it would be more important to me to be cordial and friendly and to have good feelings flow between us rather than some argumentative confrontation that would do neither of us any good.
I would say that "Yes, I believe in Jesus." I wouldn't have to say what I believe. I would just listen him, take my cues from what he said and what he believed, and be happy that it was such a blessing to him.
After all, it's just a few minutes in Jiffy Lube, and if you can use the time in positive human communication it makes the time a lot more valuable than just killing space while you get your oil changed.
And if he wanted to pray for me I would thank him and bow my head. What harm could it do? Taking part in someone else's ritual in no way compromises my beliefs, and, if it makes their life a little better, then I'm all for it.
The thought that a man of long experience would have nothing else but a very personal and inappropriate query into a complete stranger's private beliefs to open a conversation doesn't really make much sense. Older people rarely have nothing to say to younger people. They have long years of experience to come up with opening conversation.
That isn't how to open a conversation. You ask how long have you been waiting? What kind of car do you have? etc. That's how an innocuous conversation is opened with a stranger and it doesn't matter what age. Asking a total stranger if he believes in Jesus is the proselytizer's opening gambit. Why, if the assumption is that everyone does, would anyone ask the question at all? It doesn't make sense.
I would have replied, I beg your pardon? to the personal and inappropriate question as I would if I had been asked do you plan on getting pregnant soon? Inappropriate questions do not deserve a response. At best, I would have not replied to the question at all but have diverted to asking what kind of car he brought in. That is the technique Miss Manners recommends to not answer questions that should never have been asked in the first place. You answer an innocuous question that was not asked. A kindly demeanor or one that arises pity does not excuse the question. Someone of great age should have know better since he has a great deal of experience.
The thought that a man of long experience would have nothing else but a very personal and inappropriate query into a complete stranger's private beliefs to open a conversation doesn't really make much sense. Older people rarely have nothing to say to younger people. They have long years of experience to come up with opening conversation.
That isn't how to open a conversation. You ask how long have you been waiting? What kind of car do you have? etc. That's how an innocuous conversation is opened with a stranger and it doesn't matter what age. Asking a total stranger if he believes in Jesus is the proselytizer's opening gambit. Why, if the assumption is that everyone does, would anyone ask the question at all? It doesn't make sense.
I would have replied, I beg your pardon? to the personal and inappropriate question as I would if I had been asked do you plan on getting pregnant soon? Inappropriate questions do not deserve a response. At best, I would have not replied to the question at all but have diverted to asking what kind of car he brought in. That is the technique Miss Manners recommends to not answer questions that should never have been asked in the first place. You answer an innocuous question that was not asked. A kindly demeanor or one that arises pity does not excuse the question. Someone of great age should have know better since he has a great deal of experience.
Hmmm.... that's a very interesting take on things. I see your point and it was well made. I don't think I thought about it that way either.
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