Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I thought is best to start a new thread rather than carry on in an unrelated thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by phetaroi
My sister was raised by my mother. My mother, despite being a good person, wasn't at all talented in raising a child. In her early teens, my sister began being promiscuous, using drugs, and misusing alcohol. This alcohol and drug abuse continued on through life. She often couldn't get a job because of never having completed high school, and when she did find a job didn't keep up with it and would get fired. She fell into what I would call a poverty lifestyle (as demonstrated by she and her SO not having a working toilet for 7 years). She always complained about relatives not wanting to be around her, but we didn't want to be around the drugs and alcohol and relative squalor. Her teeth rotted out and she died at age 50 from cirrhosis of the liver and related maladies. No one handed her these negative outcomes. No one on earth and no one up in the sky. She reaped what she sowed, so to speak. For every action there is a reaction. From my perspective it had nothing to do with sin. It had to do with poor life choices...karma...coming back to bite her.
Karma, as the original concept, is more than choices. We underestimate the fortune of being born healthy with all our physical and mental capacity in tact, parented with care into an adult who contributes positively to society. Those accidents of life are not choices we can make. Similarly proclivity to alcoholism and drug abuse is not always choice. It is a difficult journey to come out of it and stay sober. Recovery is not always about something as easy as choice, it is a very hard diligent work, we can call it a form of yoga. Karma is all of these. It is about what we do with the cards life deals us. Where and how do we find that inner strength to deal with it.
I thought is best to start a new thread rather than carry on in an unrelated thread.
Karma, as the original concept, is more than choices. We underestimate the fortune of being born healthy with all our physical and mental capacity in tact, parented with care into an adult who contributes positively to society. Those accidents of life are not choices we can make. Similarly proclivity to alcoholism and drug abuse is not always choice. It is a difficult journey to come out of it and stay sober. Recovery is not always about something as easy as choice, it is a very hard diligent work, we can call it a form of yoga. Karma is all of these. It is about what we do with the cards life deals us. Where and how do we find that inner strength to deal with it.
Perhaps...or perhaps some things are karma and some things are simply coincidence.
a child does not grow up in a vacuum, so no, if someone can not finish high school and is dragged down by drugs and alcohol and promiscuity, it is a result of the environment she has grown up in. so no she is NOT reaping what she has sown, but rather what her parents and birth family and home life circumstances have sown, including perhaps a family genetic predisposition to addiction and addictive behavior.
as an adult yes she is responsible for seeking help and recovery. for finding the support and resources that were not provided to her as a child growing up by the adults around her. But I am struck by the utter lack of compassion and coldness in describing not only the sister as a youngster but also anyone struggling with addiction and recovery as "poor life choices coming back to bite her" and "she reaped what she sowed."
i will echo what post #1 says it is a difficult journey to come out of and requires hard work and commitment to recovery. It is sad to read of her circumstances disease, pain, and death. It is also sad to hear comments even after her death that to my ear sound cruel and without dignity.
When we are faced with that in our own family or elsewhere, what it asks of us is compassion and dignity. If not while the person is living, then at least trying to find the generosity of spirit to do so after they have passed on.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 03-22-2020 at 04:39 PM..
a child does not grow up in a vacuum, so no, if someone can not finish high school and is dragged down by drugs and alcohol and promiscuity, it is a result of the environment she has grown up in. so no she is NOT reaping what she has sown, but rather what her parents and birth family and home life circumstances have sown, including perhaps a family genetic predisposition to addiction and addictive behavior.
as an adult yes she is responsible for seeking help and recovery. for finding the support and resources that were not provided to her as a child growing up by the adults around her. But I am struck by the utter lack of compassion and coldness in describing not only the sister as a youngster but also anyone struggling with addiction and recovery as "poor life choices coming back to bite her" and "she reaped what she sowed."
i will echo what post #1 says it is a difficult journey to come out of and requires hard work and commitment to recovery. It is sad to read of her circumstances disease, pain, and death. It is also sad to hear comments even after her death that to my ear sound cruel and without dignity.
When we are faced with that in our own family or elsewhere, what it asks of us is compassion and dignity. If not while the person is living, then at least trying to find the generosity of spirit to do so after they have passed on.
Two children of the same parents and parenting style do not always fare the same way. We see that all the time. One child thrives and excels the other gets addicted and has mental health issues. So it is not very useful to fault parenting. There are children who survive very bad parenting, alchoholic and abusive adults, and become compassionate and successful adults.
Karma is relentless in holding the individual responsible for his actions. Bad parents may face their own karma. The predisposition towards addiction, mental health issues, are part of working out the karma. What is in the individual, his innate tendencies, are what will also guide him out of it to recovery or destroy him. That he seeks counseling, or spirituality, or dedicates himself to help others like him are all up to him, and ways of discharging bad karma.
Before I am taken to task one can do all these things without awareness of karma. But karma always is.
a child does not grow up in a vacuum, so no, if someone can not finish high school and is dragged down by drugs and alcohol and promiscuity, it is a result of the environment she has grown up in. so no she is NOT reaping what she has sown, but rather what her parents and birth family and home life circumstances have sown, including perhaps a family genetic predisposition to addiction and addictive behavior.
as an adult yes she is responsible for seeking help and recovery. for finding the support and resources that were not provided to her as a child growing up by the adults around her. But I am struck by the utter lack of compassion and coldness in describing not only the sister as a youngster but also anyone struggling with addiction and recovery as "poor life choices coming back to bite her" and "she reaped what she sowed."
i will echo what post #1 says it is a difficult journey to come out of and requires hard work and commitment to recovery. It is sad to read of her circumstances disease, pain, and death. It is also sad to hear comments even after her death that to my ear sound cruel and without dignity.
When we are faced with that in our own family or elsewhere, what it asks of us is compassion and dignity. If not while the person is living, then at least trying to find the generosity of spirit to do so after they have passed on.
I thought we were discussing karma. You appear to be discussing parenting. The principle of karma doesn't know how old or wise you are.
Two children of the same parents and parenting style do not always fare the same way. We see that all the time. One child thrives and excels the other gets addicted and has mental health issues. So it is not very useful to fault parenting. There are children who survive very bad parenting, alchoholic and abusive adults, and become compassionate and successful adults.
Karma is relentless in holding the individual responsible for his actions. Bad parents may face their own karma. The predisposition towards addiction, mental health issues, are part of working out the karma. What is in the individual, his innate tendencies, are what will also guide him out of it to recovery or destroy him. That he seeks counseling, or spirituality, or dedicates himself to help others like him are all up to him, and ways of discharging bad karma.
Before I am taken to task one can do all these things without awareness of karma. But karma always is.
i am not faulting the parenting.
i am saying it is unconscionable to fault the child.
a child coming to harm growing up, can NOT be blamed on the child.
and parents do not always have the life skills, ability, resources, and experience to keep a child safe and protected.
the chain of repetition, of repeating the cycle only happens when someone seeks help and changes the family pattern and the cycle of addiction.
regarding the view "karma always is"
no, not anymore. that no longer applies because we are now able to drop it.
it can be dropped. we can step out of it completely
whereas before in the past we could not.
since passing the planetary benchmark and making the collective decision for humanity not to destroy itself, karma is no longer necessary. we can use our free choice to drop it.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 03-22-2020 at 06:26 PM..
This is NOT about faulting anyone.This is about karma.
It isn't even about faulting my sister. It's about the principle of karma.
Try to remain on topic instead of just using this as another thread in which to bash me. The topic is karma.
and when you speak of "the principle of karma" what does that mean for you?
since people use it in different ways to mean different things.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 03-22-2020 at 06:42 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
